Older man vs younger man

[throbbinblue]

Okay I have been here before under the heading I am 64 he is 38. We are both alcoholics and we will firmly announce it with friends. We drink a whole bunch...I had gone through rehab and had 18 months of sobriety when I choose to drink with him.
He is wealthy very wealthy and I mean wealthy, as he is American Indian and supposedly has major income each month. Just recently the tribe sent him $5000 for school clothes and he is not in school nor does he have any children. He again is 38 and when he decides to retire his income will double. The tribe is one of the most financially diverse tribes in the world.
Ok enough of the finances.
He is very cute and looks way younger than is 38 years. He regularly gets carded at the liquor store. He maintains a good physique and can run, work out with the best of them. Of course he has the perpetual tan being American Indian. He is OCD in regards to cleanliness and his house. We live in separate apts.
We share so many things, love to laugh and like mostly the same things. We can go to a store and shop and never buy anything but have so much fun just shopping. We can sleep together wake up talk for hours, or have a little sex fun. Our sex is probably not so wonderful because we are both bottoms and he really wants me to top though I have never liked topping. I love to get fucked but he really loves to get fucked too!
So we fool around and then jack off.
We went to Dallas in May...we drove there talking and laughing all the way....partied together, slept together, spend 2 days together, shopped, swam, drank, and came home talking and sleeping all the way home....spent the evening together and the night.
But he though he has money is insensitive to my needs..if I ask him to pay for something he gives it grundling as though he had to work for it and it is like pulling hens teeth to get him to do it....even basic needs like electricity he is a bitch about it!
Of all the things we share the fact he will not kiss me blows my mind....I have just got to the point we are just best friends not boyfriends even though I know we are more than than that....I just think we could be so much more than we are but he will not let his guard down.

[Dan1980]

I think you need to ask him why he wont kiss you and ask him where this relationship is going. Are you still drinking? you were 18 months sober and done a rehab which is hard work to kick an addiction. Why did the tribe send him money for school clothes if he is 38 and has no children. You need to ask him some questions and have a heart to heart.

[HomeagainNYC]

It sounds like you are just drinking buddies and little more, given this post and your past post.

[tony1981]

sounds to me like you are friends with benefits. if you love him then tell him but dont know how you could work around the whole sex incompatibilty stuff. if you only want each other after you have had a drink then it aint gonna work relationship wise. but i dont think it would work anyway. you need to accept that you are just friends who meet up and mess around. i cant see it going any further than that. wish you luck x

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Now think about this assuming you ain't a meth or coke head and have a problem with either of those two substances, would you want to engage with another human being while on drugs? No?

Then why on alcohol?

The problem here is not the age difference, its personality conflicts mixed with he ain't in love with you --> yeah your fun to fuck around with, drink with, but a relationship - no - he is saving kisses for the man he loves.

THAT is why he refuses to kiss you. Sorry.

[LONDONER]

You beat mne to it Bowyn Aerrow. If you were a recovering alcoholic, why on earth would you hook up with someone who is an alcoholic and has more than enough money to indulge his habit? On top of that he doesn't want to kiss you and is tight fisted. You're 64 and he's 38 and he's physically fit and presumably you aren't. Whatever he does he is going to outlast you in anything he does.

Be realistic, you're going down your own made road to perdition. If you're looking for love and/or sex, this is all wrong and basically I think you know it. Stand back, take a long hard look and I think you will see for yourself what you need to do.

[Dreamer]

What everyone else said, and other than friends with occasional benefits
(both financial and sexual)
I don't see any substance in you knowing each other other than substance abuse...

Grow up.

You're old, and he's not far behind.

You'll both drink each other to death, soon enough,
if this spiral continues going downward the way it is.

Get your shit together, and have fun without drugs and alcohol.

This little fling won't last forever.

If you keep bugging him to pay your bills,
he's probably going to leave your ass,
since he's not that invested in you on a personal level.

You feeling entitled to his money
is just going to push him further away,
as time goes on.

It doesn't matter,
if he doesn't work for his money,
it's still his.

Nobody likes a gold-digger.
(even if you don't see it that way)

Lose your "happily ever after" fantasy, and get a grip.

[pellaz]

i think your being used as a friend with benefits.
Keep your life intact and have an exit strategy.