just want to vent :(

[strangerrr]

hey all. i feel deeply alone here. i honestly have no friends, real friends. a few days ago i was required to give an emergency contact number; i left it blank, since really i have no one. i do socialize with people, but i can't open like i used to; different culture,different language. man, although i am deeply atheist, i do miss seeing mosques. i feel i can't blend in here.

i got here almost 2 years ago, as a refugee. i am iraqi, but my heritage is Turkish. here, mostly people think that i am either Greek (which is close), or Italian, or even Spanish. they have no idea what Turkish is. before coming here i lived in turkey for many year; turkey is, mostly, considered gay-friendly. i never had any problems since i was very open, even if i hold hands with men, it was considered normal since it is in the Mediterranean and middle eastern culture in general.

to fill the huge void in my life i am studying, and since there's nothing fun, i am doing well. my goal is to go back to turkey after i am done with school, especially i am not considering marriage or adoption. so far, as i said, turkey is gay-friendly. but the whole thing that is happening in turkey, and the open support of the Turkish prime minister to an extreme Islamic organization, Muslim brotherhood, makes me feel alarmed. what if turkey becomes another Iran or Saudi Arabia? i could have a heart attack

[mbennet35]

I am so sorry you are feeling so alone. I know how it feels and if you ever need someone to talk to I am a great listener. Just send me a PM.

[JimmyDalton]

Yes. You can always PM me if you need to share things.

[Kenny221]

Hey Strangerrrrrrrr, you can always message me if you want to. Trust me, you are not alone and we here at gayspeak care for you.

[Geminize]

I'm sorry to hear this, Strangerrr. The USA is such a large country that many of us never interact with people from other parts of the world. I'm not surprised Americans where you are can't guess your nationality.

I would love to talk (or pm) with you about Turkey. I may be traveling there this fall to meet a friend. I know little about it, but will read up before I go. We will see Istanbul for sure, and I already have a short list of historical and natural sites I'd like to see. It's also a big country, so I don't know how much I will get to really see. I would enjoy hearing your suggestions.

It's great that you are keeping yourself busy with studies. I hope things get better!

[pellaz]

... there's nothing fun, i am doing well ...

nice your dong well, in a strange land far far from home. sounds corny but your a strong person. as much as things go well they can turn not so good.
-just know your priorities.
-a relationship will not change your life, certainty complicate it.

[justbry87]

Sorry to hear that man..

But I'm an immigrant as well, when I came to America I
didn't speak English very fluently. I knew how to write it,
but only spoke it in English class back home. So it took me
awhile to speaking it everyday in school and at work.

People thought I was Spanish, Vietnamese, Chinese and sometimes
even Hawaiian, lol. I used to take offense to people assuming what
ethnicity I was, but after awhile I just learned to laugh at it and not
really care. I know who and what I am and that's what mattered.

You talked about marriage and adopting, I think you should slow
down and just take smaller steps. I am a believer that friends are
everywhere, they're just waiting to be met.

If your school-work free's you up to do something, I think you
should take that opportunity to make friends. Do you talk to any
of your classmates? Can you take a class that you have an interest in
like art or music?

You can always turn a bad situation and change it into something
positive..

good luck :]