starting college and i starting to adjust and im starting to notice alot of cute guys in my class. theres 241 students in this class. but im not out and im avoiding the LGBT society here as im afraid i would be outed.
im a little bit social, but im not very confident.
so i just want to know how can u tell if a guy is gay?
•
You look for the word "Gay" on the tag of his shirt. If his shirt doesn't have a tag, you have to check his pants for one. That way is a little more risky, but could work out in the right situations.
Or you could ask.
•
vilekyle well it sounds like a good plan but im realy not out yet and im afraid to take a risk especially with some of the homophobes at my apartment block. i know it must sound stupid to ask how do u know but im being serous i want to know when its safe to ask that question
•
This is an awesome question! I want to know the same thing. But I think the only real way is to get to know the person and ask them, like MisterTinkles said.
•
Posts: 1,296
Threads: 77
Joined: Jun 2009
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: Virgo
Mood:
there is no good way except to ask, being in the closet makes it difficult to say the least, I was outed at a early age, was difficult but not impossible to deal with. In today's age you seldom hear of someone getting killed cause they are gay in the usa, James
•
So let me get this straight. You are afraid to join the local LGBT club(s) because you are afraid you will be outed, but being seen with a gay man, having a relationship with him doesn't phase you in the fear of being outed department?
There is no way YOU can tell if a person is gay. I can, but I have years upon years of experiences and lots of practical 'training' to spot the subtle hints of what makes a human being tick.
Its basically like detecting a liar. Liars throw off a lot of tells, homosexuals throw off a lot of tells as well - however it takes a lot of learning and careful observation to figure out what to look for.
You are 18, have no experience in the gay scene. there is a plethora of clues in manner of speech - and its not what people say but what they won't say that gives the biggest clues to their sexuality.
Frankly, I don't think you should be seeking to date men until you are ready to come out of that closet.
Chances are high you will meet an openly gay man and he will tire of hiding with you all the time and eventually that situation will not end well.
As an aside, once you are out and start going to LGBT centre, clubs, etc, you will be introduced to all of the gays in your area and this question will be pretty moot.
Stop trying to take short cuts in life.
•
thank guys i'll give it some thought.
thanks bowyn Aerrow i get what ur saying and i probly do sound stupid. because i never saw it like that. i'm afraid how people will acted around me when i comes out and i don't want to be labelled gay and noting else about me to matter to anyone. also i want to be safe here i have no freinds or family here and i have heard of gay guys still being attacked.
but this contradicts my wish to met a guy and be in a relationship, people tell me relationships are great but i have never been in one,i really wish to know what its like. so im in a maze of my own thoughts and im struggling to find my way out.
•
I have no idea. If gaydars do exist, I most definitely don't have one. The easiest way to know if someone is gay is by asking them. If they are out, they might not have a problem telling you, if the person is closeted, then no. There really isn't an easy way, unless you go to your LGBT society or gay bar, then at least, you can meet more gay people. Maybe start talking to a guy that you are interested and see where that leads to.
•