Here I go again

[posterpicture]

Here I go again, typing all of this. My heart is once more time broken. My life is a mess. I met someone, fell in love and got heart.
It is just the same story over and over again.

2 am in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I texted the person, confronted him but he didn't reply.
I just deleted my facebook leaving 1000+ of my "friends" behind.
No one would even know if I am disappearing from this world.

Here, I go again. All by myself.

I see darkness surrounding me.
I have worked so hard to look good, to have nice personality, to be caring, funny, and all kinds of things that people want from me.
But I am sitting here, all by myself in this end.

I am not a believer but my ears still can hear the music line "I spend my years believing in you but I just can't get any relief, Lord."....

Happiness, they are all lies?
Why I can't be happy just like anyone else.


I am tired, I want to stop here,

2 am. A Heart broken one.

[Dreamer]

2am... the perfect time for all this kind of shit to cultivate and destroy you. In darkness, reflecting how you feel inside. People come and they may go, but what's important is that you have yourself in the end. Why screw that up? Love yourself, or start learning to. A broken heart may ache, but it's never forever unless you allow it to be. It's all up to you. So make it a short visit, and move on from your brokenness. Rise from the ashes, and live again. Live your life for you, and fuck the rest. Cause people are selfish, you should be too, but instead, in self-love...

Good luck, and my condolences on another lesion to the heart.

[Genersis]

I think everyone is fighting to be happy. Just like you.

Yes, some people will have better luck with obtaining long periods of happiness; but a lot of the time, what you see as happy people is a charade. It seems to be the default image for people to put out, even if they are far, FAR from being happy.

That's just how I see things.

I hope things start looking up for you soon PicturePoster.

[Rainbowmum]

So sorry sweetie.


Nothing seems clear when you are overtired , give yourself a break.
Try to get some sleep if you can and don't give up.
You deserve love and to be loved.

[MisterTinkles]

"happy like anyone else"????

Who says anyone else is happy?

I cant find a date, even if I paid for one!!!
Ive NEVER had a relationship, because everybody wants carbon copies of themselves living perfect little fantasy lives that will never happen.

Im not happy. I have a shitty job at a corrupt company, work around shitbags, dirtbags, liars, thieves, and whores, I live in the ghetto cause thats all I can afford. I cant even afford to have a pet, much less a boyfriend. I have an old beatup truck that has to go in the shop 350 days of the year, eating up what little extra money I get out of my paychecks after paying overinflated bills.

I dont know anyone who IS happy. They all complain about the people they are married too or going with.
They hate thier lives, they hate their spouses, they hate their kids (if they have any). I only know two women who seem to be happy....but one of them has been brainwashed by the religious fanatics around here, so I guess she doesnt really count.

You find somebody who's happy, and you've done the impossible.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have worked so hard to look good, to have nice personality, to be caring, funny, and all kinds of things that people want from me.

There lies the problem.

Stop trying to be someone who you think everyone else wants you to be and be yourself - whomever that is.

Now that you are out of 1000 "friends" and out of this relationship I strongly suggest you take a 365 day vacation from the dating scene and start dating yourself.

For 52 weeks, 12 months, or just one year - date yourself - meaning discover who you are as an individual - not who you think people want to meet, but you - the REAL you and learn how to be the REAL you.

That guy, you know, the perfect mate - he isn't going to be interested in the nice personality, the good looks and all of those other lies - he is going to be looking for you, all of your charm (or lack thereof) all of your wit (or insanity whatever) all of those foibles and defects of characters.

How on earth is The One going to find you if you are hiding behind that mask? Throw away the mask, be you and The One - the Real One will be able to find you.

Until that time, you will have the same heart break, the same false relationships and end up being hurt over and over again, as you are dating guys who are looking for 'Mr. Perfect' that mask you wear, not you.

[Aeneas]

the irony about love and relationships is that you must not want them or depend on them for them to happen.


love to be alone and only then will someone want to enter your world.


and most people are not happy - they are miserable. the world is full of problems in case you haven't realised. and even those who are happy, won't be happy for their rest of their lives. everyone goes through pain and difficulties, of all sorts.

[posterpicture]

Thanks every one for your kind words.!
I am slowly moving on.
I spent lost of hours at the gym this week, and started reading a new books.
Still feel sad about what it "could be" though.

[Udabar]

I was in a relationship recently and I was madly in love with the man. After 8 months he broke it off and this was just last October. I have been single since then and I haven't even thought about dating anyone. I have been a lost soul since October though. All of my friends that I stopped talking to when I got into the relationship, gratefully took me back with open arms. They all noticed that there was something majorly different about me. It has been a major struggle for me to find my way back into society. Even in my current days I am still in love with this man and if he called me up one day and told me he wanted to work things out and get back together I would be on his doorstep in no time.

I guess the point I am trying to make without rambling is that all you have to do is hold your head up and put one foot in front of the other. It is going to be hard for you, but as the days go by and you find a routine of something you enjoy doing and stick to it, then you will find yourself beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The worst thing you can do is try to jump into another relationship. Right now all you need to do is focus on yourself. Take yourself on a date sometimes, wear headphones and listen to music when you go shopping, it will make you more relaxed. Do something for you. Good luck