My son.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Thank you everybody, I have a lot to think about.

As long as my son and his partner is happy, then we can work through the other stuff.

Yes eventually it all works out. Maybe not for the better all the time, but even then its for a reason. Keep faith and know that no matter what happens, people can come away from a situation being stronger, better, wiser and lots of other good things.

Reading about what your husband thinks gay is... I fear he is a victim of the programing of society for at least a generation.

As a 'straight acting' gay man myself, one who has not a single promiscuous bone in my body, I do find it embarrassing that people assume that because I'm gay that I must act 'gay-ish' or that I have had sex with 100's of others.

I learned over time that the common stereotypes are slung around as facts, when they are largely myths. Its real hard to break these 'commonly held 'facts'' even if you live the straight and narrow type life.

Eventually your husband will learn his son isn't like that. I just hope its not after he has broken the relationship between son and self.

I do hope you find a local Pflag chapter and meet up and make friends with other parents in your place so you can have support to deal with the emotional blow back that will come if your husband and other son have strong issues with your other son.

Just remember to keep breathing. It will work out.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Lots of things you can do to be more accepting of the situation and show him that he's still your son no matter what, and that you love and care about him.

I always remember the first time my partner stayed over at my parents house. Mum set up separate beds! We laughed so much about that (and snuggled into a single bed!) So to avoid those sort of moments, discuss in advance with your husband so there is no embarrassing discussion beforehand (yes, he will want a double bed)

Christmas cards - don't forget to include his partner, and of course you can now get "Son and Partner" type cards these days.

Christmas dinners/birthday parties/family gatherings - make sure both are invited.

You don't say where he is moving to, but if its somewhere nice, make sure you visit :-)

Otherwise it sounds like your doing fine :-)

ObW
x

[James]

I am constantly trying to get my husband to understand my son. But he is of the generation that see's homosexuals as promiscuous, dirty and overly feminine people.
Hello and welcome concerned Mum, first let my say what an amazing job you have already done raising your son, the quote I have above is to show we actually are all differant, I was with 5th special forces, macvsog in nam, did 3 tours of duty out in the bush, 356 jumps to my name, 3 of which were halo jumps. So just saying, it would be a boring world if we were all the same.
As a post note I guess I was pretty dirty after 18 days in the jungle, Jim

[concernedMum]

Thank you all for the support you have show
Thank you again.

[LateBloomer]

Thanks for the update.

Sorry to hear about the troubles, but maybe they can patch things up.

Moves can be very stressful, especially in the early stages of a relationship, making things quite volatile. I know this from personal experience. We were able to pull our relationship back from the brink of failure, but it takes effort on both parts (obviously).

Wishing for the best.

[zeon]

No problem i am glad we were able to help and keep a note of the forum because to begin with growing up as a gay teenager into a young adult is the most difficult tricky thing that can happen and if you anyone you know or your son need any advice or help then please feel; free to come back as we are open 24/7 as a community and an answer is never far away... We are quicker than a corporation at giving an answer that shows how good we are hehe

[concernedMum]

Thank you Zeon, you are so kind.

[princealbertofb]

My biggest fear, is he is giving up his home, his job, his friends and family, and moving to a country he doesn't know.

My husband will never fully accept my son as being gay, I am worried this will be the end for us, as a family.

From what I understand, Concerned Mum (and by the way, to GaySpeak), your husband is NOT the father of your gay son. Is that right? Maybe it's not so much the gay issue that he's not comfortable with but the fact that he's (maybe) not your son's father? Or am I wrong?

[Franco]

hey youre a super mom! i bet all gay kids out there wish they have a supportive mum like you.
so yeah your son, you see him traveling and meeting the other guy is just like in any other case. He will have to find out if the guy is good for him, and if he decides to stay in the other country well hes a adult and you have to accept that. Regarding your husband and other son i know how hard it must get but if they love him eventually theyre gonna accept him, sometimes i guess it takes time