Late at night, can’t fall asleep

[HomelessJake]

I guess your mother already knows your are gay. She's so great by saying "I'd love still love you if you were gay". It is heartwarming. I think if I were you, I may cry on the scene.

Sort of. I haven't told my mother I am gay yet, because I don't want to be a burden. Yet, I'm resolving this inner conflict by realising that I want her to know everything about me, and be a part of my life for forever in whichever direction it takes, because she literally had the talk with me, and someone that loving deserves to know.

Now you, you have traditional parents. I guess your parents are a little more like my dad, who I lived for for much of my life. Not a nice man, and for a long time, I felt like you, I could never come out because it was dangerous, I'd be homeless, shunned, not loved, etc. . . . .

But my parents don't own me. I deserve to live my life, and so do you. Living with my dad, I didn't envision coming out until my late 20s, when I had total independence, but I was going to do it, for me. Because I knew that love would have been accepting me, not shunning me, and so I got over my guilt in that regard.

Likewise, your parents DON'T define you. Someday, THEY WILL BE GONE, and you should plan your life. You will miss out on a lose of stuff when you realise at 50, when they're gone, that you have 40 some years to catch up on. Why don't you make some plans? Think about how you might live a life apart from your parents, be independent. Think about what you might be missing out on if you never come out, versus if you do.

Oh, and welcome to GS .

[Geminize]

Welcome to GS, HomelesJake.

You come from such a different cultural context that it's hard to know what to say. Honoring your parents is wonderful. Honoring your true self is also valuable and may be a gift to your parents, if they can receive it. I hope you find your way with them. It's not always clear, and it's definitely not always easy. How we deal with the challenges in our lives shapes who we are.

Take care of yourself, and good luck!