double standard sexism

[unkown21]

Hi all, so I'll get right to it, this is something that has been on my mind, and I'd thought I'd get others opinions, /experiences/expertise.

So in today's society (well always i guess) men are expected to be very masculine. From what i have seen, sometimes when parents see their boy playing with dolls, they are corrected and pushed to do sports or some other manly thing. But it seems when little girls play with all the boys and do the boy things, it okay, because she is a tomboy.

Also look at the way insults are delivered. When a guy is doing something that isnt considered masculine, he faces scrutiny by his friends, mostly the men, and occasionally the women. Name calling includes the "hey, quit being a pussy!" and "sissy" and so on... I think that the reason why those are used as insults towards men, is because we still live in a very sexist society. So when those words are used to harm someone, its because they are telling the men that they dont deserve to be men, but rather, they are lower on the totem poll comparing them to women. I may be over analyzing this, but it seems that insults like that towards men, discredit women. I know tons of women, that are tougher then men, for christs sake, they can push a ten pound baby out their vaginas!!!!!

I just find it sickening that people are discouraged from enjoying things that are deemed to be related to women just because they have a penis. And it also sicken me that women are being degraded in this pseudo passive way.

I love this quote that Betty White says:
"Why do people say grow some balls? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina, those things can take a pounding!!!!!"

So what does everyone hear think? And i may have been rambling, so if this was hard to follow I apologize lol

[VileKyle]

You're such a sissy. Look at you using your feelings and stuff.

Nah, I agree with you. We shouldn't be judged on masculinity vs femininity. I hate how brainwashed we all are, but I was no different growing up. I just had to grow up.

[Sylph]

I completely agree sugar bear, even more than Horse Dick Kyle ^o^ .

As an openly and proudly feminine male, by birth and not choice, I know exactly which way the breeze blows ma'am.

Even now, I am often "corrected", if say I twirl my Dreads abit, that's seen as girly, because appearantly all girls do this and let alone have hair to do so with...

Unfortunately, however realistically, society relies heavily on Gender and the Idiosyncrasies that those genders exhibit in order for evaluation and identification. And anything out of the norm, is considered weird, not right and needs to be fixed.

And I also strongly agree on the view that insults/degradation towards and of males tends to highly revolve around Female qualities, often times and not so subtly used in disgust or contempt, which is ofcourse Misogyny. Ironically.

This I believes Stems from the rudimentary mindset of males and that from birth they are programmed to be stronger than girls, tough blah blah blah and so to have a boy exhibit "girly" traits, is seen as a threat to his "manhood" and so humiliation and degradation is used in an attempt to correct the behaviour, often by using something they are taught is wrong to be and so find insulting.

Which is why I believe personally a lot of men here (no offense gurls) get offended or uncomfortable when called Sis, Gurl, or any other "girly" term, as this is unconciously and perhaps conciously seen as a threat to their Masculinity or "Manhood", but that is neither here nor there.

Girls, because they are seen as inferior, and they are unfortunately, even in 2013 however much more liberated then times past, are allowed and even praised and raised to "be like boys" in the sense that they will be strong and more ambitious and not a bare-foot pregnant mess quivering at the absence of her husband off at work.

This is a folly however, as Females for centuries have always held the power, but were blinded by Males and their egos and disgusting Misogynistic ways. Child Birth being the most important thing in all matter of life, is an attribute Females alone (of the Human species anyway) can do, so without them, Males would have no heirs,sons,lineage or anything else they crave.

It's just sad it took so long for Women to be liberated from such an era, but now they are fucking their burly husbands with strap-ons and I find that so cute ^o^ .

But I digress.

Just let it be known that I agree and after a Talk with the Divine Tree, have been enlightened :3

[Lilitu]

I honestly think things are changing, and I believe this generation of new parents are setting the tone for the future as far as sexuality and gender identities are concerned.

15 years ago when I worked in retail if a boy picked some peice of clothing that was 'girly' the parents reply would be 'Wouldn't you prefer something that is more for boys?' it may only be a t-shirt that really isn't girly, but isn't masculine enough.

Today, we have a series of drinks Spiderman Raspberry, Ben 10 Lime, Barbie Strawberry and Barbie Tropical...the amount of parents proudly come to he counter with one of the Barbie flavours for their sons is remarkable, it makes me smile on the inside and I always make sure to make a positive comment to the parent just to let them know they are doing a wonderful job as a parent.

There is always going to be that 'meathead element' where pinks is a girls colour and you have to be gay if you are man that likes pink, but really people that think like that are i my opinion only going to harm themselves in the future.

funny that because when I was little I would always refuse to wear the really ugly girl's clothing mum find really cheap or gets from friend's daughters.

But the only time when something like that hapened to me was on the last day of kindergarten when I was about 3, this was the last day of school for me in Hong Kong, we were given umbrellas as gifts. One was pink and had a minnie mouse head on the top, the other blue and had donald duck. I chose the pink one (because it was soooo much prettier.) and my teacher asked me if I wanted the other one instead but I didn't.

