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07-13-2013, 01:51 AM

I know there isn't much I can do in this situation and but it's deeply bothering me, and I feel rather... powerless?

First off when I was a kid my mom raised me christian, and it was baptist the church we went to was VERY homophobic, the paster was homophobic, and she'd even have us watch sermons where the entire thing was based off of how gays are evil, disgusting and will "Ruin this country." I bought into the whole thing since I was a kid, and at that time you just listen and become a tape recorder set on repeat and don't think for yourself, after all of this when I was about 12? I left the church, mainly because I knew I was gay, and the religion in general was so hateful towards me, It literally was the one place I would fear going to, because I was always the outcast and other kids would bully me. So... when I was 13 I didn't have to go anymore, the part that worries me is I have two younger siblings that I care about A LOT. The thing is, she's raising them in the same environment, so... I'm afraid the outcome will be similar, only the thing that sparked me to leave the church was knowing they were always against me, they never liked me, and it was mainly because I was gay and had always shown those signs of being gay (without even realizing it). I'm just fearful that my siblings are going to be homophobic just like I was, because of their environment, I've had this conversation with my mom and she told me "This isn't your decision. I choose to have them raised this way." and I agree, It's just, I don't know this worries me? :/

Any advice?

07-13-2013, 02:04 AM

Coming from "the south" and being raised in the Baptist area of Texas.....I can tell you Baptists are EXACTLY like the Catholics. They PREACH and PREACH and PREACH against the things that they do in their personal lives.

In my life the Baptists and Catholics are the same exact thing....liars, cheats, wife beaters, drug addicts, perverts, two faced liars, drunks, child abusers, thieves, etc....

I have never known these people to be anything but the EXACT things that they preach against!!

They PREACH it, but the DO NOT LIVE IT!!!

All you can do is talk to your siblings and make sure they understand you are only a human being, you arent evil, and who you prefer to date has no bearing on anything in anyone elses lives. Just as the people they prefer to date has no bearing on your life.

Just let them know that there is a lot more in the world than one single minded, religious zealots hate filled rants.

If they love you, they wont care who you want to date.....as long as you date a decent person.

Other than that, theres not much you can do.

07-13-2013, 02:52 AM

Tend to your own garden at the moment. Stay focused there. Be kind, and, available at all times, answer any questions or comments truthfully they might put to you, but do not try and alter the course of their lives.

Don't project what happened to you will happen to them. Be who you are - you've always presented as a kind and generous natured person. Today - that is all you will be able to manage - heck, it all any of us can manage, if truth be told.

It's one day at a time. Gay, straight, rich or poor, of any background or ethnicity; none of us have the answers ..... we find them along the way. The ones that are right for us.

If the need arises in/with them and they seek your help/guidance/advice with this issue - that will be the time; until then just be their big and loving brother. I predict you won't be disappointed in the end.

07-13-2013, 06:02 AM

MissingNYC Wrote:Tend to your own garden at the moment. Stay focused there. Be kind, and, available at all times, answer any questions or comments truthfully they might put to you, but do not try and alter the course of their lives.

Don't project what happened to you will happen to them. Be who you are - you've always presented as a kind and generous natured person. Today - that is all you will be able to manage - heck, it all any of us can manage, if truth be told.

It's one day at a time. Gay, straight, rich or poor, of any background or ethnicity; none of us have the answers ..... we find them along the way. The ones that are right for us.

If the need arises in/with them and they seek your help/guidance/advice with this issue - that will be the time; until then just be their big and loving brother. I predict you won't be disappointed in the end.

Thank you so much ^^ I really appreciate that.

07-13-2013, 01:59 PM

Thats hard, like MissingNYC said, all you can do is be a good big brother and be a living monument to them that all gays are,nt evil. as clearly your not.

You wouldnt be the first person to want to protect there siblings from what you yourself went through. Unfortuanatly they are not our children, so we just have to accept.

07-17-2013, 09:23 AM

What NYC said. And remember that actions speak louder than words, on a tape or not. Be yourself and show your values through your actions. No one likes to be preached to, except the scripture-thumpers who rely on on mere words to arouse faith. Look within and live your truth.

Slider

07-17-2013, 10:28 AM

Also, remember that even though your mom can raise them the way she sees fit, you are able to be a good influence.
This isn't just about you being accepted, its also about helping them have a clear mind. When they're old enough to be able to have a conversation where they're not just repeating things but actually think about stuff, like early teenage years, go for a walk and have a long conversation about church beliefs etc.
That is a very healthy and good approach generally.

I..e don't try and make them atheists, just allow them to realise there is a choice and that the current incarnations of most religions are a very far cry of where they started and why they did...