Questions on my Think Box...

[Sylph]

See to me, I find Kid Fury to be sooo hilarious and just awesome, and the fact that we are so similar is even better, cause it's like watching a friend.

Beware, loads of cursing,Reading and shade



And yet, if judging many people's reactions here to me, he won't be considered friend or even boyfriend material perhaps, because he just happens to say words people don't like and is feminine.

And yes Kawaii Pussy, words such as Nigga can be and have been used racially as a slur, but it's only when you give a word power, which I don't think many people grasp. I call someone a bitch and they take it worth everything and the bloody salt, when it was just a word and even if I meant it, would require you to give it power.

Also, yes Kiid Hunni, Bitches abound it seems. :/

And your my favourite one <3

[Bowyn Aerrow]

1) Why do "Masculine" Gay Men find feminine terms and nicknames offensive?

One of my old friends always said 'if we gays stopped acting like fags no one would care about homosexuality anymore.'

There is a bit of truth to it. Homophobs seem to think that gay is only the swishing nelly queen, its expected that if you are gay you are "acting like a woman" (their words).

The stereotype gay man is effeminate, not masculine. The stereotype is offensive. Irritating and you will also find that a decent chunk of the masculine gays want to distance themselves from the 'stereotype' gays because they feel that being stereotype causes more harm than good. Its offensive because its a sterotype, and has been used offensively for way to long to lump all gays under a 'bad' light.


2) Why do people in general find "Vulgar" Words to be rude, even when used in general conversation with no connotation?

Because the words are taboo and thought of as rude/vulgar. I think its the same thing as overly Political Correct behavior where people are trying too hard to 'be nice'.

3) Why do people care what people think of them and change for them?

Humans are social creatures, they are designed to work in packs (or herds, depending on what day it is and if I'm offended by humanity or not :tongue Social people usually tend to change to suit the thoughts of others than lone wolves. It is part of the make-up of the social aspect to 'belong' to some group. A group starts with more than - thus '2' is a group.

Another aspect is is that humans a very lonely critters. Society paints this ideal image of a person being part of an 'Us' - One of the first questions a stranger will ask you as part of the 'getting to know you' ritual is if you have a wife/GF/SO... Its usually not because they want to mate with you, its because the species is ingrained to measure the individuals worth/stability/respectability based on if they are part of a couple or not.

The other question often asked is 'what do you do' Meaning what do you do for a living another way to measure a persons 'worth' which is not based on the person at all.

Social pressure and being raised in a world where being part of a couple is expected, or to be part of some group leads to people working very hard to fit in. We lone wolves don't give a hoot, so we don't bother with it. :tongue:


4) Why is it seen as unattractive to be Feminine(Males)

It is a hang over from the over masculinity of males in the Post War climate of the 20th Century. During the 19th Century a man who was effeminate, delicate hands, able to dress in silks and pretty clothes was well -off, thus femininity was seen as 'rich'. this had been the case for many centuries, perhaps thousands of years on and off. Especially in the Roman Empire.

The Mid to late 19th century this started changing. By the time of World War I decidedly masculine behaviors were being set and determined.



That lovely young lady is not a lady, that is Roosevelt. In the late 19th century it was perfectly normal to dress a little boy in a dress.

Why did the world change? The advance of technology (The Industrial Revolution) also lead to migration into cities. That lead to social and civil changes and wars which lead to a 'beefing up' of the ideologies of masculinity.

As a society - humans are now starting to slide the other way. Straight boys (Teens-20's) are decidedly more effeminate today then they were 20+ years ago. Back on my school yard they would have been beaten up for being 'sissies'. Today its considered 'normal' for a guy to be such a wuss, a girly girl, with all of those hairdos, brand names, even wearing all of that perfume and do we detect a little lisp there too AND they are in touch with their feelings! :tongue:

5) Why do Guys think that Lesbians want them? (Seriously)

Because they can't wrap their head around the idea that a woman doesn't need a dick to be happy. That and those who want lesbians actually believe it will turn into a three way - two women one man.

6) Why do Gay men in general have to be "a guy" in order to be deemed relatable to other gay men? (This one irks me alot)

I have no idea what you mean there.

[Sylph]

1) Why do "Masculine" Gay Men find feminine terms and nicknames offensive?

One of my old friends always said 'if we gays stopped acting like fags no one would care about homosexuality anymore.'

There is a bit of truth to it. Homophobs seem to think that gay is only the swishing nelly queen, its expected that if you are gay you are "acting like a woman" (their words).

The stereotype gay man is effeminate, not masculine. The stereotype is offensive. Irritating and you will also find that a decent chunk of the masculine gays want to distance themselves from the 'stereotype' gays because they feel that being stereotype causes more harm than good. Its offensive because its a sterotype, and has been used offensively for way to long to lump all gays under a 'bad' light.


