Does having a gay sibling helps?

[oiramittedeneb]

I have a brother who´s gay and who already told my parents about it, and to make a long story short, right now my parents behave like if he never said anything. I don´t plan to come out or anything at the moment, but I´ll like to hear (read) if you think if having a gay sibling helps in the whole “coming out” process?

[bakalove]

does your sibling know your bi?

[Corsac]

I'm not too sure if it really does make things easier as a whole, its very situational depending on how the parents are.

I worked with a bi guy who wasnt out to his parents at all where as they've always known his younger brother is gay. He won't ever come out to his parents, his brother is camp (basically fits most of the stereotypes) and he doesn't want the assumption from his parents that he acts the same. I liked the guy and we went on a couple of dates but I backed off because he thought that I would be something that his parents would never need to know about.

[Lalo]

Made things a LOT easier for me. My sister came out to my ultra-conservative, ultra-Catholic parents years before I did. By the time I came out, my parents had had to rethink their beliefs. My father prided himself on being an intellectual. He was the first and only one in his family to go to college. When my sister came out, he took it upon himself to study the science of homosexuality. This helped him to make sense of it. My mom followed his lead. My sister went through hell though during this period and was kicked out of the family and we didn't talk to her for years. When I came out later, it was no big thing.

[quixote87]

I think it just depends on you and your support system. I have 3 brothers all 100% straight and married with kids and all have varying degrees of support for the gay community. But I had little to no issue coming out to them or bringing my fiance around them. If I had a more conservative family I would probably have kept in the closet a bit longer, but having a sibling that I could talk to with the same stresses of having to deal with an "unacceptable" sexuality would help me.

[Vaylen]

It can go both ways. Either they will be more accepting because this has already happened before or they will be frustrated because both of their children turned out to be "not straight". Though given some time, I presume that the first option there will hold true. They have accepted one gay person in the family, it's not like you coming out as bi will be "one queer too much".

Of course, I don't know how your parents think or what their ideals are. But if they can accept the fact that one of their sons is gay, the other being bi shouldn't be a problem. At least not in my opinion.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It went the other way for me. My brother 'exploded' out of the closet and that lead to his being kicked out of the house immediately there after.

I recall the loathing and anger my mother and her husband expressed at his being 'sick' and 'perverted'. As such if I was anywhere near coming out myself I was driven to the far back dark corners of my closet and didn't even start facing homosexuality as a possibility for me until 23/24.

My brother also went from being a school jock (he played football, was a 'tough guy' a regular dude to being a full on Nelly Queen, adopting the mannerisms and limp wrist and lisp. This drove the idea home in me that in order to be gay I had to "act gay" which didn't set well with my personality.

For me the experience was a negative one. Most people who I have known who had a sibling come out before them have tended to find strength and courage from the event. Many of whom appear to have built a stronger relationship with that sibling than with 'straight' siblings in the cases where there are more than two siblings. The common frame of reference appears to knit them closer.

[oiramittedeneb]

does your sibling know your bi?

No, my brother doesn’t know I’m gay.

He told my parents he was gay six months before moving with me (because the university is in the city I live in), so I had to calm my parent’s concerns and convince them that I was going to take good care of him and the issue, otherwise he would have had to stay with them and not attend the university of his choice. Implicitly, I am the one who has to understand the gay-thing, and I assume they expect me to articulate whatever conflict arises on the mater. Today they basically behave like if my brother never told them anything.

mm… now that I think about it, I don’t suppose it helps in my case to have a gay brother since my parents did not seem to grow any kind of awareness on the subject ._.

[Rainbowmum]

Just to be on the safe side ,I would give your parents some time.
After all from reading your post , they are still in denial with your brother.

As others have said it can go either way.

[Pix]

I recall the loathing and anger my mother and her husband expressed at his being 'sick' and 'perverted'.

Wasn't your mom like a freaky witch into demons herself? If so then I'm curious what the problem would be, I'd think they'd love producing a son blasphemous to God and/or the "Natural Order."

Granted, my knowledge of those who mix demons with magic is minimal (but I know the Thelemites seem accepting of alternative sexualities, though I'm a bit confused on their theology and beliefs, trying to spiritually evolve while messing with demons "like Solomon" IIRC), but even if they were against that, then wouldn't they call it "weak" or something? From what little I've read & heard those into demons tend to get pretty messy, including with the sex (though I suppose it's possible that such is more initiatory to prevent people from speaking about their cult as they'd never want to admit to the things they did, which means they want them to be ashamed of it...and might freak if someone wanted to make a habit of it). I'm curious what their philosophy is on sexuality, are they Puritans at heart (hmm, Puritans and demonically controlled being pretty much alike somehow DOES make sense...) or what? :confused: