Dan1089 Wrote:Except it's not that easy.
Of course, sometimes you're right. Being a perverse kind of person I have generally found it more difficult to speak about difficult things to the people I care about the most. That has happened even when I have known that, in the longer term, the kindest thing would have been to be open with the truth. It's just not the way I feel comfortable doing things. I'm afraid I don't subscribe to the school of thought that goes, "I say what I think, that's just the way I am, take it or leave it". Too often, in my experience, people like that are not only hurtfully blunt, they are also plain rude.
What I discovered late in my life though, is that it is possible to say things that need to be said and to be able to have a civilised discussion. Fits of histrionics and of acting the wounded party don't really get one anywhere.
Contrary to what some may think, Albert and I do hold different opinions on some matters and I find that stimulating. We can both present and defend individual points of view without it having to end up as a competition with a winner and a loser. To be honest this is a relatively new experience for me and I have learned to be able to value myself more, because he values me too. He is the only person I have ever known who I feel deserves to know the truth of my opinions. It may not come any easier to me to open up, but I want to make the effort ... for him. That's not to say I come to him with a list of complaints about things I may imagine have caused me grief. The day to day worries that caused me huge anxiety in my previous relationship don't seem to matter any more, but he knows what I think is important and I feel I know what he values too.
That aside, one assumes you are thinking about your new man here, Dan? Either he's worth the effort spending time getting to understand him, or you think he's playing games with you. If the former, you have to trust that he will accept you and your worries sometime. That might as well be now, before feelings take root too deeply. If he's messing with your head you have to decide where you draw the line marking what you are prepared to tolerate. That's not to say you have to end the relationship if he doesn't meet your standards, but I personally think you are better off recognising it for what it is. That way, you don't pressure yourself to try and turn what might be just "fun" into something that ultimately proves to be unattainable.
If I've misread your subtext I apologise, but may I wish you well
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mile:
) ... it doesn't mean that I don't place more or less value on other thoughts, values and beliefs.
