Should I be doing this?

[Rfalcon]

Hello guys!

I have so many questions that need answers. In my circles I don't seem to believe their opinion isn't bias so I thought I'd bring my problems to a new place. For starters I have been in the same relationship for two years. I love this man with all my heart and then some. I have moved hours away from my home just to be with him. I even quit a job I loved dearly so that I could be with him. With that said I have a problem.. I tend to be a pushover. He has now officially cheated on me three times. What's worse is that those three are the only ones I know. I stay because I know and see who he is on the inside and can see he just has some growing up to do. For some reason he is the first to truly capture my heart and I feel lost without him. I know he really loves me but he cannot control himself. Am I an idiot for sticking around, hoping for the best? On top of the cheating he's the most insensitive person out there. I have to beg him for even a hug goodnight.Recently my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (which was over a year ago) and he has never bothered to ask how is she or how am I. I didn't come here to just have people bash on him for being a jerk. I am really curious if I am that blinded by love and wonder what someone else would do in such a predicament.

[Counselor]

You call him insensitive and a cheater, but claim you can see who he is inside, but why aren't you looking at what he shows you?

[Rfalcon]

What I see on the inside is a sweet caring guy. He just can't find himself to show it in any way shape or form. There has been nothing that he has done to win me over. It was truly a love at first sight ordeal. What he shows is just constant negativity. I cant figure out why I still choose to stick around and just... Well hurt.

[Buffylo]

Seems to me youre imagining this inner him that just isnt there. Cheating is not a maturity issue, its an faithfulness issue. Being cold and having to fight for a hug goodnight shows lack of reciprocation in the love. Not caring about you or your dying mother shows lack of empathy towards you. Im going to make a few guesses here....


Im guessing your friends are saying the same stuff I am, and thats not what you want to here. You arent here looking for answers or advice; youre looking for validation. You want to be told "you can fix him, it just takes time" and "im sure he just has a hard time showing that he loves you". Well, Im not here to coddle.

Based on what youve given us, id say thats what it is, cut and dry. Until you can be honest with yourself (cheating THREE TIMES?!? come on wake the hell up) you are going to be doing nothing but inflicting pain upon yourself. There are several billion people on this earth, and a bunch a helluva lot better than this trash.


Not being mean, being honest. Sorry if it hurts.

[ManicReptile21]

Well I personally think you've made a TERRIBLE mistake sticking around with the guy after the FIRST time he cheated on you. Nevertheless the NEXT TWO TIMES that he cheated on you and on TOP of that IMMORAL AND UNFORGIVABLE CRIME YOU HAVE TO BEG HIM FOR A HUG?!?!?!?!

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!"

If he has yet to bring out this "sweet caring guy" after your TWO YEARS IN A RELATIONSHIP. YOU MUST BE DREAMING THINKING ITS GONNA COME OUT NOW. DROP THE ACT AND DISPOSE OF HIM. YOU DESERVE SOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN A PIECE OF TRASH LIKE HIM. HE IS A FILTHY INCONSIDERATE RUDE AND IMMORAL MAN.

If you've reached the point where you have to come to a forum to ask our opinions; even after all this guy has done to you, you are severely blinded by love. Dump his ass, get a new boyfriend and start from scratch. You'd probably accomplish more in two weeks of meeting a new guy than what you've accomplished in 2 years with this FAILURE EXCUSE of a boyfriend you have right now.

You deserve better so FIX IT.

[Rfalcon]

Thank you guys. None of your responses are offensive. I asked for them, no many how much I wish to not believe.

It's just I feel I can't be the only one to have loved someone so much. There has never been someone I've cared about more. Every time I get the guys to leave he apologizes, sometimes even lets a tear slip, and begs me to stay..it sees me right back in.

I mean is there something I am missing? I know I sound like an idiot guys. Sorry about that.

I appreciate your opinions though guys.

[Buffylo]

Sounds like crocodile tears. He knows he can manipulate you and youre letting it happen. Get out of the relationship before you become a statistic.

[Pix]

I mean is there something I am missing?

Sounds to me like you're missing self-respect.

Sorry if that's harsh, but I really believe that, and you did ask.

[Counselor]

And "love at first sight"? I've been under the fool idea that love is a two-way street, dude. Like, with reciprocation and junk.

Edit: in case you haven't noticed, honesty isn't something most of us flinch over.

[Miles]

Get away from this guy at the first opportunity. He does not love you and he does not deserve your love.