Paranoid after having anonymous gay sex, what should I do?

[TheOneAndOnly]

So I'm not terribly experienced with sex. In high school and most of college I was completely against working out and/or dieting, and as a result I was fat and not terribly attractive. In the past year or so though I've gotten into working out and, not to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty attractive guy now. With that has come a lot more opportunities for sex than I expected, and given that I really haven't had much sex in the past I was eager to try it out. Thing is, I may have indulged a bit too much. I've had many different partners in the past six months or so. One night stands, hookups, even some craigslist/grindr guys. I've only had oral sex with these guys, usually receiving sometimes giving, never did any anal or anything, but at the same time it's not like I used condoms for a bj...

Anyway, I'm getting paranoid of STDs. All of the men I've been with show no overt signs of an STD, and I of course ask them if they're clean and they say yes (though I'm not stupid, I know they could be lying), but I know that the scariest of STDs (HIV) can have no outward symptoms, and that it's possible to have it without knowing it. There also was one time where I gave a guy a bj and the next day got a fever and sore throat. The fever was gone in the day, but the sore throat lingered and eventually made my throat swell up so much that I couldn't speak. I went to urgent care about it, and they gave me a rapid strep test (came back neg) and some antibiotics, which slowly brought my throat back to normal. That kind of scared me, but when I mentioned to the urgent care nurse that I was afraid it might be an STD or something he told me I was probably worrying too much (although they never found out what the infection actually was, and my throat still swells up sometimes, but no more pain or fever).

Aside from that, I really haven't had any STD symptoms (no sores, burning sensations, lumps/warts, whatever), but I'm still kind of paranoid. So much so that I recently took an over the counter HIV test. It came back negative, but it also said that if the risky sex act had occurred 3 months ago or earlier it may not give an accurate result, and these acts were mostly done 2-3 months ago.

I came here for some advice. Aside from the obvious "stop having anonymous sex with guys" (working on that), what should I do? I've looked into doctor given STD tests and it seems like not only are they expensive, there really isn't a "do I have an STD?" test; you need to test for certain diseases specifically. So should I get tested beyond what I've already done and, if so, how exactly? Do I just go to my doctor and tell him I've had some risky sex? What is the likelihood that a random male hookup will have HIV anyway?

[Counselor]

This is not paranoia.

Paranoia prevents this kind of thing. Paranoia would lose it's shit when I say "You already have it, you just need a diagnoses". And HIV treatment is obviously cheaper than STD screening.

[Geminize]

Hey O&O, welcome to gayspeak.

You picked a great topic for your introduction! I was in a similar situation to you last year; excited to explore gay sex and not really giving a shit about the consequences. Fortunately that phase did not last long (still excited, but now I give a shit). After a few hookups through grindr and craigslist, I figured I better get tested.

If the cost of STD testing is daunting, follow this link
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-...-treatment

Planned Parenthood offers STD testing, among other fun men's health issues like jock itch. They usually have a sliding fee scale based on your income. They will (professionally and confidentially) ask you about your recent sexual history. Be honest about how risky your behavior has been and they will offer you the appropriate tests, including HIV. HIV takes 20 minutes, but you will have to wait a week for the rest of the results.

If you have sex with more than one partner, man up and make testing a regular part of your health maintenance. 3-4 times a year is best if you are continue to have multiple partners. Think of it like a regular trip to the dentist! You owe it to yourself and anyone you're willing to have sex with.

[Evan]

I don't have time write out a long post now, so I'll keep this short and just set your mind at ease a bit about the HIV part. Contracting HIV trough oral sex is considered very, very low risk, most even think no risk. They say "low" risk because they can't be 100% sure, but there haven't been any clear cases of HIV transmission through oral sex. So, unless you had any clear cuts in your mouth, I'm sure you're fine (swallowing is also 100% harmless, in case you were wondering).

That being said, there are a number of other STIs that you very well may have contracted, so yes, you should definitely get tested. Lots of health clinic offer testin on a sliding scale basis, if I'm not mistaken, so you might wanna look into that. But even if they don't, your health is what's most important, and if you're gonna be sexually active, you've gotta take the responsibilities that come with that. And sadly, yes.. they may cost you some money.
There are lots of places that offer free (confidential) HIV testing. Just google it, I'm sure there's one near you as well. You also don't have to wait in agony for the results for that long if you have it done through one of those services, as they almost always use a test which gets you the results within 20 minutes. I'd wait 3 months, as that's the window period for HIV. (You can get tested for other STIs sooner)

Last but not least, let this be a lesson. Next time, remember how you felt right now. If you know you're worried easily, don't have sex with random guys, or if you do, use protection.

[TheOneAndOnly]

Thanks Geminize. There are still a few more questions I have about this. Like, is it possible I have anything other than HIV, or would symptoms be showing by now? The last time I had sex with a stranger was maybe a month or so ago, maybe more. Are there any other STDs that have delayed or invisible symptoms that I should be worried about? I guess this is a question they can probably answer at the clinic, but tbh I'm sort of scared. How likely is it to contract HIV or another dangerous STD from anonymous gay sex anyway?

Also, when should I get tested for HIV, now? I've read that HIV can be undetectable for a pretty significant time after you get it (my take home HIV test said three months). Should I wait, or are these tests good enough to catch it early?

[ardus]

I recently had a scare with HPV, and as a result did a LOT of research on STIs and testing.
In men, the STIs they test directly for are:
HIV, syphilis, hepatitis, those are blood tests.
Herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, those are urine tests. HPV can't be directly tested for in men. The US CDC estimates 60% of sexually active adults will contract it in their lifetime. There is a vaccine, Gardasil, that is supposed to be very good protection against it.

When I saw my doctor we talked about frequency of testing and vaccines, she recommended that all sexually active gay men receive the gardasil vaccine and get a full sti panel every six months or so.

Being a soldier all my healthcare is free, i don't know what the full panel and the vaccine cost, especially if you don't have health insurance, but your local clinics should be able to tell you.

Get tested, make sure your safe.

When you play, play safe.

Gotta look after yourself.

Richard

[Geminize]

First of all, take a few deep breaths. What's done is done, and you are on the right track in wanting to get more information now. (And yes, stop having anonymous sex if you want to reduce your risk of STD's.)

I'm no expert, but the CDC and Mayo Clinic websites are a good place to start for reliable info (links below). You're right: it takes time after infection for HIV tests to work. They suggest a test 2-3 months after potential infection, and a follow up 3 months later just to be sure.

And yes, there are other STD's that can lurk undetected. At this point there is no test for HPV in men. Most people who have it don't realize it, so even guys who say they're DDF may not even know.

Scary stuff, so you have to weigh the risks against the thrill. Educate yourself and take precautions. The only safe sex is no sex, but that's not an option for most of us. There's no good way to answer your question about how likely you are to contract STD's. Obviously, the more partners you have the higher the risk. If each of those guys is also having anonymous sex with multiple partners, your risk goes up exponentially. Your age, their age, your location, how you screen them, and what you do together are all factors that influence the risks. Anal sex carries more risk than oral. Receiving is more risky than giving.

At this point that doesn't really matter: you either caught something or you didn't. Get tested. Get tested again. Replace fear with knowledge. Now that you've opened the gates and had some fun, educate yourself and choose how you want to protect yourself (and your partners) as you move forward.

Good luck, and I hope you stick around here. This forum has helped a lot of guys, and I'm open to private messages too.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/basic/index.htm#test
http://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/health-...en/my00738