What kind of book would you be? :)

[MisterTinkles]

I'd be that lengthy instruction manual everyone dreads reading but has to anyways. Maybe I tell you how to piece together your cheap Ikea furniture, or even how to play your new favorite board game. Either way, I will confuse and frustrate you with my terminology until you're ready to just sleep on the floor and throw your game board out the window.

"insert tab A into slot B, then rotate aggressively"

Oooooooo..............sexy talk!!!!

[MisterTinkles]

This is too awesome and I'd buy a copy of you for each of my friends.

As a book I'd be a book of Jim Morrison lyrics: shamanic posturing and awkwardly feigning significance without actually saying anything of substance.

Miles, Miles, Miles.........

What ARE we going to do with you????

I would take you over my knee and spank you, but I think you would like that too much.