Lately I'm becoming increasingly more and more annoyed with homosexual kidding around.:mad: Should I be?
Examples would be my co-workers motioning limp wrists and talking with a heavy lisp.
Me having an oil line in one hand and another one says " is that an oil line, or are you just impressed to see me, or the last one where I've got a flashlight in my mouth cause my hands are full and my other co-worker imitates a blow job.
Obviously I haven't told my boss or co-worker that I'm gay, and this would probably put a stop to all this joking around. I would tell them but I'm not sure how it would go down considering that they're both born again christians.
The icing on the cake for me would be the quote where one co-worker asked me about an old friend and I'd said that he's engaged to be married (straight) His reply was "Wow, and all this time I thought he was gay" My response was basically Why's that? To which his response was "Cause he was single forever!" My silent response being that I've been single for just as long was "What the fuck am I, chopped liver?
Sorry for the rant but I really needed to vent.
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As for me, gay jokes don't bother me unless it's obvious that they were intended to offend or degrade. If you feel like that's what they're after then you might want to ask them to stop. However, a lot of the time, the people who joke about it don't mean anything with it. I have a friend who's been very supportive to me ever since I came out but he sometimes delivers pretty "strong" gay jokes - he knows I'm not offended and he has a "you should be able to joke about anything" attitude towards life.
If you're offended though you need to ask them to stop. That's really the only way to "deal" with it unless you choose to just tolerate it.
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This doesn't sound like 'joking' this sounds more like bashing/homophobia.
Since they are Born Again, I think the best weapon I can give you to deal with this is to openly and innocently ask 'Would Jesus do that?'.
Variations on that theme would be 'What would Jesus say to that?' 'I doubt Jesus would find that funny.'
As for the marriage/no dating thing - tell them that you are waiting for the right partner and you don't believe Jesus would be too happy with your 'dating' everything that moves.
Shame them, gently - remind them that they have to live up to higher standards, that they have to be Christ-like if they are born again and none of these behaviors of theirs are things Jesus would do.
They will fight you if you dare to suggest that gays are people to, but there is nothing they can say if you point out that Jesus wouldn't do those sorts of things.
Unless they want to expose themselves for being less than Christian.
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I usually don´t get that kind of jokes. All my friends consider me a right-wing bigot, so you might guess what type of gay-jokes I get. Still, I wouldn´t mind that sort of things unless I felt they were intended as insults. I might get annoyed, but not because they were gay-jokes. If you´re getting irritated you might as well just tell them to lower the tone. I mean, if they don´t know you´re gay, I doubt they´re doing it to offend you, or do you think they are?
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they don't seem to give a fuck about how uncomfortable this makes you feel, why should you give a fuck that they are 'pretend' christians?
This is where I hate religion...you can act like an arsehole all day long, because at the end of the day you get to be forgiven like a good christian.
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Write an anonymous letter to the highest official authority in you company, that is local to you.
Explain to them what is being said and how highly degrading and offensive these UNchristian comments are.
You dont need to name names or anything, but be as concise as possible without naming names.
Be sure and use words like "harassment", "degrading", "bigotry", "unprofessional", and "offensive".
Sign it "Offended Employee".
If this doesnt work, then the next letter goes to HIS boss. If that letter doesnt work, then the next one goes higher up to HIS boss....until it stops or you get to the CEO.
Give them 30 business days to see if anything happens, before you send off the next letter.
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dfiant Wrote:they don't seem to give a fuck about how uncomfortable this makes you feel, why should you give a fuck that they are 'pretend' christians?
This is where I hate religion...you can act like an arsehole all day long, because at the end of the day you get to be forgiven like a good christian.
These types are called "Sunday Christians", as they ONLY act christian on Sundays.
The rest of the week they are lieing, backstabbing, bigoted, prejudiced, hate-mongers.
I should know, my "mother" was one.
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MisterTinkles Wrote:Write an anonymous letter to the highest official authority in you company, that is local to you.
Explain to them what is being said and how highly degrading and offensive these UNchristian comments are.
You dont need to name names or anything, but be as concise as possible without naming names.
Be sure and use words like "harassment", "degrading", "bigotry", "unprofessional", and "offensive".
Sign it "Offended Employee".
I don´t think this is appropriate. I´m not sure what kind of job Sport77 has, but surely there must be a Human Resources office, or similar.
If you (Sport77) consider that personally confronting them won’t do much I guess is valid to complain, but it would be very unprofessional to go directly to the boss (if there´s a structure). And if you do decide to send a letter, I would personally restrain from using words like “bigot”.
I believe that is better if you just told them that you feel uncomfortable or offended by the way they behave at work (regardless if they are Christians or not, as we should not assume someone else’s perspective based on stereotypes… as I believe is the problem). Have in mind also that people joke, everyone does, and some people have a more rough and/or vulgar sense of humor and maybe you´re just not the type of person that feels comfortable in that environment, but it does not necessarily mean that it is homophobia or that they are harassing you.
Just keep it professional.
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Don't let it get to you, your co-workers have no idea that you're gay and its pretty much a popular thing to relate as much as possible to someone being gay whether its for laughs or not.
Personally they don't bother me unless the person telling them has intended for them to offend me which hasn't happened in the time that I've been out.
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While some can be annoying, most of little gay jokes i hear people telling eachother really don't bother me...i'll usually just kinda halfway laugh at them
(fact is I'm not out, so even if i found it offensive i wouldn't say anything. but if it was something they did all the time i might start trying to avoid contact with said individuals as much as possible though)
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