Dont know what to do

[InfeRno]

Hey guys! Im Alex, 18 years of age, student. I was just looking for some forum where it would be fun to meet some new friends. But..the main point why i came is one problem. I would really appreciate some advice.

Well, I was in a relationship for 5 months and then we broke up because of him. I was really depressed but soon found HIM. He is 23, very cute guy, athletic. Actually, he had the same problem as me: he had recently broken up, so i "showed up" in the right time.
First time we met in the beginning of January and very soon I fell in love. So i thought did him. We saw each other very often, i was staying at his place, so everything seemed cool.
But after about 2 months he said that we wont be ever together as a couple.
After that we didnt see each other so often anymore. But anyway he says that he cares about me very much and dont wanna loose me.
We had an arguement recently and didnt chat for a week. I was trying my best not to start conversation first. And one day he texted me asking if i would like to come to his place. I asked why and he replied that misses me. (quite strange) So the next day we got together and I saw that he really did miss me. However, he still says that we cant be a couple cuz he doesnt love me but still cares about me(although we are kissing etc)
So why does he act like this? I love him very much, VERY much. I dont need anybody but him. And it really hurts hearing that he doesnt love me. Lots of people told me that i have to go further, but i just CANT. And even if i meet up with another guy, i feel like i am betraying him.

So guys, could anybody give me advice? Maybe somebody had the same situation?

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Hi Alex and to the forum.

Actually, he had the same problem as me: he had recently broken up, so i "showed up" in the right time.

Actually I think you may have answered your own question.

You had both recently broken up with partners when you met, so effectively you were both on the rebound. In my experience its always better to wait a few months after a break up, just to let things cool down some.

It may be that he's not actually over his previous bf, so not ready to commit to anything.

Breaking up for whatever reason is never going to be easy for someone in the relationship. Unfortunately that seems to be you in this case.

Your young enough. Give him his space, stop meeting up with him and see how you both feel in a few weeks time.

Good Luck.

ObW
X

[InfeRno]

Thank you!

He doesnt speak with his ex. They blocked each other as they broke up. So deffinetely not that case.

We have made a break, didnt speak at all, and then he writes me that misses me and is worried.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

So maybe he has regrets about breaking up with you? Sometimes you only miss something/someone when you cant have it!

Id let him wait a little before thinking about meeting up with him, then if you do meet, you need to have a serious talk about what he's looking for, and importantly why he walked away first time round.

ObW
X

[InfeRno]

Ouff..Thank you very much I will try my best

[MisterTinkles]

Sounds like he isnt ready for something so serious....he just likes being boyfriends right now.
Dont push him into anything, he will not want to see you anymore if you do.

Just be friends and see where it goes. Maybe you like him a lot, but he isnt right for you.

[Ryocchi]

I would advce you to back off, this guy has been vocal about his wishes, he doesn't want what you want, if you keep being close to him someone is bound to suffer, most probably you, I know it's hard, you want him, and you have feelings for him, but you can change him, so I do seriously believe you should back off at least for now and meet other people, if you think he's great as a friend you may rekinfle the relationship later once you're in control of yourself, also I think it's very cruel of him making up with you and then telling you to not push the realtionship issue, you should also stop that, since it would only end up hurting you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

He is acting this way because he wants love but is terrified of getting hurt again. He has needs but at the same time he is afraid of the potential consequences.

[MANREG]

He doesnt love you. He just likes you, more than a friend but less than a boyfriend.
I think he still in love with his ex... so there is nothing you can do there. He needs time.