Top Dating Another Top Who is Deciding Whether to Bottom...

[Xj900]

I've started dating someone recently who appears to be the perfect guy, and frankly one that I can see myself with long-term. The problem is that we are both tops. I told him a couple days ago that I could never flip for him for medical reasons. We've dated for two weeks and for the last two days since I told him this, he's been in 'deliberation' over whether or not he wants to continue seeing me. Two days and he's still deliberating and we haven't known each other long. But we sincerely have a strong connection (even without having been intimate). How should I read into the fact that he seems to be really toiling over this. So much so that I haven't gotten to see him or communicate much with him because he's gone into 'hiding' or something. I knw this is a big deal for any top who genuinely enjoys being a top, but does the fact he's thinking about it so much mean anything one way or the other?

[Udabar]

The fact that he is thinking about it on his own and not discussing it with you is a problem. Quite possibly in the motion of falling apart. If he is keeping you out in the dark then he possibly has already thought about moving on, You said it yourself, you haven't know each other long so this could mean that he is thinking there isn't much to lose. Talking it over with him would help both of you out in the long run and possibly end up breaking up and moving on, but remaining friends.

I wish you luck and hope the outcome is good.

[pellaz]

a discussion of top vs bottom puts gay relationships back in time.

[Varanus]

Regardless if you where to actually like this man to the extent you say you do, you would be prepared to offer a little on the side every now and again and suck it up...Why?..Because you love this man, pretty simple huh.
If my man was to say to me nah I'm a total top but I love you but i just cant bottom for you once a month or so it would be pack your bags jack seeya later.
Why am i saying this, because relationships are all about compromise it means doing things we don't always enjoy but we do it anyway to make our partner happy and satisfied too show them that we would do anything for them.
It means working through the bad to get to the good.
So stop being such a stuck up prick and compromise with him...It's that easy as in saying ok every X amount of days ill be willing to offer up my sweet taint.
Think long and hard as its not fair of you to expect your partner to suddenly do a massive switch meet half way god damn it.

[Udabar]

Now lets go over this one more time Varanus. Read it with me.

I told him a couple days ago that I could never flip for him for medical reasons.

That is a valid reason. I wont get into details and start asking what medical reasons, that is none of my business, but still a valid reason.

[Varanus]

Now lets go over this one more time Varanus. Read it with me.



That is a valid reason. I wont get into details and start asking what medical reasons, that is none of my business, but still a valid reason.

Regardless...I know more than 3 couples where one of the partners has IBS and yet still manages to get cleaned up long enough for sex.
Another couple one has cancer somewhere down there whether its bowel, colon or prostate ive forgotten yet he still flips for his partner once or twice a month.
Where there is a will there is a way...Then again this is just my point of view others don't think or behave like myself, maybe its just me and my group of friends who think like this.
What I'm trying to get across is the fact its not fair expecting one in a relationship to make all the sacrifices in a relationship and do a total switch while one reaps the rewards...Does that seem fair to you?

[Udabar]

Guarantee me I know this is nowhere near fair. I have been relationships, 3 out of 7 where I was the one being "raped" and having to put forth so much yet getting nothing in return, but there are times when you have to let one or two things by. Compromise is highly important in a relationship.

[Varanus]

Hmmm maybe I'm just striked lucky on my first go.
As my relationship in a 50/50 ordeal with the things my partner lacks in he makes up for it in other things as do I.
I just hate when people have this attitude that its all about them and their partners are second class citizens, it makes me sick when I see or hear about this sort of behaviour.

[Sylph]

Gurls please. I have a simple answer.

Follow your gut, it won't lie to you unless you lie to yourself. If you already suspect he's losing interest, then he probably has. As mentioned, conversation is important, but if in the event humpty dumpty can't be put back together, you've got to be ready to get another egg from this fridge we call life ( I'm alittle hungry atm :/ ).

Sometimes all that is gold is just silver with some rust on it and needs to be refined or traded for a diamond. It's up to you to decide

[Xj900]

I appreciate the constructive and respectful feedback to my original post. The guy hasn't lost interest at all. That actually is his dilemma and why he hasn't just come out and said he doesn't want to date. He likes me that much apparently. We've had a chance to talk more and things seem to be moving in a positive direction.

TFTD--respect is an awesome thing when it's shown