04-26-2013, 06:59 PM
SO I'm 22 and broke up with my last and only boyfriend over a year and a half ago.
I've never been particularly confident when it comes to guys & relationships so accordingly have very limited experience.
Sex with my last BF wasn't particularly stimulating- we had our moments but I never felt 100% 'comfortable' with him and as a result I was never truly able to let go and enjoy or even experiment. Although we did really care for each other.
For some reason I've been living with this idea that the urge for sex and intimacy is something I should just learn to be 'above'- like it's stupid, inane and I need to be focusing on more important things every second of everyday. As a result my sex life has been recently non-existent.
But even more recently I've been feeling super down about myself- only when it comes to things like my appearance or my perceived likability or attractiveness.
I hate to think of it this way- but do you think this is only natural?
It's as if I've cut intimacy out of my life for so long I've forgotten what it feels like to have someone be attracted to me or want to get intimate with me.
& maybe now I just really need to be reminded of all that.
But just saying that feels so superficial!
Shouldn't I be able to maintain a sense of self-worth without needing to have it be mirrored back at me by other people??
Please HELP!
I'm so bad at all this-
How do guys who lack the confidence or experience push themselves to make more of an effort to find someone and make connections-??
Whether it be a fleeting connection or something more serious.
& even beyond that- do you think it's healthy to gratify yourself on a purely sexual level?
I have so little experience I can't help but feel like I might be 'fucking myself up' by just pursuing guys for sex- even though I desperately crave the experience.
I've never been particularly confident when it comes to guys & relationships so accordingly have very limited experience.
Sex with my last BF wasn't particularly stimulating- we had our moments but I never felt 100% 'comfortable' with him and as a result I was never truly able to let go and enjoy or even experiment. Although we did really care for each other.
For some reason I've been living with this idea that the urge for sex and intimacy is something I should just learn to be 'above'- like it's stupid, inane and I need to be focusing on more important things every second of everyday. As a result my sex life has been recently non-existent.
But even more recently I've been feeling super down about myself- only when it comes to things like my appearance or my perceived likability or attractiveness.
I hate to think of it this way- but do you think this is only natural?
It's as if I've cut intimacy out of my life for so long I've forgotten what it feels like to have someone be attracted to me or want to get intimate with me.
& maybe now I just really need to be reminded of all that.
But just saying that feels so superficial!
Shouldn't I be able to maintain a sense of self-worth without needing to have it be mirrored back at me by other people??
Please HELP!
I'm so bad at all this-
How do guys who lack the confidence or experience push themselves to make more of an effort to find someone and make connections-??
Whether it be a fleeting connection or something more serious.
& even beyond that- do you think it's healthy to gratify yourself on a purely sexual level?
I have so little experience I can't help but feel like I might be 'fucking myself up' by just pursuing guys for sex- even though I desperately crave the experience.