02-19-2008, 12:24 PM
hi guys. mile:
have you ever felt like you're thinking way too complicated for your age? like you're not enjoying life at its fullest because of your essentially reflexive nature? all my life i've been quite a rational person and tried to have a mature approach for everything i do, on a personal or a professional level. i also have my child-like side but usually the two are complementary. hey, i'm a gemini so we're expected to be all over the place! :biggrin: still i find my rationality is sometimes getting the better of me. i can't help but analyze everything and try to act in a way that is fair to everyone involved. this has led to some major moral and ethical questions along the way, that have always kept me from enjoying my happiness in its fullest. there is always a scale of values i tend to filter my experiences through. add this to the fact that i usually try to see things in perspective and from other people's perspectives, so i tend to be sincere and put myself out there from square one while respecting those around me. but from what i've noticed, life favours those who treat others like dirt; those who are flashy and cocky; they're the ones who will get the guy, who will be in the spotlight and steal the show, while the more mild-mannered will bask in the shadows. the dance floor belongs to the bold, that's a fact. truth is i've always admired people like that, at some point i'd have given anything to be like that. i am an optimist at heart but sometimes i can't help but feel down by the fact that some have happiness so easily but mine is always so elusive. this is not a self-pity post, i am much too fair for that. it's just a reflection on life in general. mile:
i know i will find what i'm looking for. so i don't worry completely. it's the getting there that's killing me. the pilgrimage if you will. both the fucked-up way my mind works in and the unfair way the world works in.
i think i should attempt something like the protagonist from martin page's book "how i became stupid" and just put my rationality in the background, not the foreground.
think a lobotomy will help? :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
i'm not sure what i expect the replies to be, or even if i expect replies. i think writing this down is the therapy itself. i'll do fine mile:
t.
have you ever felt like you're thinking way too complicated for your age? like you're not enjoying life at its fullest because of your essentially reflexive nature? all my life i've been quite a rational person and tried to have a mature approach for everything i do, on a personal or a professional level. i also have my child-like side but usually the two are complementary. hey, i'm a gemini so we're expected to be all over the place! :biggrin: still i find my rationality is sometimes getting the better of me. i can't help but analyze everything and try to act in a way that is fair to everyone involved. this has led to some major moral and ethical questions along the way, that have always kept me from enjoying my happiness in its fullest. there is always a scale of values i tend to filter my experiences through. add this to the fact that i usually try to see things in perspective and from other people's perspectives, so i tend to be sincere and put myself out there from square one while respecting those around me. but from what i've noticed, life favours those who treat others like dirt; those who are flashy and cocky; they're the ones who will get the guy, who will be in the spotlight and steal the show, while the more mild-mannered will bask in the shadows. the dance floor belongs to the bold, that's a fact. truth is i've always admired people like that, at some point i'd have given anything to be like that. i am an optimist at heart but sometimes i can't help but feel down by the fact that some have happiness so easily but mine is always so elusive. this is not a self-pity post, i am much too fair for that. it's just a reflection on life in general. mile:
i know i will find what i'm looking for. so i don't worry completely. it's the getting there that's killing me. the pilgrimage if you will. both the fucked-up way my mind works in and the unfair way the world works in.
i think i should attempt something like the protagonist from martin page's book "how i became stupid" and just put my rationality in the background, not the foreground.
think a lobotomy will help? :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
i'm not sure what i expect the replies to be, or even if i expect replies. i think writing this down is the therapy itself. i'll do fine mile:
t.