>>>>>>>>weekend venting<<<<<<<<

[Chuck92]

So my male counterpart that i've been seeing for the last month or so... has basically ignored that i need his attention also, and doesn't try to come see me.. nor when im in town can he get away.... so this past weekend, he planned on coming down to see me right!! I was excited... waited all day for him to show up... but nothing... not even a call, text or IM saying that he wasn't coming down...... until about 3 am.... really..... what a nice wake up call... So after said events... i've been sitting at home, debating on whether or not to keep this relationship going, when really its not going anywhere between us... He is a Glorified Closet Case, that captured my heart and now i've gotta break it off because i'm not gonna sit back and wait... when i could go find... someone else that is gonna take time to work out a possible relationship...and not be afraid of what the world thinks of him!!!!


Thanks for Listening to my Venting.... Kinda Feels good to scream in words!!!!!

Chuck

[Geminize]

Ouch. Sorry to read that, Chuck. It sounds like your buddy is struggling with what he wants. You have the option of giving him space to sort it out, being there for him in his own timing, or looking for someone else who is ready for a relationship now. Either choice might work out great, but you sound like you don't want to be the one to help your current friend out of the closet. There's nothing wrong with that, you're in a different place emotionally.

It's a bummer he didn't man up and call you sooner, even just to let you know he was feeling unsure about what to do. No one likes to be treated that way. I'd let him know how you felt about the weekend and what he did, and that you want a relationship with a guy who's gonna show up. Maybe he just needs a nudge to be that guy, but if he's stuck it may be time for you to make a different choice.

[princealbertofb]

Hello Chuck, I'm sorry your relationship doesn't seem to be working out. You are right. You are in a place where you are ready for something else, something more durable, more stable and ultimately more satisfying. Could you consider at least being friends with this old connexion, as I feel he might still need you quite a lot if he can't come out of the closet?

Actually, do you know why he can't come out of the closet? Is there anything you could do to help him on his way? Maybe he's happy living the lie and the double life (I'm assuming there is a double life), but soon enough, he'll find that it's no longer workable. Bad timing if, by the time he's ready, you've moved on.

I hope you find someone who can give you the sort of attention everyone needs in their lives. You and I know that we can deal with not being constantly together, but it's his insecurity that is now gnawing at your own fabric and I think you need to stay firm. It might be difficult finding the right words to tell him it's over, but you probably owe it to yourself, for your peace of mind and self esteem, not to be dragged any longer into the dark place that is this other man's closet.

Tell him a piece of your mind, tell him where you are now in your head, and heart, and see if he can understand that he is putting your life on hold and barring your progress towards happiness.
Good luck with the talk. And here's a for you, as I'm sure you could do with one.

[Rainbowmum]

Hi Chuck.
He owes you an explanation that's for sure.
I am sorry he has hurt you.

If I were you I would be asking him for an explanation and give him a chance to talk this out.
Naturally the decisions of continuing the relationship is up to both of you.
If there is nothing more than sexual gratification between you , then by all means move on.

[Chuck92]

Thanks Mom.... Means a lot... He's explained himself better.... we've been talking all day... trying to sort things out... we are gonna take a break and try to talk the situation out... but i dont think we'll be back together anytime soon!!!

We both have mutual feelings for each other its just a tough situation right now!!

[Counselor]

So, if he's still in the closet, his usual social circle isn't aware of you, right? So this relationship was bound to be "when available" anyway.
Myself, I wouldn't date someone in the closet, the potential drama has no appeal for me, but I would understand, if I was dating someone closeted, that he would still have to keep up appearances within his familiar social circles, which would leave me on the fringe, when he has time.

[BobInTampa]

Um, can you tell us why you waited ALL day and night and DIDN'T CALL HIM YOURSELF?

This is first and foremost, an issue of COMMON COURTESY! He didn't respect you enough to contact you when he KNEW he was going to be late - that's a sign of disrespect and it will NOT change unless it's addressed directly. This is a HARD LIMIT for me - and has been for a LONG time with ALL my friends. You get ONE pass - then we're DONE!

You tell him that you feel totally disrespected and that is a character flaw you cannot and will not accept again. No matter the "reason" he gave, it takes a matter of minutes to call or text you if somethign came up that was going to delay him. Again, common courtesy.


DRAW A CLEAR LINE. Then let it go.