Why are you ashamed?

[Cptjackstar]

So i've known this guy from work for over a year, i've always guessed/known he is gay, I have a very acurate gaydar. So the other week I asked him out. He's not the usual type of guy I prefer (i like manly, lightly bearded fellows) but he's fit and cute and really nice. He gave me his number and I texted him the next day. He texted me back saying he'd let me know when he was free. So it'd been over a week and I hadn't heard from him. It's not that it was a particularly long time to wait but I just thought i'd check we were still right for coffee. I later found out that he's actually ashamed of being gay. It's kind of disapointing because he doesn't really want to go out but i'm more upset for him because he's torn up on the inside and thats really sad. I hope he'll be okay. Anyway i'm going to start going to GLBT support sessions soon so hopefully i'll make some new friends and meet a cute guy there. I'm really excited about dating

[Tyrion]

I used to be ashamed, but I've grown more comfortable with myself and the idea of being gay. There's really no real reason to be ashamed.. but with societal pressures it is understandable.

I wish we had LGBT groups/programs in our area. Sadly where I live, there is nothing...

Guess that's the price you pay for living in the middle of nowhere :p

[ceez]

Maybe you could take your friend with you to the support group.

[Beaux]

I had the most AWESOME counseler back in 2009. I had begun to see him when I was declared disabled and the focus of all his sessions was Shame. He was convinced that the origin of all self-destructive behavior is shame. The origin of the word "shame" is derived from a Hindu word that means "to hide", and after attending sessions with him for over a year he had me convinced as well.
Loving one's self is very dependent on our ability to see ourselves without the pervasive guilt that shame brings with it. I honestly believe that the majority of personal problems experienced by LGBT youth can be attributed to shame and that the majority of emotional problems experienced by LGBT adults have their roots in shame and the associated guilt we delt with as youths. Drug and alcohol addiction, destructive sexual behaviors, destructive personal coping mechanisms (cutting, suicide attempts, ect..), and a myriad of other complaints that seperate us from our hetro counterparts all have their basis in shame.
This is such a wonderful time (comparatively speaking) to be gay. I must admit that I am a bit envious of the vast support network that is being developed to minister to the young people in our community. When you grow up with everyone in your "world" telling you that you are inheritantly "wrong" simply by existing, you develope emotional scars that can take a lifetime to heal....if they ever heal at all.
I hope that you get as much out of your counseling sessions as I got out of my own. Who knows, maybe you will be able to pass what you learn on to others. Maybe even the guy you discussed in your post. Please keep us updated!
Warmest Wishes,
Beaux

[pellaz]

your 17.
The more experiences you go through and places you see people lives mostly different from yours will make you know what is right for you.

[Sylph]

Shame? That would imply that I am sorry for being who I am and that I give a Single Solitary Fuck that people try to put that on me.

Nope, ain't got no time for it Sis, checked my Calender and everyday has me living my life and being happy. Sorry, gotta make an appointment on my list of "Things not to give Fucks for"and that list has back orders of Fucks to give, so pick a number and get in line bitch!



You should take your little friend with you. Who knows, he might be the Jack to your Will

[MisterTinkles]

Why dont you just become friends with this guy? Maybe he could use someone to talk too. He might feel he's all alone in the world and doesnt have anybody to talk to or be around.

He may feel ashamed because he doenst know any other people like him.

Dont just pass up these people, be their friends. Get them to understand they arent alone. There are others out there who think and feel the same way.

Thats a kick in the face to just let the poor guy off like that. Maybe he was hoping for friendship instead of romance.

[throbbinblue]

Hear! Hear! many times all I wanted was a friend but so many times when I reached out to the other guy they thought I wanted to have sex.....little did they know.... how bat their loss.

[Wade]

Show that guy this video, then turn him slowly towards you, gently brush the tear away from eye, offer him a cookie, and then say "these are the kind of people from whom you seek approval. For the love of God... why?"

[naitsirc]

Because for some reason I care what other people think and most are judgemental and critical.