Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Talking to your bully never works. I was bullied in high school, and none of them bent to reason or talk. turning the other cheek was rewarded with toilet twirlies (having your head shoved in a toilet and the toilet flushed - think water boarding), wedges and other humiliating physical torture.
It is incomprehensible to a truly humane person why anyone would get enjoyment out of targeting another for humiliation, terror, or whatever negative thing a bully intends or does do. They are beyond reason, they are animals bereft of human compassion and mercy.
My mother was a typical high school cheer leader, one of the 'in girls' who were also bitches - her husband was a school jock, and even years out of high school he thought it was funny to reminisce about what he did to his fellow classmates. And the discovery of what was happening to me at school was a laughing matter. He blatantly said I deserved what was happening. Mother had her comments not post worthy.
Both of those individuals were sick, twisted soulless creatures- it started off with torturing their fellow school mates and lead to abuse of all sorts of me and other kids.
Talking to them is over their head, they can't comprehend mercy, compassion, self control - its all about the power they want over others. Power corrupts.
And in all of the Wisdom you so obviously and adeptly wield Bowyn, you've overlooked something very obvious...forgiveness.
It's not a sign of weakness, condolence, condoned approval or even cowardice, but is probably the highest form of Strength you can display.
Sure it's easy for me to say this to you, from the outside in is always easiest route of Travel, but it's the Travel from Inside out that will show your true ability to withstand and persevere.
I've been hurt too Bowyn, maybe not in the sames ways and not always Physically, but I've been hurt and while yes, I was upset and even wanted to hurt someone or thing, I could never. Not even my Mother could understand why I never wanted to hit someone...afterall, don't all little boys and even girls sometimes?
I've always known from a young age, that fighting and violence has no meaning.
And when bullied, I didn't try to talk reason into them or hit/insult them back, because I already knew why they did the things they did and it wasn't anything I could do to change them. I've always had a sensitivity to emotions, so I know almost instantly why a bully wants to hurt people and let them release their emotions.
This is not to say I allow them to hit off of me or condone violence, but I allow them the taunts and mockery, because I know and I actually feel sorry for them.
It sounds like a bunch of Bullshit and of Men, it is atypical for this to sound like being a "Wuss", but like I said, I already know and know for a fact that I am right, so why perpetuate and inflame already hot and bothered emotions into volatility?
People tend to allow emotions to cloud their judgement and take out emotional pain however they can, unfortunately causing emotional pain in others, and rather than talk about their pain, society has made it so that talking about them is seen as weak, pitiful, and even disgusting, for both sexes.
So because of this, you have bullies and the like.
Sally's Dad could have just vaginally raped her the night prior, but because that's her dad and her Mom is a Alcoholic, she cannot tell anyone she trusts and feels comfortable with, so she takes out her pain and humiliation and anger out by calling John a Fag and throwing slurs at him, while in reality, she's crying out for help and knows John is a good person and if only he could just see her pain she tries so hard to mask, then maybe he could help her.
But when she sees that it only pushes him away, she ultimately shuts down emotionally, goes on to drop out of highschool, get caught up in drugs and prostitution and is given AiDs by a man who promised to take care of her as he slowly indoctinates her into this lifestyle and dies of a self inflicted over-dose, just to stop the pain...Sally was only 25.
So, although it hurts, you have to be strong enough to be able to forgive that person, because they could be really in need of help.
Had John taken the time to pull Sally aside and asked her What was wrong, she would've finally been able to talk about it and be able to move on with her life and possibly become the Doctor she always wanted to be, free from the shame and burden of holding it all in.
I know how much it hurts, trust me, I've been through alot, some of which I've posted on here, but I never let it get to me too much to where I get spiteful, violent and eventually an apathetic person.
I was recently made fun of for weeks by a co-worker...weeks...until I finally asked "Did something happen?" And this stumped her, surprised I wasn't reacting in the way she wanted. Of course she tried to play it off and taunt me more, but at lunch time, where I tend to eat alone (by choice, I just love solitude when I'm eating and concentrating on the cool breeze :p ), she sat down next to me and just let me have it.
Now I could've easily pushed her away, called her names back when she herself was vulnerable, but no, I listened and I advised and most importantly, I forgave.
Now she and I are very close friends.
This is why I do not believe in Violence, it serves no purpose. It is a tool to shelter Emotions and eventually becomes a Prison for them.
Unlock the Cell with the Key of Forgiveness.
(And no, I am not some religious nut job. I am a Spiritual Agnostic, and an Empath, so if it looks/sounds crazy, then oh well. )
:3
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