"Appreciate the beaty..."

[MANREG]

My boyfriend sometimes said "that guy is hot!/handsome!" when we are watching a movie or tv series, and that makes me feel jealous. Today, after he repeated that phrase a few times, he wanted have sex but I don't cause I felt he was excited about that guy and not with myself.

He always watch guys when we are walking or in the bus, I already said that I don't like to see in front of me cause it's too obvious, but he said that he likes to appreciate the beauty...

What should I do?

(Sorry my grammar mistakes)

[Dreamer]

He's a man... Most men can't help but to appreciate the beauty of other men. At least he's open and honest about it. I'd say it'd be more of a "warning" sign if he was trying to hide it because that would mean that he may be hiding more than just that.

But, if you have a feeling that he's getting more from seeing other beautiful men than from you, and can only perform in bed when he sees other men, and not just you.... that may need some speculation....

All I can say is to follow your gut instinct. It's usually right.

But, don't rule out having a conversation with him about your concerns... depending on his response and actions thereafter will give you reason to make the next obvious move.... dump him or keep him around.

Good luck!

[Genersis]

Well some people are more comfortable with voicing their attractions than others.
And you're perhaps someone he would like to share such views with.

You could try talking with him about how it makes you feel when he does such, to try and convince him to stop.

[Undreamt]

My friend has a saying.

It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.


If you are that insecure about your relationship then maybe you look inside yourself and try to work out why.

Does it really matter who he finds attractive, the important thing is that he is with you.
Emotion is the important connection not the physical.
Or do you get jealous of him looking at porn too?

[Mirage]

I understand why you may feel jealous....but if its just complete strangers he has virtually no chance of hooking up with, why let it bother you?

Have you never appreciated another man's beauty while in a relationship before, even if just for a fleeting moment? Its natural to do so...but at the end of the day, he is with you for a reason - whatever that reason may be.

In a previous relationship I had, my boyfriend and I used to gush about what celebrity we thought was hottest....which is really no different than admiring a perfect stranger's attractiveness. Its purely a physical attraction, and a fleeting one at that. He's your boyfriend, he is in a relationship with you and that's what is important

[bluefox4000]

Hell I do that to My WIFE. And i love her to death, lol....If he he loves you......and i'm sure he does. Don't sweat it. It's human.

Mick

[Udabar]

Undreamt pretty much hit the nail on the head.

I will always look at other men and say, "He's Hot" or "He's Sexy", but when I am in a relationship and I say that, it doesn't mean that I want to go home with them and mess around. I just think they are hot and that is all. I will always be there next to my man and that is that. Just because I think someone is hot, doesn't mean I automatically want to go jump their bones. How many times do people look at a celebrity in a movie or on TV and go, "OMG, he is so sexy." It's the same concept. You're not looking at them wanting to do anything (I'm sure you would if you could ), you just think they are sexy.

Now on the other note, if they say they are sexy and then start describing things they would do to them, you might then have a major problem. If that happens, then I guess I will read that post.

[HomeagainNYC]

I cannot say if your boyfriend’s behavior of objectification - is harmless or not – that he is just looking/talking, but what I can say, is, it appears to be very unsettling to you; that’s the issue as I see it.

If your boyfriend continues in a behavior that you've made clear makes you uncomfortable, and he is not taking your feelings seriously - then it may be time for you to do an assessment, of what's important to you in a relationship, and what’s not.

You’re not alone in your feelings, that when you are physically present with someone, who is a boyfriend - that you deserve the level of respect - of him forgoing this behavior, if you have made your position clear on how you feel about the issue. Clearly, it’s hurtful to you.

So here’s where the assessment comes in; do you want to get over it, do you want to suppress you own feeling - just to keep the peace and him, or do you want to talk it out, in a such way, that he cannot misunderstand how his actions are affecting you?

It a very simple fix for your boyfriend - if he respects your feelings; when you're not around he can objectify/look to his hearts content.

[TimeSage]

Best I can tell you is talk to him. Every couple is diffrent and everyone has diffrent things that make them uncomfortable. Example: Me and my ex-boyfreind would oogle other guys together and have silly conversations about it, It was not at all a factor in our break up either. You on the other hand clearly have issues with this so your boyfreind should be respectful of this. Conversely you can also try going down the road we did and banter with him about it.

[Rainbowmum]

Do not let your insecurities ruin a magic moment, he is not going to run off with them.

If it bothers you so much let him know ,just be careful you do not say it in a way that makes him think you do not trust him.