A Riddle!

[Matt]

Wade-
1. Your acquaintance must be really dumb. No. You can absolutely be gay without having any sexual experience. Really, you KNOW. Do straight guys have to have sex to prove they're straight...no

2. Dan Savage needs to come to work with me some day. People at work know but it's not like I'm
Out and flaming. My "clientele" doesn't need to know about my personal life. Am I a coward, no, I'd just prefer to come home from work in one piece. My "clientele" doesn't like "faggots". Ugh. That really pisses me off.

[southbiochem]

@SouthBioChem -

Concerning your comments about topic #1 - I can relate to everything you wrote completely. I've only kissed one person (a lady girl) and it was for a play. It was awkward and largely humiliating for me (she had to be properly inebriated to get through it). I've never had someone kiss me who actually wanted to kiss me... so...

The pathetic party: table for two it is.

I also no longer wonder whether I'm really gay. My "friend" was an idiot (as he proved again and again) and was one of the most promiscuous and shallow people I've ever met. I have nothing against promiscuity btw, but this particular fellow had a warped sense of meaningful human relationships, as indicated by his needing physical conformation of his sexuality.

Topic #2 -

Fuck Dan Savage too. I hesitated even mentioning that thing here because I was concerned that it might elicit a response like yours. You don't have a responsibility to the collective. Your life is your own, no one else's.

The only thing Dan Savage has going for him is his confidence. People who never stop to wonder about the validity or effects of their own words and actions tend to be very successful in life. Life is a hell of a lot easier if you're able to convince yourself that everything you say is right and that your word should be taken as gospel. These types of people tend to attract an audience (e.g. Bill O'Reilly) because people want most to be led and they don't want to think for themselves, and who better to lead than someone who doesn't waste time thinking?

Thanks Wade, again, for sharing this and for your words...

yes, indeed some poeple need physical validation of sexuality...a really dumb thing really, cause that would mean some random straight dude who happens to like getting BJs from other guys is instantly gay...nope, you, me and many others know there's a big emotinal component in sexual orientation even in the absence of "action"..

oh, Wade, party for 2 and many more, sure...maybe we should start a business: we can throw Anti-proms, hate-Valentine's-Day-parties and such...

As for Mr. Savage...big dissapointment...his whole project started cause of the 2010 gay suicide trend....you would expect that he wouldn't go arround saying potentially suicide-inducing shit...what if some LGBT kid in a bad mental place hears that comment from him...

I know better than to get upset about things like that...so that's on me..

[nfisher1226]

Point #1 first. For me at least, I thought I might be gay when I was young. Then there were days I thought no, I'm not. I married the girl I was dating as a senior, and based on the fact we had a good sex life I thought maybe it was all in my head, and dismissed my gay feelings and thoughts for a long time.

Problem with that was that they never went away, and only grew stronger over time. Even as I was having by all accounts a very frequent and great sex life I found myself wishing I was with a guy more and more frequently.

By my mid 20's I knew beyond a doubt I was bisexual, but never voiced it out loud except to my wife. She didn't care, except that we both expected monogamy in the relationship.

These days I tend to just call myself gay, because while I had one successful relationship with a woman I've had no others, only date men now, and when I think about it have no real desire to be with a woman again. I find women attractive, but as time went on in my marriage I was less and less happy being in a relationship with a woman. It's not a good fit for me on multiple levels.

What I'm basically trying to say is that sex didn't do anything for me but confuse the issue. It had the exact opposite effect to validating my sexuality. I've had a few relationships with men now. Not many, but enough to be able to say without any reservation that it's what I prefer. I wish I'd figured that out without spending so much of my life denying it.

As for point #2, I think the others have covered my own thoughts about it pretty well. Everybody's situation is different and we all have our own realities, motivations, and problems to deal with. It would be nice if we lived in a world where nobody had to deny their sexuality, but we're just not there yet.