Well I came out when i was 27. I don't really think it's my place to tell you. But at least be prepared, some may not receive it so well. Sometimes you need to know when to let things go. My brother flipped out at first, but he came around and is now an ally. It really took restraint to keep from being nasty toward him. I am glad I did. You have to expect the worst from people.
It's kind of like jumping out of an airplane, you hope your chute is packed right but the moment you jump you can't unjump, you have to take it to it's end.
Just be sure you are ready.
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My hats off to you if you can do it in highschool. I couldn't.
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Bakersfield isn't that liberal. Los Angles, Sacramento, The coastal cities - those are a lot more tolerant than the inland cities - especially the central valley rural towns.
So I would be a bit cautious about breaking the news to 'everyone'....
I am an openly gay man myself. Open doesn't mean I go about informing everyone of my preferences.
There are plenty of people in my life who have no clue - acquaintances. And there are people I say 'no' to when they ask point blank 'are you gay' - people who I do not trust or who asked the question in such a manner as to suggest they are gearing up for a fight.
I know its the 21st century and that there is a lot of tolerance and acceptance - however it is not universal and one still needs to be careful about who one does and does not tell.
You are still in school - School kids are cruel - not all of them, there are one or two that refrain from schoolyard torture. However I assure you if you do come out at school you will end up on someone's radar and they will tease, torment, or hate on you.
As for the folks - I do not know your folks.
I know people who claimed to be all liberal, open and understanding about LGBT until their own kid came out they ended up disowning the kid and taking it as a personal affront. My father is a good example of that. He still - after 23 years, flat refuses to talk to me because I am one of 'those people'. Yet he claimed to be such an open accepting individual, why he had the token Jew, the token gay, the token black - all of these diverse minorities which were his 'friends'.
On the other hand I have known staunch conservatives who refused to accept homosexuality in anyone until their kid came out. My last Ex's father was one such individual. He was a naval office, an old school Catholic (so old school he refused to attend to Mass because of Vatican II).
Yet when his youngest son came out gay he openly accepted that. He also accepted and 'adopted' me since I was the mate of his son.
So there is no solid 'right' answer. I would use caution, and I definitely wouldn't be all militant about it - the whole 'So do you want to know why I broke up with my GF?' tactic comes off like you are being militant and seeking to shock and awe.
I definitely wouldn't wait until the family was gathered around Thanksgiving Dinner - that is too dramatic.
You have a family member on your side. I strongly suggest you enlist her help in telling the folks. And just saying 'I'm gay' is really all you need to do - you don't need to go on about the ex GF, or try to explain why you are gay.
give it time to soak in. A lot of parents take the 5 stages of greif route. They have such high expectations for you, and have been dreaming about white weddings, picket fences, grandchildren - your whole life was plotted out for you when mom learned she was pregnant with you.
So do expect denial, bargaining, anger and depression before they reach acceptance. It is nature of the humans species.
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You already came out to one sister, discuss it with her and get her feelings on how parents may react, my sister was my anchor after being outed, James
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If it's coming out to your family, I'd advise you to do it face to face. It's seems like a intimate thing that you'd rather want to tell personally with each one of your family and friends. I mean it's easier to tell on Facebook, but I think at for family, I believe it's more personal and intimate to come out face to face. Also, do prepare to receive negative comments. Not everyone is as accepting as others, so don't let those comments get to you!
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Good luck to you sir and congrats on making this huge decision in your life. I come from a very conservative and religious family so the only positive side of my coming out experience was from my friends and my uncle and aunt whom I currently stay with. I basically told them that I needed to speak to them privately and we went to their bedroom. I told them that I had something that could change their opinion of me. So I walked into a closet, walked out, and said I'm gay. My uncle was like "man I knew that!" and my aunt was shocked but both of them hugged me and told me that they supported me and nothing could change that. Now when I told my mother that is a different story haha. She is very very religious and basically told me that I was going to hell and the whole nine yards there. So my advice to you is to be firm, and don't let anybody try to make you feel bad for being who you are because we all are created different and that's the beauty of humanity. I wish you the best of luck my friend!
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Help and opinion!
