A Glasgow copper

[LONDONER]

A smart arse London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!

Glasgow cop says, " Licence and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Glasgow cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

TheLondon Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Glasgow cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"

[Tulloni]

Haha! Great! I like this one! Serves that stuck up lawyer right! I've no sympathy for people like that.

[Southpaw]

At a military social convention, a general was giving a welcoming oration in orotund fashion. A young second lieutenant, listening with extreme disfavor, said to the lady standing next to him, "What a pompous and unbearable old windbag that general is."

The lady immediately turns to him and harshly responds, "Lieutenant! Do you know who I am?"

"No," replied the Lieutenant.

"I am the wife of that 'unbearable old windbag,' as you refer to him."

And the Lieutenant strictly responds, "Mhmm, and do you know who I am?"

"No. I do not"

"Thank god," says the lieutenant, and melts into the crowd.