Because i said so......thats why!!!!!

[MisterTinkles]

Now that I have your attention.....


How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I will tell you later.

When ever you can afford to get married. Buy yourself a sports car.

Remember: you were once the strongest sperm of your dad.

Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Often when I fall, I don’t wake up. I lie there and enjoy my nap.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

When life gives you lemons make lemonade and sell it... use the profits to buy an assault riffle and see if life makes the same mistake twice.

Always be yourself unless you can be a unicorn, then always be a unicorn.


Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely, the opportunist.

[Wade]

Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Also, people have to drive you everywhere and the likelihood of pissing yourself in significantly greater.