And the first toy I remember getting when I was around 2 or 3 was this crazy dancing hawaiin doll that wouldn't stop swinging its hips about.

[Pix]

I agree overall, in the general sense. And I'll never forget how no one seemed to care when I was a girl playing war games with boys, but wow was there a meltdown when I got one of those boys (I think we were 9) to play dress up with me and then we went (in makeup and female clothing) to show off to his parents...he wasn't allowed to speak to me for a year after (though he did when he could).

And it's often so arbitrary, like pink (blood & passion, I think) used to be for boys and blue used to be for girls (something to do with the Virgin Mary, IIRC), and boys used to be put in dresses. And cheerleaders used to be guys until WW2 pretty much forced women to take male roles, and for some reason the women kept the cheerleading position after and now guys who want to be cheerleaders (or love pink) are often taunted.

Another "reverse sexism" thing I don't like is that men's anger is seen as dangerous while a woman's anger is seen as silly or amusing or even cute, which I find insulting (and I do believe that's why some women go way overboard when they do become violent because they feel they'll be ignored and patronized condescendingly unless they go WAY over the top, and I also think that's why 70s feminism was so angry, it HAD to be in order for anyone to pay attention).

And both genders have some really insane double standards to live up to that are near impossible to balance (and of course they're applied much more strictly to some than to others).

But females have their pressure, too, and often promote an insane conformity (so as to not make other females feel threatened and/or not make yourself a target) and taught self-hating behavior from a young age, and I know that some talk about how boys are doped up by psyche meds more than girls but that's because girls are much more likely to turn their anger inward and be private about it than guys are.

And there are other rules applied to females, including in not being too masculine in some ways (and even girls who get into "acceptable" sports are often seen as lesbian). I know I dealt with it, and perhaps the primary reason I got called a slut in school was because I was close friends with some boys and had some traditionally male hobbies (like skateboarding, which was very unusual for a girl in the 90s, at least in Texas), and I got mocked for it, even my best friend at the time tried to girl me up (as did my granny and others). And girls (and even some adult women) simply could not understand it and felt I was "playing dirty" to be more attractive to guys, and when I didn't even date one then obviously I must be having sex with all of them, because why else would guys & girls hang together? (That said, once guys I DID NOT KNOW heard I was a slut they'd come onto me, and then they'd lie about what they did with me and be believed which would send more guys who weren't about to say they didn't "score" with me when their friends all lied about having done so, and the girls took malicious delight in hating me. Ironically more boys came to my defense and I believe it was my male cousin who made sure I wasn't raped when he made it clear what was going to happen to any who did, and that he would take my word for it.)

[partisan]

Yeah its double standard, theres a lot of that. Actually what krupt says is true and things are changing, but lets hope it never completely changes, which it wont.

Woman & children first, thats the slogan whenever shit hits the fan.

[pellaz]

if you have bright red hair little in the long run that you can do about it except enjoy accept it.
The same with gender. Dont put limits on yourself or your child.

The straight acting (boy or girl) attitude is really a lie:
How many str8's have had a 1000 calorie day at the gym? Could they replace the ECU in their car or maybe pour a cement driveway. NO. Chances are they got an eight to five office job and be part of a team in a cubical office.

The sexy soft feminine type (boy or girl):
why do it to your self and make your self a co dependent any more than you have to. As a glbt person would you stop and help someone change their own flat tire. Hell no.

[Eros]

I honestly think things are changing, and I believe this generation of new parents are setting the tone for the future as far as sexuality and gender identities are concerned.

15 years ago when I worked in retail if a boy picked some peice of clothing that was 'girly' the parents reply would be 'Wouldn't you prefer something that is more for boys?' it may only be a t-shirt that really isn't girly, but isn't masculine enough.

Today, we have a series of drinks Spiderman Raspberry, Ben 10 Lime, Barbie Strawberry and Barbie Tropical...the amount of parents proudly come to he counter with one of the Barbie flavours for their sons is remarkable, it makes me smile on the inside and I always make sure to make a positive comment to the parent just to let them know they are doing a wonderful job as a parent.

There is always going to be that 'meathead element' where pinks is a girls colour and you have to be gay if you are man that likes pink, but really people that think like that are i my opinion only going to harm themselves in the future.

Agree <3

I remember once when my mom and I were looking at toys and I wanted a barbie and my mom was like "Okay ;D" and one of the helping ladys said "Are you sure you don't want a boy's toy" and got mad an I told her "Yeah, is there a problem?" (i was about 4 years old lmao) and the lady just walked away lol, I also remember my mom telling me to show it to my dad and omg he was shocked but he saw that I was jumping around with happines so he got excited and happy too good ol' times.... But I remember my brothers calling me a fagg and bullying me... but bitches, you just made my skin thicker. :r

[Miles]

Agree <3

I also remember my mom telling me to show it to my dad and omg he was shocked but he saw that I was jumping around with happines so he got excited and happy too good ol' times....

I can't get over how adorable this image is as it plays out in my head. x3

Spot on posts all through this thread so far