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Drink coffee and a lot of energy drinks.

My desk is dirty.
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"Entertain" a guy on it Wink

I have a craving for white chocolate, but only 5 minutes left on my lunch break.
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don't clock back in....just go to the store

my eyes have been itchy all day
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Throw some pepper in your eyes, that'll help.

I have forgotten to turn the iron off
Reply

use it to fry an egg

I don't have to work today
Reply

Work anyway, in fact, work all the time!

I need to do the hoovering, but cannot find the motivation
Reply

Why bother hoovering? Or cleaning for that matter? it gives the place character

How can I find the hospital?
Reply

Head to the nearest roundabout and keep going round it.

I'm feeling tired
Reply

lie down on a float atop the pool

im craving something salty and crunchy
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Do not buy and eat salted peanuts, crisps or anything else salty and crunchy. Instead, drink Coke.

I've spilt brown sauce down my tie, and I need to go back down to the shopfloor soon
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