how to tell if guys like guys?

[pellaz]

... he is at work also, not that that matters ...

yes it does matter, stay away from this.

[hank]

yes it does matter, stay away from this.

please elaborate

[Bowyn Aerrow]

please elaborate

I think Pellaz is saying that no matter his preference, being picked up on the job is bad for that business persona of his.

How would you feel if someone came up to you and started flirting and trying to pick you up in front of your boss?

Does your boss even know you are bi?

Most likely no, and you would be very unwilling to demonstrate you swing that way and not appreciative of someone trying to pick you up at work.

A freindly conversation is ok. A suggestion down the road to go out for a couple beers is ok. Trying to find out his interests isn't good, and even if he is gay or bi he may flatly deny it at work.

Its an unsafe world for LGBT, we often hide who we are in order to survive things like keep a job come before meeting our mate.

[hank]

I think Pellaz is saying that no matter his preference, being picked up on the job is bad for that business persona of his.

How would you feel if someone came up to you and started flirting and trying to pick you up in front of your boss?

Does your boss even know you are bi?

Most likely no, and you would be very unwilling to demonstrate you swing that way and not appreciative of someone trying to pick you up at work.

A freindly conversation is ok. A suggestion down the road to go out for a couple beers is ok. Trying to find out his interests isn't good, and even if he is gay or bi he may flatly deny it at work.

Its an unsafe world for LGBT, we often hide who we are in order to survive things like keep a job come before meeting our mate.

This is exactly my conundrum. I don't want to embarrass him, or myself, I have never pursued a guy mainly out of fear of just such exposure. her works in a truck stop so I am sure he is under the same pressure.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

This is exactly my conundrum. I don't want to embarrass him, or myself, I have never pursued a guy mainly out of fear of just such exposure. her works in a truck stop so I am sure he is under the same pressure.

YOU are making this much harder than it needs to be.

Why? because you are thinking in terms of making a relationship/love connection. Stop thinking that way. Think in terms of 'I would like this guy to be a friend'

No need to talk sex or relationship or find out if he is gay/bi/straight. Just a friendly 'how-do' - jawbone about the weather or long horn steer or how no one Messes with Texas or whatever stuff Texans talk about.

Well maybe not the weather, its my understanding that tall guys get sick and tired of being asked 'hows the weather up there'. I guess basketball is also out of the line up for topics.

Surely there is some topic, some innocent topic you two can talk about to strike up a friendship FIRST. He works on trucks? Ask him some mechanic question or something.

Your going to want to be friends with whoever you end up with. So start off aiming for that.

No you won't go from 'how-do' to beers that night. Well maybe not. So spend a few days or weeks just being friendly and work up to beers at the local bar.

Aim to be a friend to him. That is socially acceptable even at your job, well unless you are a Tax collector, then the law is everyone has to hate you.

[Beau]

I agree with Bowyn. Also to hell with social blah blah in the workplace. If you like the guy and don't do anything it's going to eat you up inside. Don't let the doubt monster take over. Start talking to him and see if he has similar interests at least. Don't worry about a date until you know him better.

[Buffylo]

Just a friendly 'how-do' - jawbone about the weather or long horn steer or how no one Messes with Texas or whatever stuff Texans talk about.

Sorry but this made me laugh heartily... I may have woken the neighbors. lol

[hank]

I think I will try the friends thing at first. Wear him down. Ha ha.

[Nick9]

Bowyn, if I gave you a thanks for every chuckle and nod your posts here caused, there would be a LOT of them mile:

[Lalo]

I concur with Bowyn... very sound advice.