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#1
hi guys. Confusedmile:

have you ever felt like you're thinking way too complicated for your age? like you're not enjoying life at its fullest because of your essentially reflexive nature? all my life i've been quite a rational person and tried to have a mature approach for everything i do, on a personal or a professional level. i also have my child-like side but usually the two are complementary. hey, i'm a gemini so we're expected to be all over the place! :biggrin: still i find my rationality is sometimes getting the better of me. i can't help but analyze everything and try to act in a way that is fair to everyone involved. this has led to some major moral and ethical questions along the way, that have always kept me from enjoying my happiness in its fullest. there is always a scale of values i tend to filter my experiences through. add this to the fact that i usually try to see things in perspective and from other people's perspectives, so i tend to be sincere and put myself out there from square one while respecting those around me. but from what i've noticed, life favours those who treat others like dirt; those who are flashy and cocky; they're the ones who will get the guy, who will be in the spotlight and steal the show, while the more mild-mannered will bask in the shadows. the dance floor belongs to the bold, that's a fact. truth is i've always admired people like that, at some point i'd have given anything to be like that. i am an optimist at heart but sometimes i can't help but feel down by the fact that some have happiness so easily but mine is always so elusive. this is not a self-pity post, i am much too fair for that. it's just a reflection on life in general. Confusedmile:

i know i will find what i'm looking for. so i don't worry completely. it's the getting there that's killing me. the pilgrimage if you will. both the fucked-up way my mind works in and the unfair way the world works in.

i think i should attempt something like the protagonist from martin page's book "how i became stupid" and just put my rationality in the background, not the foreground.

think a lobotomy will help? :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

i'm not sure what i expect the replies to be, or even if i expect replies. i think writing this down is the therapy itself. i'll do fine Confusedmile:

Bighug

t.
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#2
I don't think a lobotomy will be very helpful but I'm not a neurologist :tongue:

I understand what you feel, I can't impose myself at the detriment of others either, not because I'm overthinking it, but my education tells me it's really bad. I've grown up with the idea that embarassing or inconveniencing people was not a thing to do, and now I feel pretty bad when I know I've embarassed someone.
I really can't stand those who are willing to crush anybody in the way to succeed, and more so those who don't even realize their acts could hurt others.

I think this path may be longer but it leads to the success all the same Confusedmile:
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#3
You have no idea how old I feel to my actual age. I'm 22, but I feel like I'm in my 30's (my parents say I'm wise beyond my years...). I often forget that I'm the youngest person among my groups of friends.

I do feel that becaus of this mature attitude I have that I cannot subject myself to doing foolish or crazy things. Part is also due to the fact that I'm an introvert and seek self reflection than interactions with others.

I understand completely where you are coming from pocket. I try to make the best out of my situations, but I never feel truly satisfied or happy. In fact, I have to make a huge decision about my future in the coming days. It may bring me down a road of happiness, or a road of frustration and misery. The only thing I have to do is figure out which path I would rather take that is suitable for me. Not for my parents, professors, or friends, but my path. Hopefully happiness will be waiting at the end.
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#4
pocket pilgrim ,...

i think i can feel what u have said , i have much in common with that , in addition , sometimes i feel that unintentionally - but most of the time - i do study the life or intiute instead of living it , sometimes details with no importance except in the fields of anthropology or linguistic ..

this way of viewing the life and treating people may have some advantages, u gain the respect and be able to behave in the right way in some difficult situations , have a less feeling of guilt ... etc

u said { i usually try to see things in perspective and from other people's perspectives, so i tend to be sincere and put myself out there from square }
and this is my principle of morality when dealing with or treating other people ... BUT ... sometimes i feel i am consumed by frames and rules , and missing the ( real thing ) , i don't know how to describe it well but the best word i find is ( empty ) .
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#5
we should all have some sort of secret society, a club if you will.

with long talks and challenging exercises in enjoying the moment!

we can all wear a green carnation as a symbol Wink

i'll bring the popcorn.
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#6
pocket_pilgrim Wrote:we should all have some sort of secret society, a club if you will.

with long talks and challenging exercises in enjoying the moment!

we can all wear a green carnation as a symbol Wink

i'll bring the popcorn.


and i will bring one of my work colleagues with me , basically to help us change our behaviour to be more rude , but i am afraid that we may loose control and one of you guys shoot him .... Confusedmile:
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#7
Babe you almost sound like me when you write that - you TOTALLY need to add me to your MSN list ... xx

But for the time being, yes I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with you, and MANY is the time I feel exactly the same. I feel like I'm THOUSANDS of years old sometimes, although that's just me romanticising what it'd be like to be one of those fantastically old and wise wizards from the Lord of the Rings or similar *sigh* ...

And I too have this blessing and curse of being able to see virtually everything from multiple perspectives, which almost hampers me reaching a single judgment at times ?

So yep, I TOTALLY relate to what you're saying.

You're not alone Wink.

Cool.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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#8
pocket_pilgrim Wrote:... from what i've noticed, life favours those who treat others like dirt; those who are flashy and cocky; they're the ones who will get the guy, who will be in the spotlight and steal the show, while the more mild-mannered will bask in the shadows. the dance floor belongs to the bold, that's a fact ...
Isn't that why people invented god, so he could invent heaven where everyone who felt this way could feel smug about an assured place to which they could look forward to going after they'd died, (by which time it would be too late to realise they'd really missed the party), but which was SO convenient, because it allowed the flashy and cocky to become even more powerful and keep dishing out dirt?

Hang in there another 30 years or so and then see what state your mind is in Wink
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