12-05-2012, 09:30 PM
If you ask me, more gay men are moving toward monogamous relationships then before. It has to do with social acceptability.
Its a complicated issue for gay men. Before gay men could even thing about gay marriage, most just sort of hooked up and decided they were going to be a couple. Some gay men saw this as trying to fit gay culture into straight culture and rejected that notion. I think that is where a lot of these open relationship couples come from.
But the AIDS crisis of the 80s really scared people and I think that sort of swung the pendulum back into committed relationships. As gay marriage has become more social acceptable, so has its expectations, monogamy etc. Gay men are becoming more like mainstream America. Just like its now ok for straight men and women to hang out at gay bars in large numbers. Or gay men ok to dance together in a straight club.
Say what you want but I think its a good thing. Gay men dont have to hide out in the truck stop or bushes in a dangerous park anymore. Relationships can be real and committed instead of assumption that gay men have to have gay sex outside a relationship or they will just die attitude. We make that excuse for men in straight relationships. None of the girls I know who are married think its cool if their man goes outside of the relationship for sex. Very few heterosexuals actually do this or would admit to having an open relationship. Of course there are some, but very few.
There is no social norm for gay men to be married. So if you want to play around all your life and be single, there is no one pushing you to stop. But as far as relationships go that's changing. Like I said, as gay marriage becomes more socially acceptable, so will the expatiation that our society holds in time will be projected onto it.
I have to say I sort of agree with the way its going. About half the gay couples I know are in open relationships. Most have failed and of the ones that are still together, they just come across as desperate and tacky. They are always on the hunt for their next sexual adventure instead of developing solid relationships with friends.
Its a complicated issue for gay men. Before gay men could even thing about gay marriage, most just sort of hooked up and decided they were going to be a couple. Some gay men saw this as trying to fit gay culture into straight culture and rejected that notion. I think that is where a lot of these open relationship couples come from.
But the AIDS crisis of the 80s really scared people and I think that sort of swung the pendulum back into committed relationships. As gay marriage has become more social acceptable, so has its expectations, monogamy etc. Gay men are becoming more like mainstream America. Just like its now ok for straight men and women to hang out at gay bars in large numbers. Or gay men ok to dance together in a straight club.
Say what you want but I think its a good thing. Gay men dont have to hide out in the truck stop or bushes in a dangerous park anymore. Relationships can be real and committed instead of assumption that gay men have to have gay sex outside a relationship or they will just die attitude. We make that excuse for men in straight relationships. None of the girls I know who are married think its cool if their man goes outside of the relationship for sex. Very few heterosexuals actually do this or would admit to having an open relationship. Of course there are some, but very few.
There is no social norm for gay men to be married. So if you want to play around all your life and be single, there is no one pushing you to stop. But as far as relationships go that's changing. Like I said, as gay marriage becomes more socially acceptable, so will the expatiation that our society holds in time will be projected onto it.
I have to say I sort of agree with the way its going. About half the gay couples I know are in open relationships. Most have failed and of the ones that are still together, they just come across as desperate and tacky. They are always on the hunt for their next sexual adventure instead of developing solid relationships with friends.
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