Little Johnny and Susie

[pocket_pilgrim]

Of course you didn't.... You're so innocent, Pilgrim... Pelerinul de Buzunar...

excuse me?... are you talking to me and my red lollipop? *slurp* *puppydog eyes* :biggrin:

[princealbertofb]

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mum was coming to visit.

This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.

He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree...

[princealbertofb]

I found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you.
It was to me, and it's very well written.
ENJOY!

[B]' WINTER '[/B]
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

F**k Me!

[B]It's Cold![/B]

[pocket_pilgrim]

nice poem! it's also simple to remember and i believe fragments can be used as a poetic way of hinting at something you want to draw attention upon:

when you are out with someone and there is that annoying tension when neither party knows what the other wants, you can delicately quote this poem to romantically let the other person know you are willing for more intimacy:

F**K ME!

or, in case your manhood is at first glance unimpressive, you can explain it in a very poetical way and release some tension, again by quoting this wonderfully written poem:

It's Cold!

i have to find a way to remember it word for word though

[princealbertofb]

nice poem! it's also simple to remember and i believe fragments can be used as a poetic way of hinting at something you want to draw attention upon:

when you are out with someone and there is that annoying tension when neither party knows what the other wants, you can delicately quote this poem to romantically let the other person know you are willing for more intimacy:

F**K ME!

or, in case your manhood is at first glance unimpressive, you can explain it in a very poetical way and release some tension, again by quoting this wonderfully written poem:

It's Cold!

i have to find a way to remember it word for word though

L:biggrin:L LL L:biggrin:L LL L:biggrin:L LL L:biggrin:L LL

[Smurlos]

LMAO! You guys make me laugh :biggrin:

Whats the difference in driving a skoda and putting your hand up kylie minogues top?
You will feel a bigger tit driving a skoda

[wouldlikemuscle]

LMAO! You guys make me laugh :biggrin:

Whats the difference in driving a skoda and putting your hand up kylie minogues top?
You will feel a bigger tit driving a skoda

Heeeyy... I used to have a Skoda Fabia (Company Car - pretty crappy) which after an accident (not my fault... Chelsea Tractor ploughed into the passenger side... at approx 10mph, but for such a low speed.. was a LOT of car damage!) was exchanged for a Skoda Octavia 1.9 TDi (the sweetest car I have ever driven!!). No company car now tho!! Shame! But I love my lil Tigra! :biggrin:

[princealbertofb]

Heeeyy... But I love my lil Tigra! :biggrin:

Is that an Opel? Vauhall, or whatever you call'em?

[wouldlikemuscle]

Is that an Opel? Vauhall, or whatever you call'em?

Vauxhall / Opel / Holden .... yeah! lol

[Smurlos]

Heeeyy... I used to have a Skoda Fabia (Company Car - pretty crappy) which after an accident (not my fault... Chelsea Tractor ploughed into the passenger side... at approx 10mph, but for such a low speed.. was a LOT of car damage!) was exchanged for a Skoda Octavia 1.9 TDi (the sweetest car I have ever driven!!). No company car now tho!! Shame! But I love my lil Tigra! :biggrin:

Haha I think it's probably referring to the 'not so cool' models hehe.
However Tigras, awww they're cute - especially in black! Phwooooar! Also a bit chavvish though wlm *hides* Just joking mr :biggrin: - almost as chavvy as my peugeot 206 - which had a spoiler - but not because I had it put there :tongue:

*sigh* Now I must find myself a temporary baby... meh!