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am i selfish for staying in
#11
It should not matter. This subject should not even be any kind of issue, to anyone.

You are you. If they like you, they like you for the person you are, not who you want to date.

This bullshit of "closet" living has just gotten way out of control. It needs to be stopped!!

Do YOU like or love your friends and relatives because of their preferences for dating or getting married?
No.
Then there is NO reason they should have any problems with who you date....unless he's a real asshole or something.

You are you. Be you. You dont need to be telling anybody anything, unless you feel its something you want to tell. If they have a problem with who you date, then that isnt YOUR problem, its THEIR problem!!

Decent people dont care about your dating preferences (as long as they are legal and you arent getting hurt....like an abusive boyfriend). Decent people will like/love you for you, and as long as you are happy, they shouldnt be concerned about anyone you date.
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#12
[QUOTE=BobInTampa;295371

BUT, all that said, since you're not "out" to everyone and don't circulate in the gay community, it's not fair to lump all gay men into the "femme" category - or that somehow your attraction to masculine men is something new or different. It's not. Oh, and just to be clear, you can have femme gay friends and not be attracted to them, but still be friends. One of my best friends is very flamboyant.....fun, energetic, classy, dresses well, smart - just that he's very effeminate and very PROUD to be so.

[/QUOTE]

i really didn't mean to place all gay men in one category. believe me i know as much as the next guy that we are not all alike and that we all come in different shapes and sizes. i want to apologize if i offended anyone in my original post. i'm not saying it is bad to be a flamboyant gay man, just saying i'm not attracted to it. but you are welcome to be you, whoever you are.
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#13
You can never be selfish for staying in the closet.

You'll know when you're comfortable and in control of your life to make the decision.

What ever you do, just be safe.
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