2) Why do people in general find "Vulgar" Words to be rude, even when used in general conversation with no connotation?

Because the words are taboo and thought of as rude/vulgar. I think its the same thing as overly Political Correct behavior where people are trying too hard to 'be nice'.

3) Why do people care what people think of them and change for them?

Humans are social creatures, they are designed to work in packs (or herds, depending on what day it is and if I'm offended by humanity or not :tongue Social people usually tend to change to suit the thoughts of others than lone wolves. It is part of the make-up of the social aspect to 'belong' to some group. A group starts with more than - thus '2' is a group.

Another aspect is is that humans a very lonely critters. Society paints this ideal image of a person being part of an 'Us' - One of the first questions a stranger will ask you as part of the 'getting to know you' ritual is if you have a wife/GF/SO... Its usually not because they want to mate with you, its because the species is ingrained to measure the individuals worth/stability/respectability based on if they are part of a couple or not.

The other question often asked is 'what do you do' Meaning what do you do for a living another way to measure a persons 'worth' which is not based on the person at all.

Social pressure and being raised in a world where being part of a couple is expected, or to be part of some group leads to people working very hard to fit in. We lone wolves don't give a hoot, so we don't bother with it. :tongue:


4) Why is it seen as unattractive to be Feminine(Males)

It is a hang over from the over masculinity of males in the Post War climate of the 20th Century. During the 19th Century a man who was effeminate, delicate hands, able to dress in silks and pretty clothes was well -off, thus femininity was seen as 'rich'. this had been the case for many centuries, perhaps thousands of years on and off. Especially in the Roman Empire.

The Mid to late 19th century this started changing. By the time of World War I decidedly masculine behaviors were being set and determined.



That lovely young lady is not a lady, that is Roosevelt. In the late 19th century it was perfectly normal to dress a little boy in a dress.

Why did the world change? The advance of technology (The Industrial Revolution) also lead to migration into cities. That lead to social and civil changes and wars which lead to a 'beefing up' of the ideologies of masculinity.

As a society - humans are now starting to slide the other way. Straight boys (Teens-20's) are decidedly more effeminate today then they were 20+ years ago. Back on my school yard they would have been beaten up for being 'sissies'. Today its considered 'normal' for a guy to be such a wuss, a girly girl, with all of those hairdos, brand names, even wearing all of that perfume and do we detect a little lisp there too AND they are in touch with their feelings! :tongue:

5) Why do Guys think that Lesbians want them? (Seriously)

Because they can't wrap their head around the idea that a woman doesn't need a dick to be happy. That and those who want lesbians actually believe it will turn into a three way - two women one man.

6) Why do Gay men in general have to be "a guy" in order to be deemed relatable to other gay men? (This one irks me alot)

I have no idea what you mean there.

As usual BA, your brain makes my little girl parts so the bankbead bounce and perhaps on a systemic level, I knew the answers you gave, but I wasn't sure if it was just me thinking too much. They do make a great deal of sense...

I still think we should dress boys in dresses...(not that I wear them though). FDR looks so pretty <3

#6 means, why do you have to be "a guy" or "masculine" in order to relate to other Gay males...is it alas because of the attracrion thing?

[KawaiiKitty]

I meant to add something to my answer about why guys try to think lesbians want them?

Ive always found it odd that lesbians reject men because they are not attracted to them right? Yet some lesbians use dildos in the shape of a male penis to masturbate. Doesnt that at least symbolically defeat the purpose? I mean no offense to any lesbians here I am just looking for understanding. I know that is the area and the way women pleasure themselves and orgasm. I guess there is just no way around that biological factor...Its just the fact that they have to stick something up there that is at least somewhat phallic shaped no matter what they do or who they are with.

What I dont know is if they symbolic gesture might suggest some biological dependency on men even if the woman is a lesbian. Its like your own body is a slave to the biological shape of the penis. Again I mean no offense to lesbians at all - please dont shoot the messenger here. Im just throwing ideas out there and asking questions. Im not making any conclusions cause I really dont know one way or the other. I guess it depends on your own perspective too.

[megumidesu]

I meant to add something to my answer about why guys try to think lesbians want them?

Ive always found it odd that lesbians reject men because they are not attracted to them right? Yet some lesbians use dildos in the shape of a male penis to masturbate. Doesnt that at least symbolically defeat the purpose? I mean no offense to any lesbians here I am just looking for understanding. I know that is the area and the way women pleasure themselves and orgasm. I guess there is just no way around that biological factor...Its just the fact that they have to stick something up there that is at least somewhat phallic shaped no matter what they do or who they are with.

