Here it goes, whew. well, i'm posting in "need advice" obviously cause i need advice. But, in order to get the advice I seek I suppose you should know my story a bit first. I need some stress relief, someone who can listen and someone to talk to since there's not really anyone who I feel would listen to my story without blowing my cover, thus where this fourm comes in. To start I'm currently in a strait relationship and recently married. My predicament is here; when I'm with my wife all I care about is her and mostly all I want to do is to make love to her and make her happy. However, it used to be that only when I'm away from her I want to be fucked by guys until recently all I can think about it doing things with guys. Even the other day I couldn't resist finger fucking myself in her shower. I feel so terrible. It hasn't been until most recently in my relationship with my wife that I've realized that I'm bi, and more so on the gay side than strait side. And here I sit..I'm stationed in Hawaii and I have so much oppurtunity. I'm living on my own for the first time and it's amazing. I'm by myself until my wife gets here. I can do what I want on my free time, damn it feels good to be on my own. And, with this new-found freedom all I can think about is getting into a sexual relationship with another guy..and I'm married. I feel terrible that I've been in relationship lasting over two years with a woman I honestly love and now all I can mostly think about is experiencing amazing sexual encounters with other men. ugh. someone please set my mind strait.
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Welcome, Greg. Wow -- sounds like you're in a tough situation there. A committed loving relationship has the potential to be incredibly fulfilling. Most of us aren't ready for that at 20 years old. (I wasn't.) If you love your wife as you say you do, I hope you can learn about yourself and grow within the relationship.
There's nothing wrong with being in a hetero relationship and enjoying some ass play. Hopefully your wife can help you out in that department. Get some toys and experiment together. Don't feel bad about having fun with yourself in the shower either.
Cheating on your wife is another matter. You made a choice and a commitment to her. Maybe you're feeling the limitations you just put yourself in through marriage, and it could pass in time. If you need to explore the bi/gay side of yourself then you need to realize that's going to affect your wife.
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Monogamy is not special and such an important thing because it easy. Those vows you made when you married with all of that 'to have and to hold from this day forward..' stuff was your making a commitment.
Gay/Bi/Straight it doesn't matter - you committed yourself to her and unless you have a fully 100% open and honest marriage where both of you sat down and decided that monogamy is quaint but you two can handle multiple partners you must stick to her and her only.
Since you are 20, perhaps you just married to young and need to annul this marriage and go out and sow your wild oats, wait until you are older, more experienced have gotten the lust out of your system?
For whatever reason you made a commitment here, took vows. Clearly you felt that marriage was the right choice for you.... Well stick with that choice or do the right thing and let her go.
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You're in a hell of a situation to be perfectly honest.
If your age is correct (20?) you are pretty damn young to be married ESPECIALLY if you feel like you want to "play the field".
This is something only you can fix, but here's my best advice: Whatever you do, do NOT have any children with your wife. At least not until you settle these issues of monogamy, fidelity and sexuality. Things are going to be very complicated for you in the future. It's best not complicate them further by dragging innocent children into your ambiguous life.
They (your future children) deserve a fully committed and present parent.
Good luck.
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