Listen, you Swedish whippersnapper. I am 67 and have 9 Ph.d's in ranting. I have been in and out of hospitals for 4 years. To get service in an American hospital, you must rant until some nervous doctor or nurse shows up.
A psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Zeiman shows up before a foot operation. "John, are you nervous about the operation tomorrow." "Yes." I reply.
"Are you feeling suicidal?" "No." I reply.
"Do I detect a note of hostility in your voice?"
"Zeiman, I am trying to finish reading this book. Please leave. If I was hostile, I would put my good foot up your ass. Punch the cash register on the way out. Good night, Zeiman"
"You have a sense of humor, John. I am certain of that." He leaves.
After my foot operation, I got stuck for 7 weeks rehab. !6 pints of almost frozen antibiotics everyday for 7 weeks. I feel healthy but I lost 16 small bones in my left foot. I wobble a bit but I feel alright. They feed me rabbit food and won't explain why. I get up. hold my robe open and show my bare ribcage. "Feed me, you miserable bastards. I am a retired marine."
Finally, Zeiman comes by. "John, I heard you were here. When I heard about the uproar you caused I wanted to see you. How are you?" "Straving." I reply. He weighs me. I am 6'1" and am 162 lbs. He checks my file which they won't show me. Zeiman says, "John, I think they made a mistake. Your chart says you weigh 262 lbs. That's why they have you on a diet." "Zeiman, do me a favor. Change their fucking charts and get them to feed me." He does and they give me real food.
Zeiman comes back. "John, you are in excellent mental health. Anyone who knows how to defend himself against a hospital bureaucracy is not only healthy, you are probably a genius."
This the truth. I met a straight guy in NYC in 1968. I was gay and enjoyed being gay. I came out when I was 10 and enjoyed being sexual with guys. Tom seem terrified of being gay. He was Norwegian and born in corn country in Iowa. I looked like an Irish cop from NYC and was an extremely well trained marine. Tom was frail but incredibly good looking. We fell in love. We were very, very, very broke. We had no money at all. We went nuts trying to pay rent in NYC. We were so far behind, we decided to celebrate and go to Europe.
Neither of us had parents we could run home to so we decided to see what would happen. We put our faith in God and hoped we didn't starve to death. By golly, that was in 1969, 44 years ago. I am still alive.
One day in Torremolinos Spain we were trying to find a place to stay. The Swedish government owned a hotel. It was crowded in winters with Swedish workers who came south for Vitamin D. In summer, they gave rooms free to young Americans when they had open rooms. Tom had bottomed for me for just one year and he wanted me to bottom for him on his birthday in Spain. I did. It was rather awe inspiring first experience for me.
I felt something break and was afraid I would see my intestines and kidneys on my stomach. All I saw was white semen. I asked Tom with some embarrassment "Tom, who was doing all that screaming I just heard?" "You were, John." "Tom, did the other guests in this Swedish hotel hear me?" "John, they heard you screaming in Stockholm."
The next morning Tom came to breakfast. He told every good looking Swedish girl that he had made that good looking marine scream last night. He offered to make any Swedish girl scream with pleasure. Two agreed and went with him. I played cards with some Swedish guys and won about a hundred dollars playing poker.
A 22 year old young man with a sense of adventure should simply grab a friend and find out what you are made of. You may be a mama's boy and run home to your family. BUT, if you take your chances against the world and survive, it gives you a tremendous sense of confidence. If you flew to NY or Rio tomorrow and survive with no money in your pocket, it makes you feel great. I still love being gay. Tom died pretending to be straight. We both knew he loved me better than he loved any girl. We survived. Girls like to be paid for with crap that costs money.
Love counts. Even for the Swedish. Hope you get to America some day.
John
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Welcome drawer! I'm a drawer too! (and painter and engraver and... etc)
What are you studying (Swedish?)?
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Hi welcome
I'm on about a week the people on this forum are so nice
I draw to, what type of drawings do you do
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