A new milestone
07-02-2013, 07:16 AM
Hi every one,this is my second post in GS,I haven't decide which issue would be appropriate to bring up here,but I guess I'll share some new achievements that I had last night. Sorry for the long essay,I feel the need to share our background to prove some point here,you could skip to the 3rd last paragraph,if you even feel like reading at all. :tongue:
Well,last night marked a new milestone to me as a bi man who's trying to embrace his sexuality. I came out to my only keep-in-touch best child hood friend.
We've known each other since 2nd grade,and have stuck together all the way till high school graduation. We were very close in primary school that we had several fights and make ups,I've never had such a friendship with anybody else. I mean,most of the time,after a fight,the friendship was just never the same.
When we were in primary school,we were,you know,kinda girlish compared to other boys. So we've been picked and teased from time to time,but nothing serious. And so I thought that he was gonna stay the same as time went by,but apparently,he was concerned on the image of becoming masculine,and worked to become one,and he did. I on the other hand,chose to be both masculine and feminine,depending on people and situation,to which I'm comfortable with. Too much of either would just make me feel not myself,I wonder if it's just me.
So when we were in 9th grade,he made a drastic move on dieting and changing his image. Oh,I forgot to mention,he was also chubby,same as I was,which is all the more things that we had in common. But ever since,he slimmed down and become this gentleman that I didn't recognize,some one who was obsessed about looks,appearances,images,masculinity,and fashion. With all due respect,these weren't a norm in our high school,it was a religious high school,people weren't really that conscious.
Then,we made our own way in different classes in 10th and 11th grade,where he made some more new friend and I remained with several people that were friendly enough to talk to me despite me being introvert. At some point,he advised me about how I was always emotional towards my friends over every little things,and I was surprised he didn't tell me earlier,but better late than never. But high school wasn't the perk of my time,I left with several people that I consider close to,and I rarely keep in touch with them,unless it's summer or festive season.
Once,I asked him,did he consider me as his best friend? Cause I did,and still do. To my disappointment,he didn't,although he considered me as his close friend. Maybe cause over time,there are some things we didn't clicked anymore,like how he was always obsessed about fashion,business,masculinity and so on. But after high school,and we each went to our separate route,I took a foundation in science at a local u,and he received scholarship and did International Baccalaureate somewhere within the state that I was in. And we contacted each other even more frequent to my surprise,and up till now,I can say that there were periods of time where I didn't text anybody else beside him,and I'm not a text person,you could say I'm anti-social and I'm fine with it at some point.
And yeah,with all the history that had been going on with us,I think I had a lot to bet on when I decided to came out to him. I was afraid if I was gonna lose such a great friend,and has no one else that I could clicked so much,especially some one from my child hood. It was overwhelming,but I decided to proceed cause I don't want to hide part of myself from him anymore and pretend to be some one that I'm not.
So it began. Like any of my other came out experience,except for one,I used the internet as the medium,after all we're not living in the same state anymore ever since he moved last year. I asked him carefully whether he'll accept me no matter who I am,and honestly,I didn't do all these when I came out before. Till at some point,I used the line from Modern Family when Cameron was coming out to his fake-girl-friend that he picked at a bar just to prove a point that he could get a women's number to his partner. I said,"I was fairly not straight. I didn't know why I said that,I'm totally not straight". Well in my defense,I'm still in a phase where I know I'm not straight,but am not sure if I'm totally bi or gay,again,these are just labels,what I'm concerned with is who I really am.
To my surprise,he responded briefly,"I see". Well,this isn't where I was most surprised,I was more surprised when he started a discussion about my sexuality,and he demanded me to be serious and clear. And so,we talked for like 3 hours straight about various issues and I managed to educate him about some of the loop holes in our religion regarding homosexuality,and yeah,we're still best friend. Some of the topic we talked about: why can't gay guy (or bi) marry a girl and be happy with his marriage? We used some of our celebrity and even our teacher as example,well,it's not like all these people came out,but they are obviously not masculine enough. Maybe I'll start a thread about it.
