Second Chances?

[Anonymous]

I've got a little story to tell and I need advice about where to proceed. It involves two guys, and the incidents are not directly related.

First off, in July I dated a guy. The backstory to this is we met on a dating site earlier this year and found out we had the same Art History class. Everything seemed like it would go well, and we went out on a movie date in July. Roughly a day later he started dropping terms of endearment left and right and I wasn't prepared for it - especially when he sexted an MMS of his penis to me - and made the entire idea of dating him extremely awkward. I view him as a friend, not as someone I'd start a relationship with (not that I'm totally closed to the idea, but since that date and the stuff following it, it's even harder to see the idea). He's now asking me for a second chance...but I'll come back to that.


Secondly, just this past weekend, I went on a date with a guy who I met on another dating site, and we'd been talking for two weeks. I turned off the aspect of seeing this guy under any sort of rose-colored glasses - i.e. I went to lunch with him without looking at him with the idea of a relationship, but as just dating to see if a relationship was possible. Needless to say from my perspective, nothing much came out of this date, maybe I'm to blame for it - but we had a decent conversation about things. I kindly asked him to pay for my meal because I was out of cash (and it doesn't help that I'm unemployed for the time being). He didn't eat anything because he wasn't hungry (which irked me a little in my mind) and sat there watching me eat. Once we left the restaurant he told me he had to get to work in thirty minutes and simply said bye and that was it. He hasn't been much for words in texting, which is in extreme contrast to before the date.

Now, getting back to the other guy who's asking for a second chance - we started talking on facebook last night and he could tell I wasn't in the best mood - and I just came out with it. I told him about how this date went and he admitted to still having feelings for me.
I'm not exactly complaining that he still likes me, but generally I reserve terms of endearment for when I'm actually in a relationship, not after the first date. I also don't sext unless I'm in a relationship - which I haven't been in about a year.

I feel like I'm ready to date, but I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship. Is that weird?

[jimcrackcorn]

Going on dates is a great way of getting to know a potential partner, so your going in the right direction. It sounds like your last two dates didn't get you excited enough to consider either of them as potential relationship material.

One thing I might point out - asking your date to pay for the meal may not go over well, especially if it's your first date together. I would recommend you do something together that is within your budget. Grabbing a soda and hanging out on the beach or at a park for a couple hours can be just as nice as eating at a restaurant.

If a guy sends you pictures of his genitals,,,,,,, he is probably more interested in sex than a relationship.

There are instances where teenagers send nude pics sometimes without really putting much thought into what they are doing. If that's the case, just tell him that it's inappropriate to send something like that to someone they hardly know - I'd still go on a date with him once he understands that it's a little creepy to send nude pics that early in the game. If it's a guy who's in his 20's or 30's, I'd tell him the picture didn't impress me. If he apologizes, then I'd consider dating him in the future, but would remain skeptical until I knew him better. If the guy is over 40 and sending you nude pics of himself,,, I wouldn't take him on a date even if he apologized. At that age, I'd expect some maturity and manners.

I wish you the best,
Jim