Stuff life is made of
09-03-2013, 11:17 AM
So for those who looked at one of my recent posts on here, I was having some boundary issues at home with my husband and his niece who lives with us. I jumped the gun on my emotions and got into a fight with him on Thursday, before thoroughly sorting through my thoughts and addressing the issue properly. We met back at the house and were not speaking after a large quarrel and he went to bed early. I got drunk and used the internet for solace and in the process made a haste decision to arrange for a last minute flight out of NYC to go visit my mother- over 10,000 miles away in Australia. I left a note but just left early in the morning before anyone knew.
I found myself waking up after I got there that I was glad to have gone. It sort of relieved a need to feel that I have choices, if I want them. Like when you are angry and breaking something just helps? Yeah, it was that sort of thing. I was SO happy to see my mother in her recently post-hospital state and realize if I hadn't done it I would just be talking still on the phone to her and wondering how she is. By the time it was time for bed the night before my flight home I was like... omg, what did you do!?? You just spent all that time on a plane getting here and now you have to do it all over again?
It was a very long flight because by then we were no longer not speaking and I was missing him as if nothing happened and vice versa. The first thing he did when he met me on the tarmac was come over without saying anything and with total calm, was reach out to put his arms around me and hold me. It felt so good it may as well have been sex. I can't tell you how good it felt to realize that love between us and that nothing could ever be SO bad that we couldn't fix it and make it seem so stupid to wonder why we ever fought about it to begin with.
We came home and took a hot shower together and went to bed for a few hours since I didn't sleep much on the plane. We woke up around 6pm and made love and then spent what was left of the holiday (labour day) with his niece just relaxing, buying whatever food we all wanted to eat regardless of how bad, watching the new Gatsby and later on, just he and I sitting together in our yard drinking and talking and being together.
I ate about a pound of my fav cheeses and drank my fav aged scotch and was surrounded by my three hairy minions (my cats).
When life gets tough, remember that sometimes it's not always as bad as it seems at that moment. Most of the time, things will get better. Most of all, appreciate the little things in your life that you have and maybe take for granted. When I was sitting on that plane after about 8 hours and seeing nothing but black ocean below me I was envious of those who had their beds to be comfy in. I missed by man and my cats and my jammies and my kitchen full of what I wanted.
I found myself waking up after I got there that I was glad to have gone. It sort of relieved a need to feel that I have choices, if I want them. Like when you are angry and breaking something just helps? Yeah, it was that sort of thing. I was SO happy to see my mother in her recently post-hospital state and realize if I hadn't done it I would just be talking still on the phone to her and wondering how she is. By the time it was time for bed the night before my flight home I was like... omg, what did you do!?? You just spent all that time on a plane getting here and now you have to do it all over again?
It was a very long flight because by then we were no longer not speaking and I was missing him as if nothing happened and vice versa. The first thing he did when he met me on the tarmac was come over without saying anything and with total calm, was reach out to put his arms around me and hold me. It felt so good it may as well have been sex. I can't tell you how good it felt to realize that love between us and that nothing could ever be SO bad that we couldn't fix it and make it seem so stupid to wonder why we ever fought about it to begin with.
We came home and took a hot shower together and went to bed for a few hours since I didn't sleep much on the plane. We woke up around 6pm and made love and then spent what was left of the holiday (labour day) with his niece just relaxing, buying whatever food we all wanted to eat regardless of how bad, watching the new Gatsby and later on, just he and I sitting together in our yard drinking and talking and being together.
I ate about a pound of my fav cheeses and drank my fav aged scotch and was surrounded by my three hairy minions (my cats).
When life gets tough, remember that sometimes it's not always as bad as it seems at that moment. Most of the time, things will get better. Most of all, appreciate the little things in your life that you have and maybe take for granted. When I was sitting on that plane after about 8 hours and seeing nothing but black ocean below me I was envious of those who had their beds to be comfy in. I missed by man and my cats and my jammies and my kitchen full of what I wanted.
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