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Sunday school
#1
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
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#2
Haha, heard that joke when I was really little, but never quite understood it as much as I could have xD

Can actually appreciate it now lol Tongue
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#3
God is a good friend of mine. His real name is Bob and he appears at the convention for guys named Bob which was hosted by Bob Newhart. Newhart was not just a comedian, he was high priest of my pagan religion.

I met a freak who said God's name was Tom. I don't believe in that Tom, Dick or Harry bullshit. God's real name is Bob. I am certain of it.

Be careful guys. My neighbors all say I sound like the new CIA Director, John Brennan. They are right. He is a relative and I sound authoritative when I speak. Don't forget to say Our Bob who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
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#4
LMAO

Thats a good one
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