09-26-2013, 06:32 AM
Thanks for taking the time to give me some advice, 30y/o gay male i live in Australia in Sydney I have been in a monogamous relationship with my partner for 3 years, he is 33 we are both masculine I am from the city he is from the country.
Our relationship has never been a stable one, we both met at a down point in our lives, he rescued me from a bad group of friends and i helped him out of a situation he was in with his employer who didnt pay him when he just moved to the city.
We became best mates, things were a little odd to start, i caught him doing meth and injecting. I was totally blow away never seen that sort of thing before, he convinced me that was his thing because i liked the occasional party drug this was no different.
I started to get my life together about 2 years ago, i have good friends and I have a successful career again.
I have a business in real estate, he has no interest in it, I work and make the money to pay the bills.
We have lived in a couple of houses in the past few years, he has punched holes in the walls in every place when we would fight, I have been carrying him for 3 years he has never had a job, when i met him he had one backpack, bit of a gypsy, hes been using recently on and off and lying to me about it, finally i cracked it the other night when i found him using so I packed all his stuff and changed the locks.
He promised me that he would change and needed help so i arranged for him to go to a private clinic and get help, hes been there two days and will be there for another month.
Trouble is now ive had two days to myself finally after three years, i feel relived and
wonder if its really worth putting any more effort in, when there is a world out there with no pain attached.
I think hes only doing it for me and not himself and he is scared of loosing me.
His brother had a major problem with drugs still does and so do the rest of his family, our families are completely different. He has lots of unresolved issues from his childhood and hasn't made any friends here, most of the friends he has are all users and bad influences, and not the kind you would take to dinner with your family.
I feel like i have outgrown the relationship and i have only stayed in it because i might be afraid of being alone and starting again and of course breaking his heart.
So my question is what would you do? would you stay and support him through the process of rehab or run with the wind and why?
My mother said he has some lovely qualities (the other side of him) but didn't think long term he is the one for me.
Our relationship has never been a stable one, we both met at a down point in our lives, he rescued me from a bad group of friends and i helped him out of a situation he was in with his employer who didnt pay him when he just moved to the city.
We became best mates, things were a little odd to start, i caught him doing meth and injecting. I was totally blow away never seen that sort of thing before, he convinced me that was his thing because i liked the occasional party drug this was no different.
I started to get my life together about 2 years ago, i have good friends and I have a successful career again.
I have a business in real estate, he has no interest in it, I work and make the money to pay the bills.
We have lived in a couple of houses in the past few years, he has punched holes in the walls in every place when we would fight, I have been carrying him for 3 years he has never had a job, when i met him he had one backpack, bit of a gypsy, hes been using recently on and off and lying to me about it, finally i cracked it the other night when i found him using so I packed all his stuff and changed the locks.
He promised me that he would change and needed help so i arranged for him to go to a private clinic and get help, hes been there two days and will be there for another month.
Trouble is now ive had two days to myself finally after three years, i feel relived and
wonder if its really worth putting any more effort in, when there is a world out there with no pain attached.
I think hes only doing it for me and not himself and he is scared of loosing me.
His brother had a major problem with drugs still does and so do the rest of his family, our families are completely different. He has lots of unresolved issues from his childhood and hasn't made any friends here, most of the friends he has are all users and bad influences, and not the kind you would take to dinner with your family.
I feel like i have outgrown the relationship and i have only stayed in it because i might be afraid of being alone and starting again and of course breaking his heart.
So my question is what would you do? would you stay and support him through the process of rehab or run with the wind and why?
My mother said he has some lovely qualities (the other side of him) but didn't think long term he is the one for me.