In a nutshell, stpdo2's ex-wife is a crazy bitch. She thinks she can get whatever she wants, no matter what other people say. She's been in my room, taking pictures of where I sleep at "the advice of her lawyer", which was enough for stpdo2 to file a harassment restraining order to prohibit her from entering the house again.
He has been pursuing neutral evaluations for financial and social aspects for the children, but now she is attempting to head it off with a court hearing, stating that one of the boys "saw something." Let me be perfectly clear, there are locks on my bedroom door, and I have clothes, and I know how to use all of them, and I do, if and when activities of an adult nature are transpiring. The rules regarding this are unspoken, but obvious, and strictly observed. To sum up, El Cunt Loco thinks she can get what she wants by dragging me into this mess. With equal marriage rights having passed in MN recently, I don't think she realizes the enormous pile of shit she has stepped in, and her attempt to use the boys and my presence are infuriating me.
What the fuck are you supposed to do with people that can't be reasoned with?
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Don't drink, that will make you do something stupid. And don't do anything stupid while sober either. Part of the legal strategy, at least as my mom played it when divorcing my dad, was to find ways hard to make a big deal out of but would provoke him into looking really bad (preferably with a police report). Granted, this strategy got her nearly killed (and me along with her) nearly twice, but when it didn't she'd actually laugh about how easy he was to provoke and thus ruin any case he could make in court.
It might be worth talking to your boys about "leading questions" and also how getting gifts and bribes for saying certain things may hurt them later on (do NOT make that sound the least bit threatening) when the mom gets what she wants and no longer has to string the kids along any further (and the kids may not even get child support after, that is to say it won't be spent on them). However, if you provide a much more stable home then they'll probably choose to be with you despite any bribe...that was certainly the case with me in a manner of speaking (though in my case when it became clear I was NOT going to choose to live with Mom or say the lies they wanted no matter how much they bribed me then they pulled a dirty trick called "assigning a court advocate" who "spoke" (that is, lied) on "my" (that is their) behalf and I ended up with Mom anyway.
Sometime later when YouTube isn't so messed up I'll try to share a scene you might like...
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Seriously though....
Get a notebook/spiral tablet or some kind of writing pad.
Write down the date, time, location and what she does and what she says....EVERY single time.
No matter how "small" or insignificant....WRITE IT DOWN!!
If you have hidden video cameras you can put around your place, do it. And keep them going 24/7.
If you have a recording device you can hide on your person when she is around, do it.
EVERY time she steps out of line legally, file a DETAILED complaint at the local police department.
If your hubby DOES get a restraining order, she WILL break it. She can be arrested then.
I would get some "hidden" cameras and put them in all of your windows, so you can see all of the outside around the house or apartment you are in. Have one in each room also.
You have to record EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of what this bitch says, the facial expressions she uses, and what she does.
If you have friendly neighbors, get them to keep an eye out for her and call the police if they see her around your house/apartment when neither of you are home.
The more complaints you can get filed on her, the better you guys look. And you HAVE to file them at the police department, otherwise the Judge wont look at them. Well, he doesnt have to look at them anyway, but from the legal aspect all complaints must be filed through the police department.
If you guys are going for restraining orders, then they need to be the ones that encompass every thing and every where BOTH of you guys go. Work, the store, your vehicles, your friends houses, etc. You might have to take out a few of these, but some places one will cover it, you just have to be sure to tell them what kind you want.
CHANGE ALL THE LOCKS on the house or apartment. And whatever else she has keys too.
If there are storage units or other places that both parties are accessable too, then they need to be "cleaned out" asap, before the lawyers put a freeze on everything.
If you havent already, get your own lawyer.
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Ignore her.
Let her expend all her energy for zero reaction.
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Pix Wrote:Sometime later when YouTube isn't so messed up I'll try to share a scene you might like...
Seems to be working now...I realize this would appeal a lot more to me as this is between a mother/daughter, and despite being a criminal defense rather than divorce lawyer this does remind me a lot of Mom's 2nd lawyer (the one who'd replace me with a "court advocate" saying I was "too traumatized to speak" on my own behalf when I refused to lie for the bribes offered me, though I wasn't offered anything like college or cars...)
http://youtu.be/5u9bubIxxy8?t=1m52s
To this day I still can't think of divorce lawyers without a frown...or fail to watch that scene without enjoying it how Astrid answers the lawyer about her plans for the future. 
Sorry if this post annoys you, I find it helps to find a way to laugh, but not everyone agrees...
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me and my Xwife used the same lawyer, we worked out the paper work on her front porch.
everyone has to get a handle of their emotions.
use extreme care with the children
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I realize I didn't state my position regarding the boys; I have no intention of using or manipulating them. A lot of what has happened has already traumatized them, and after two full months, they are slowly warming up to me. My only objective is to expose them to independent thought, and ask questions that make them think.
She no longer has a current key to the house, and cameras and quality audio recorders are expensive, and I'm not exactly raking in cash like some drug-dealer drama...but I have thought about the audio recorder.
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Counselor Wrote:I realize I didn't state my position regarding the boys; I have no intention of using or manipulating them. A lot of what has happened has already traumatized them, and after two full months, they are slowly warming up to me. My only objective is to expose them to independent thought, and ask questions that make them think.
She no longer has a current key to the house, and cameras and quality audio recorders are expensive, and I'm not exactly raking in cash like some drug-dealer drama...but I have thought about the audio recorder.
Actually you can get some small types of recording devices off of Amazon or Ebay very cheaply. I have found some for as little as $3 each.
You might get two "wide angle" video recorders/cameras if you cannot afford them.
One for the front of the house/apartment, one for the main part of the house....hopefully where she comes into the house the most.
Usually for any honest Judge, once one person in an action case like this breaks the law, there is nothing more for them to say to the Judge, they will find for the more honest person, not the one breaking the law.
It doesnt matter if you have nothing to do with the kids or not, they WILL be in the line of "fire" on this.
Since this bitch is vile and conniving, she will be telling all sorts of horrific lies to them the put them off of their father and you. Ive seen and heard this too much to know its not true...especially about bitches like this.
You can try everything you can to keep the kids out of it, but SHE will not let this happen. Unless these are extremely intelligent kids that already know whats going on and that lies will be told to them, then they will believe whatever lies she tells them.
Well, anyway, good luck with this.
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Counselor Wrote:... my position regarding the boys; I have no intention of using or manipulating them ... objective is to expose them to independent thought, and ask questions that make them think ... hmm; i would spend some time with them and assure you and your wife will always be there for them. keep it simple.
Counselor Wrote:... She no longer has a current key to the house ... acknowledge your life change and make a check list of things that need fixing, dont put off things, the house key change is top of the list. along with closing bank accounts, change utility bills, passwords...
-for one single door in the house get am inexpensive electronic lock with a changeable code you can give to the children.
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