What I dont know is if they symbolic gesture might suggest some biological dependency on men even if the woman is a lesbian. Its like your own body is a slave to the biological shape of the penis. Again I mean no offense to lesbians at all - please dont shoot the messenger here. Im just throwing ideas out there and asking questions. Im not making any conclusions cause I really dont know one way or the other. I guess it depends on your own perspective too.

using that logic , you could say that gay men should just have anal sex with women .

some lesbians might use penis shaped sex toys , but they're attracted to women not pieces of women / men that they can use for sexual pleasure .

also , there are straight men who like to be pleasured anally , which doesn't mean anything in terms of their sexuality . it just means they like anal stimulation . same for lesbians using vibrators / dildos / etc

aaaaand actually , the majority of women (not all , i know) have better orgasms through non-penetrative stimulation anyway . except for g-spot orgasms , but those can happen without use of a penis / similarly shaped sex toy ~~

[Eros]

6) Why do Gay men in general have to be "a guy" in order to be deemed relatable to other gay men? (This one irks me alot)
Cos gay men in general are bitches u.u

But I won't, because...



(this post was an excuse to post gifs <3 lmao)

4) Why is it seen as unattractive to be Feminine(Males)

Well... I like masculine men :3 but it doesn't meant I can't fall in love of a femenine hottie <3

[Vigilias]

On the subject of Number 2.

I guess it's a values thing.

I was brought up in a household in which vulgarities and obscenities were never uttered. It was thought of as particularly serious to swear in the presence or hearing of a woman.

I went to an all boys boarding school and even in the mid 1980's I saw one or two guys marched to the toilets by a teacher who literally applied soap and water to the unfortunate miscreant's mouth!

I once and only once let the F' bomb fly at one of my peers as the Head Master chose that exact point in time and space to come out of a class room door! No soap and water though, I guess he had busnes elsewhere. He did, however stop dead in his tracks and with just one look obtained an instant apology.

As for other points, it's just too damn hot to give a toss what the normals think - wrists were made for bending!

[Nick9]

Hi Odi,
don't take my answers in a bad way, ok? You asked, I answer, no hard feelings You are the only feminine guy I know, so it may sound like my personal issue with you :redface: Also English is not my native language and I may think about some things differently.

1) Why do "Masculine" Gay Men find feminine terms and nicknames offensive?

you mean like you calling us Sis? Hmm, no, I don't like it at all. I think that you want to be different than others here.
There was a guy at GS, Stephanie. I have never had a problem with him. He shared his stories and dreams with us, told us about buying a new wig or a new dress. I didn't mind his fem side at all. You push your fem side on everybody. Sure, you do it in a cute way, but I have no idea why guys should be called sisters. It's like you would call all people "baby" If your partner likes to be called that way, it's nice and intimate.
Besides, there is just one person who can call me sister :biggrin: Sorry, Odi, you are not the one :tongue:

The other thing is, I remember you used to be different. When you had joined, we had great time talking about all your animals. Then you left and later came back as a very different person. Different way of talking, different jokes. Maybe the change was too sudden for me.

2) Why do people in general find "Vulgar" Words to be rude, even when used in general conversation with no connotation?

Like you calling other people bitches? Maybe you could explain why you think it's nice, or why you use it? I assume there is something you like about it. It may be the same reason why others don't. You could call others "teddy bears" or simply guys, but it wouldn't be provocative, wouldn't it? That's why you use bitches?

3) Why do people care what people think of them and change for them?

it's safer to fit. Since the beginning of the mankind.

4) Why is it seen as unattractive to be Feminine(Males)

I have no idea if it is unattractive. It is for me, but in general? I have no idea.

I remember one guy. It was at the time I had no idea about LGBT. There was a guy at the company I worked for. He was 20 years older. Up until today it never came to my mind but when I think about it, he was probably a fem gay.
I talked to him just several times and saw him just for couple minutes a day during that year.

He made me feel uncomfortable - because he was unreadable. He didn't fit. He behaved differently. And I assure you not VERY differently. But there was something about him that was strange and I considered him a threat - because he was unpredictable. He moved and talked a bit differently than I was used to. At that time I had no chance to see a very fem gay anywhere. Today everybody knows the behavior from silly Hollywood movies. Back then he made me confused.

Perhaps that is also why straight men have problems with gay men. "Something doesn't fit" and it makes them alert.

5) Why do Guys think that Lesbians want them? (Seriously)

The same reason why some women are attracted to priests. It's a challenge, an "ungetable get"

[Jay]

The other thing is, I remember you used to be different. When you had joined, we had great time talking about all your animals. Then you left and later came back as a very different person. Different way of talking, different jokes. Maybe the change was too sudden for me.

Sorry I'm in a rush so I'm not able to answer these questions.

But i was wondering the same thing. As Nick has mentioned, you used to be different. You were 'polite'. You didn't use foul and vulgar words. There were no [I]Bitches, Go Fu*k Yourself with Sandpaper Dildo etc[/I]. I assume it's part of growing up?

