Hello, my name is Hugo

[Marvinteck]

Welcome to GaySpeak Hugo. You have come to the right place. This place helped me tremendously while I was coming out. You might want to check out other peoples coming out stories on YouTube. The crowd that runs around here is pretty diverse so you are bound to find someone who can point you in the right direction and offer support. Stay awhile mile:

[monk]

Welcome!

[Dan1980]

Hi welcome Hugo.

[AquarianDragon]

Welcome Hugo mile:

[Firetiger]

Hi Hugo and Welcome to Gayspeak!

[Roxy]

Welcome to GS, Hugo! =D

[princealbertofb]

Hello Hugo, and to GaySpeak. Whoever on earth decided that it was less manly to love another man? I don't see how it'll change who you are basically? You're not going to change the way you are? It might change the sort of people you associate with (and accept being seen with) but it's not going to change the way YOU are. Leopards don't change their spots.

People's perception of who you are doesn't fit what you feel inside. But they don't really know you. And they won't if you don't let them. If you are now comfortable with being in a relationship with a male, then go out there and seek it. If your whole world and your whole life depends on it, then seek it. Only fools never change their minds, the saying goes. It's human to err, and it's human to be looking for long term companionship. We find it wherever we can, and when we're lucky enough to find it, we hold on to it.

You're not the first man here, Hugo, to have taken your time finding who you are and finally coming to terms with it. The self-perceived ''shame'' or ridicule of your past behaviour is only an obstacle in so far as you are ready to let it be an obstacle. You can skip that hurdle. Those who aren't intelligent enough to accept you as you are, needn't be your friends.

As for family, they generally learn to adapt. Maybe it'll make them less crass and ignorant about what it means to be gay or bisexual? Once they know one: you, their brother, their son, their cousin, their uncle ...

Take care, and come here as much as you like to vent, wish, hope, cry on someone's shoulder... you name it. I hope it'll be the beginning of a new life for you soon. One in which you can shine and thrive.

[ready74]

Thank you all for your advice and your kind words. Everything you have said really resonates with me.
I have to say, the first few days, after coming out to myself were somewhat difficult. I felt very vulnerable, but also somewhat hopeful. Today I feel more confident and I'm excited of the possibilities of a long term relationship. I guess you can say I feel lighter and more willing to connect with others.
My denial was closing me off from the world and I was becoming isolated from everyone in it; my depression was getting worse, I felt like my soul was bleeding out of me. Well, I can tell you one thing, I will not go back to that darkness.

I still have to work on my issues with trust and fear of rejection, but I feel if I continue to accept myself, it will get better. Funny thing is, my best friend's brother is gay and I know that he loves his brother. Yet he still uses words like "fairy" and "pillow-biter". I always correct him and tell him that the correct term is gay, he continues to use those terms though. That kind of stuff keeps me from even being honest with him and has created distance between us. In many ways, he's closer to me than my brothers and it is painful to think of him using those words to describe me.

I think the next step for me is making some LBGT friends, I have to look into what the best way to do that is.

Thank you all again for your support and allowing me the opportunity to share.

[Evan88]

Hi Hugo, welcome to gayspeak!

[princealbertofb]

Thank you all for your advice and your kind words. Everything you have said really resonates with me.
I have to say, the first few days, after coming out to myself were somewhat difficult. I felt very vulnerable, but also somewhat hopeful. Today I feel more confident and I'm excited of the possibilities of a long term relationship. I guess you can say I feel lighter and more willing to connect with others.
My denial was closing me off from the world and I was becoming isolated from everyone in it; my depression was getting worse, I felt like my soul was bleeding out of me. Well, I can tell you one thing, I will not go back to that darkness.

I still have to work on my issues with trust and fear of rejection, but I feel if I continue to accept myself, it will get better. Funny thing is, my best friend's brother is gay and I know that he loves his brother. Yet he still uses words like "fairy" and "pillow-biter". I always correct him and tell him that the correct term is gay, he continues to use those terms though. That kind of stuff keeps me from even being honest with him and has created distance between us. In many ways, he's closer to me than my brothers and it is painful to think of him using those words to describe me.

I think the next step for me is making some LBGT friends, I have to look into what the best way to do that is.

Thank you all again for your support and allowing me the opportunity to share.

Fight fire with fire, Hugo? Find a name in the derogatory vein of Pillow Biter to call him and his kind of sex.. Breeder is not a particularly nice word (with its connotations), but something a bit more like Pillow Biter would be good to find. I can't think of one for the moment... Maybe we could launch a name calling competition? Ha.

For one thing, if you've never been in a Pillow Biting situation, there's no way that can apply to you... Then, if sex is done with loving and care, the pillow biting is just fantasy because you'd be more gasping from pleasure than fighting back the pain of penetration. It can be truly pleasurable, not the slightest bit a pillow biting experience. This is just fantasy of the sado masochistic type.

Anwyay, thanks for telling us you feel better and you won't be going back to that dark place of depression. You deserve something better in life. So go out there and take it!
Take care.