dildos and such

[jwilliams]

So, I am very new to this forum, not sure of my sexuality, think i'm bi. I'm attracted to both girls and boys but just not really had enough experience with either to know for sure. I was raised very conservative and i'm already shy when it comes to relationships so should I base wait to base my determination until i've had sex with both to determine if i'm gay or bi, or is it enough to just know i'm bi? I mean, questioning my orientation all started when watching a porno and noticed I was more turned on by the cock than the woman. I've only sucked dick once (it was an awkward failure) but I started getting into anal stimulation, mainly using my fingers. I just bought a dildo, and have been using it constantly...6.5 inches long, 1 inch diameter, and it just slid all the way right in...and now I really want to feel another man in me.o I'm guessing if I love using a dildo so much i'll love the real thing even more? Or am i perverting the process by introducing porn/personal stimulation (or is that my ingrained Protestantism revealing itself, and sex is just good no matter what)? Nervous about relationships as I already am, would it be better to go out of the closet and look for an honest, out-in-the-open relationship with another man (while being honest with my uncertainty), or to seek private, discrete, one time relationships first. In addition, how would cross dressing feature into this...when I self-stimulate, I always imagine myself as the woman, and ignore my dick, focusing just on my ass-hole. Is my desire to be penetrated and dismissal of my own genitals a signify-er that I might actually be transsexual, or is this normal erotic thought for a bi/gay who might be classified as "bottom"?

[ZackT]

I think you're going through what I went through when I first started consciously realizing that I was bi.

My feeling is that if you are turned on by guys/cocks and the idea of being penetrated, then you likely are truly attracted to men. Keep in mind though, real life experiences are different from fantasies in our heads, so don't have too high expectations about the sex.

Sex with women is pretty good, at least in my experience. I unfortunately have not had sex with a man, so I can't speak on that (and I don't see it happening, maybe ever, since I'm engaged to a woman).

Just try and get more comfortable with your own desires and attractions. If you are comfortable with the idea of being Bi, then that just opens you up to more potential life partners

[Bowyn Aerrow]

While the words contain sex in them, there is no emphasis on sex in them thus its not HeteroSEXual or BiSEXual...

There is more to sexuality than sex - Having a dildo up your bum feels good - great - that doesn't make you gay or bi.

Even wanting to have just sex with another guy doesn't count. Yeah I know, the world tells you that sex is what determines sexuality. Well the world is wrong.

Intimacy, and relationship building is the determining factor of sexuality.

I can have sex with a woman - even get off if the need is there - this doesn't mean I have a real attraction to women. It only means that I can stimulate my penis and get off.

I define myself as gay because I prefer to pair off and form close intimate relationships with other males.

If you can see yourself forming a long committed lovers-type relationship with a man, then yes you are most likely bi or gay. If however all you think about is a hard dick and the sex, chances are you are just sexual active and able to get stimulation and satisfaction from sex regardless the source.

[princealbertofb]

I think you'll probably find that the real thing is rather nicer than a dildo for all sorts of reasons, but (and there is a ''but'') you need to find the right person to do that with because so much of the sex experience is mental. It's not perverted to try out with a dildo, just to figure out whether you'd be ready to do it with a real man. The thing is, with a real person there is interaction of another kind. You'd better know whether you just want to experience the sex, or if you want to start a relationship, which, along with sex, is a whole other experience...
Good luck with finding the right man to do it with.

[princealbertofb]

I think you're going through what I went through when I first started consciously realizing that I was bi.

My feeling is that if you are turned on by guys/cocks and the idea of being penetrated, then you likely are truly attracted to men. Keep in mind though, real life experiences are different from fantasies in our heads, so don't have too high expectations about the sex.

Sex with women is pretty good, at least in my experience. I unfortunately have not had sex with a man, so I can't speak on that (and I don't see it happening, maybe ever, since I'm engaged to a woman).

Just try and get more comfortable with your own desires and attractions. If you are comfortable with the idea of being Bi, then that just opens you up to more potential life partners

Does your female partner know that you are bisexual, or feel that way? Does she know you'd like to experience with another male? Would she be up for it? Some girls don't mind and find it actually sexy. So where does your partner fit in the picture or scale?

[princealbertofb]

So, I am very new to this forum, not sure of my sexuality, think i'm bi. I'm attracted to both girls and boys but just not really had enough experience with either to know for sure. I was raised very conservative and i'm already shy when it comes to relationships so should I base wait to base my determination until i've had sex with both to determine if i'm gay or bi, or is it enough to just know i'm bi? I mean, questioning my orientation all started when watching a porno and noticed I was more turned on by the cock than the woman. I've only sucked dick once (it was an awkward failure) but I started getting into anal stimulation, mainly using my fingers. I just bought a dildo, and have been using it constantly...6.5 inches long, 1 inch diameter, and it just slid all the way right in...and now I really want to feel another man in me.o I'm guessing if I love using a dildo so much i'll love the real thing even more? Or am i perverting the process by introducing porn/personal stimulation (or is that my ingrained Protestantism revealing itself, and sex is just good no matter what)? Nervous about relationships as I already am, would it be better to go out of the closet and look for an honest, out-in-the-open relationship with another man (while being honest with my uncertainty), or to seek private, discrete, one time relationships first. In addition, how would cross dressing feature into this...when I self-stimulate, I always imagine myself as the woman, and ignore my dick, focusing just on my ass-hole. Is my desire to be penetrated and dismissal of my own genitals a signify-er that I might actually be transsexual, or is this normal erotic thought for a bi/gay who might be classified as "bottom"?

It all sounds pretty normal to me. Nothing pervy, just you trying to understand where you stand in the scale of hetero to gay... and if you feel a bit trans too, then maybe there's more to it than just feeling gay. But I think it's possible to be male, be happy to be gay and male, and want a relationship with another man. There is a mental shift in becoming a bottom, since, as you say, the excitement is shifted from your outer organs to the inside. That doesn't necessarily mean that you want to become a woman, it's just that you can feel different ways of expressing your libido and your desire of closeness with someone. In the end, with a dildo inside you (or a real man's penis), there are still sexual parts of you that are being stimulated (the prostate for one), even if the genitals are not solicited so much. I think it can easily be construed that it makes us closer to what a woman might feel, but the mere difference in 'wiring' probably doesn't make it so close with their experience. Orgasms can be particularly intense and fulfilling, though.