I don't be like to be shoved and forced with a name/label. Be it Sis, Brah, Bro, Dude and Man. I dislike to be called Dude, Brah, Bro and Man in my gym. It sounds pretentious and tries too hard to be different.

[Sylph]

Hi Odi,
don't take my answers in a bad way, ok? You asked, I answer, no hard feelings You are the only feminine guy I know, so it may sound like my personal issue with you :redface: Also English is not my native language and I may think about some things differently.

No Nicky, I am not offended by people, so please say what you must and as blunt as you very well can.

you mean like you calling us Sis? Hmm, no, I don't like it at all. I think that you want to be different than others here.
There was a guy at GS, Stephanie. I have never had a problem with him. He shared his stories and dreams with us, told us about buying a new wig or a new dress. I didn't mind his fem side at all. You push your fem side on everybody. Sure, you do it in a cute way, but I have no idea why guys should be called sisters. It's like you would call all people "baby" If your partner likes to be called that way, it's nice and intimate.
Besides, there is just one person who can call me sister :biggrin: Sorry, Odi, you are not the one :tongue:

well firstly, I do not push anything on anyone, I am merely being who I am, and if my personality seems kinda pushy, then I am sorry, but calling someone Sis is not labelling them, nor is it insulting them, it's an Epithet, a word used with no meaning usually. In my case, it's like how Canadians say "Eh?" Or how we say "Inna?" At the end of a sentence/phrase. And I already am different from other's here, we all are, the fact that I have a strong personality might make this seem accentuated, but trust and believe, I am not trying to be or doing anything that does not come naturally. I haven't the time Nicky-poo.


The other thing is, I remember you used to be different. When you had joined, we had great time talking about all your animals. Then you left and later came back as a very different person. Different way of talking, different jokes. Maybe the change was too sudden for me.

I was awaiting this and I'm glad it was you who brought it up Nicholas. Yes, when I joined and thereafter, I was very "polite" and what not, and you know what, I still am, but I moved out and had to grow up, deal with bills and people and so developed a coarser overlayer, however I am still the same person as before, my interest in Animals and Music has not changed, I would still love to talk about them, but my view on life has lost it's "childlike" quality, in that I have to make things happen for myself and that life is not as easy as the silver platter I used to believe it always came on. So yes, while more coarse and perhaps "vulgar", I am still the same person who had you had fun talks about Sora with.


Like you calling other people bitches? Maybe you could explain why you think it's nice, or why you use it? I assume there is something you like about it. It may be the same reason why others don't. You could call others "teddy bears" or simply guys, but it wouldn't be provocative, wouldn't it? That's why you use bitches?

[COLOR="Red"] Nice or Mean and Good or Bad has nothing to do with a word, but the intent meant behind them and the way in which they are interpreted. I can call someone like Daddy or MisterTinkles a Bitch and they wouldn't take offense to the word, because they know I do not mean it in a bad way, nor would they care if I did, as to them, it's just a word. Kids are often told "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words could never hurt me" and yet...? People take a word and stretch a mile out of an inch.

To me, a word such as Bitch, while provocative to an extent, is by no means a bad word and the fact that I heard it often while growing up, as my Mother curses all the time and not even out of anger/spite, is a word I often use, but not because of it's meaning and not to insult someone. [/COLOR]


I have no idea if it is unattractive. It is for me, but in general? I have no idea.

I remember one guy. It was at the time I had no idea about LGBT. There was a guy at the company I worked for. He was 20 years older. Up until today it never came to my mind but when I think about it, he was probably a fem gay.
I talked to him just several times and saw him just for couple minutes a day during that year.

He made me feel uncomfortable - because he was unreadable. He didn't fit. He behaved differently. And I assure you not VERY differently. But there was something about him that was strange and I considered him a threat - because he was unpredictable. He moved and talked a bit differently than I was used to. At that time I had no chance to see a very fem gay anywhere. Today everybody knows the behavior from silly Hollywood movies. Back then he made me confused.

Perhaps that is also why straight men have problems with gay men. "Something doesn't fit" and it makes them alert.

To be put simply, no one "fits" , not you, not me, not Obama, nobody. We co-exist and live communally, but don't really "fit" anywhere. As no one is exactly the same as another, so how can you "fit" into something you technically do not share all your traits with. Similar perhaps, but even this is not condusive to "fitting" somewhere, because although a puzzle piece looks like it might fit, it's only similar and life is giant puzzle that is nearly impossible to finish, as a great deal of the pieces do not fit. It's only when you find the piece you "fit" with, is when you can say you fit with someone"

I am not annoyed or frustrated , bur merely curious, so sorry if it feels like I'm pushinf anyone