That ends my coming out story,maybe it's not as grand as those who chose to came out to their family and colleagues at the same time,but it's a big deal to me. After all,the last time I came out was about 3-4 years ago. Phew! Till then...
Well,last night marked a new milestone to me as a bi man who's trying to embrace his sexuality. I came out to my only keep-in-touch best child hood friend.
We've known each other since 2nd grade,and have stuck together all the way till high school graduation. We were very close in primary school that we had several fights and make ups,I've never had such a friendship with anybody else. I mean,most of the time,after a fight,the friendship was just never the same.
When we were in primary school,we were,you know,kinda girlish compared to other boys. So we've been picked and teased from time to time,but nothing serious. And so I thought that he was gonna stay the same as time went by,but apparently,he was concerned on the image of becoming masculine,and worked to become one,and he did. I on the other hand,chose to be both masculine and feminine,depending on people and situation,to which I'm comfortable with. Too much of either would just make me feel not myself,I wonder if it's just me.
So when we were in 9th grade,he made a drastic move on dieting and changing his image. Oh,I forgot to mention,he was also chubby,same as I was,which is all the more things that we had in common. But ever since,he slimmed down and become this gentleman that I didn't recognize,some one who was obsessed about looks,appearances,images,masculinity,and fashion. With all due respect,these weren't a norm in our high school,it was a religious high school,people weren't really that conscious.
Then,we made our own way in different classes in 10th and 11th grade,where he made some more new friend and I remained with several people that were friendly enough to talk to me despite me being introvert. At some point,he advised me about how I was always emotional towards my friends over every little things,and I was surprised he didn't tell me earlier,but better late than never. But high school wasn't the perk of my time,I left with several people that I consider close to,and I rarely keep in touch with them,unless it's summer or festive season.
Once,I asked him,did he consider me as his best friend? Cause I did,and still do. To my disappointment,he didn't,although he considered me as his close friend. Maybe cause over time,there are some things we didn't clicked anymore,like how he was always obsessed about fashion,business,masculinity and so on. But after high school,and we each went to our separate route,I took a foundation in science at a local u,and he received scholarship and did International Baccalaureate somewhere within the state that I was in. And we contacted each other even more frequent to my surprise,and up till now,I can say that there were periods of time where I didn't text anybody else beside him,and I'm not a text person,you could say I'm anti-social and I'm fine with it at some point.
And yeah,with all the history that had been going on with us,I think I had a lot to bet on when I decided to came out to him. I was afraid if I was gonna lose such a great friend,and has no one else that I could clicked so much,especially some one from my child hood. It was overwhelming,but I decided to proceed cause I don't want to hide part of myself from him anymore and pretend to be some one that I'm not.
So it began. Like any of my other came out experience,except for one,I used the internet as the medium,after all we're not living in the same state anymore ever since he moved last year. I asked him carefully whether he'll accept me no matter who I am,and honestly,I didn't do all these when I came out before. Till at some point,I used the line from Modern Family when Cameron was coming out to his fake-girl-friend that he picked at a bar just to prove a point that he could get a women's number to his partner. I said,"I was fairly not straight. I didn't know why I said that,I'm totally not straight". Well in my defense,I'm still in a phase where I know I'm not straight,but am not sure if I'm totally bi or gay,again,these are just labels,what I'm concerned with is who I really am.
To my surprise,he responded briefly,"I see". Well,this isn't where I was most surprised,I was more surprised when he started a discussion about my sexuality,and he demanded me to be serious and clear. And so,we talked for like 3 hours straight about various issues and I managed to educate him about some of the loop holes in our religion regarding homosexuality,and yeah,we're still best friend. Some of the topic we talked about: why can't gay guy (or bi) marry a girl and be happy with his marriage? We used some of our celebrity and even our teacher as example,well,it's not like all these people came out,but they are obviously not masculine enough. Maybe I'll start a thread about it.
That ends my coming out story,maybe it's not as grand as those who chose to came out to their family and colleagues at the same time,but it's a big deal to me. After all,the last time I came out was about 3-4 years ago. Phew! Till then...
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