01-24-2013, 06:54 PM
Quote:Today my patience was tested. It takes alot to test it.
I think you are not being altogether honest there Lewis. I suggest you look over a few of your posts here on GS.
A lot of things test your patience... I think you are not fully aware of that and maybe if you were you would start seeing some patterns and actually start addressing how stuff makes you feel.
With the situation on the bus... yes I have been there and have seen the ugly.
I have been in a near similar situation where a couple of Spanish speakers switched to Spanish in order to make fun of a person. Now my on board Spanish Dictionary isn't that large, and I pretty much mangle any language I try to speak, but I do know how to say besa me culo very, very well, an clearly.
It tends to surprise my Spanish speaking 'co-riders' as they assume that the white boy has no idea what they are saying. So such from me not only carries the sting that their behaviors are not all that good, it also lets them know that their 'secret fun' isn't really that big of a Secret.
I think in this case you lost your patience because you were not only not amused by their treatment, but also saddened/horrified by your own sense of having no power.
I think you would feel better (not not all that great, but better) if you could manage to take back some power in these cases.
Yes you could have offered the seat - regardless of the persons gender, the fact remains you are young and healthy and able to stand.. this person was older than you and that alone is what counts.
You make a difference, and I seriously doubt she would have seen it as a bad thing.
Yes you could have just dropped an f-bomb in Spanish or whatever to convey your resentment/anger at what these people were saying.
Trust me, if you don't take a stand somewhere and publicly display your annoyance in some small way, you won't ever feel better about these sorts of situations.
A single muttered 'bullshit' has far much more impact than a heroic speech of 'I'm queer, I'm hear and all of this stuff you are saying/doing is wrong'.
You are young, and undoubtedly uncertain as to what to expect in retaliation. More often than not these sorts who talk a good talk are in truth cowards and won't retaliate when called on their B.S.
Young, dumb males are the most dangerous of the breed and they do tend to get violent so I won't suggest you start tackling that kind until you take a few self defense training classes.
That last is actually a strong suggestion. You appear to live in a neighborhood with very low tolerance. I think that may make you a bit more fearful and understandably more reluctant to take a stand.
If you knew how to protect yourself from physical confrontation, perhaps you would better be able to voice your mind and regain some control/power back when these ass-hats take it away.
BTW, most of the stuff you have issues with are good things. Seriously, you are decent kid with outstanding qualities. You are allowed to lose patience with bad behaviors and evil people. Good doesn't mean not angry at justifiably angering stuff.