does it go away?

[rmf]

Hi everyone read somewhere that after a relationship has been in place for a few years the sex just kind of stops... how much truth is there to this

[Rawr]

Depends on the couple. Some couples will keep at it until the end, some don't.

I read in the paper the other day (I know, not the best accurate resource) that an 80 yr old guy was telling his 79 year old wife that if she didn't satisfy to his demand he'd find it somewhere else. It was the wife who was writing into one of those columns for advice. If it's true or not, I don't know. But I'm pretty sure there will be a couple out there like that.

[homohooter]

Well rmf as you know in my experience it went away rather quickly but I think my situations is somehow different.

I know couples who have been together for 20 years and still have a sexual relationship. Not quite a 20 year olds sex life but still existant.

How long have you been together with your guy if you dont mind me asking?

[pellaz]

... How long have you been together with your guy if you dont mind me asking?

you have been your self for 20+years, how does it feel; you and your self?
Same deal.

[MisterTinkles]

Depends on the people involved, whether they become "too comfortable" with each other, take each other for granted, or just stop caring.

There are lots of couples who find compromises when things calm down. Such as setting aside a "date night" once a week or once a month. They go out, see a movie, have dinner, go dancing...or whatever, and make a who date out of it.

If you are a busy couple, then you might want to set aside a specific time during the week or weekend to be with each other.

Maybe go out of town for a weekend. Lots of hotels have special weekend couples rates.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

There are stages to love, the hot passionate stage is first, that is where most couples have the most sex - near daily, or multiple times a day gives way to the realities of life.

Stresses from day to day, tight schedules, work, school, children, bills - all of these other things get in the way and end up stealing the couple's energy and desire for sex.

Couples therapists suggest lots of different ways to jump start intimacy and romance, from watching porn together (not every day, once a week), role playing, and that sort of stuff, to dealing with stressors in life, setting aside the time and energy points for the couple to have the time and energy to have sex.

I assume you both are working on careers/school something along those lines. There is also the bills and expenses of day to day living you need to work on first.

These can be set aside to what degree? This answer you need for yourself.

The couple need to carve out time blocks out of their work and life schedule. If you are the couple that ends up going out to the bars every weekend, then you all need to decide to stay at home and spark romance.

If you are the couple that watches DVD's every Saturday night then one of you need to slip a porn video into the player instead of the newest block-buster.

If you are the couple where both of you are off doing your own thing every weekend - then you have to figure out how to get together.

A lot of people seem to pick career over love, they place more importance on the money than the honey and end up being well off but alone (even in a marriage they are bitterly alone).

Many people assume that long love remains hot and passionate all the time. It doesn't. There are stages to love and as time works its magic that hot passionate "I must have you" love gives way to more sensible, deeper love. This isn't to say that romance and sex must die - it can be kept if both individuals work on it a little. It is the natural progression of love.

[Counselor]

The deed can be done if it's hard. (i don't mean difficult)

[Undreamt]

The biggest mood killer for a relationship is when you start comparing your relationship to other peoples.

If you are trying to define what you have against some arbitrary social 'norm' then your relationship is screwed.

I've been with my partner for almost 6.5 years we usually fool around every second day or so.
However there were times where we went weeks or months without doing anything. That was when i was so caught up in only doing things the way other people did and the topic didn't get raise or the mood wasn't quite right or timing was off or something got in the way.

[sheffield]

After few years the sex just doesn't "happen" like it does in the hot passionate first year. It needs discussions, work and attention... but all those things are so totally worth it.