I came out (?)

[southbiochem]

No I don't think I did...

but anyway, you lot deserve to know what NOT to do when to come out..

I don't want to do it...ever...so its not like I was expecting or planning this to happen

the first week this month a friend invited me to stay over in his house...

and I say friend rather losely...I don't really have friends...

but he's a rather nice folk and I've stayed on his house a couple of times most of them when I've left work 22:00 or 23:00 (I live and hour and a half away from work, he lives 20 minutes away)

He is a christian...and straight, btw

Anyhow...

Lately I've been mind-wrecked more than my usual fare and he noticed it one day..so he said he needed to talk to me about it...hence the invitation..

we eat and talked about stupid things till 4 in the morning and when I was at my worse from sleep deprivation he started to ask me what was going on....he went on for a good half an a hour to me make talk....

I was tired, depressed and wanted to sleep

So I said.."I like guys and it's slowly destroying me not telling anyone"..

he was....nice about it...said he kinda knew..(fuuuuuuuuuuck)...but wanted me to tell him personally...

there was a quick hug...ok, so far so good....

and the he finished with : "I hope God finds a good woman for you".......and he went on about "hate the sin not the sinner, so I hate the "gayness" but not you" and Bible this and God that....."you're still going to hell unless you marry a woman"...


so, class, this is what you don't do: TALK WHILE SLEEP DEPRIVATED AND DEPRESSED, COME OUT TO A STRAIGHT CHRISTIAN PERSON...

Needless to say I still feel rather horrible about it even while knowing it could have gone muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch worse...it was still shitty enough for me to further want to hide it from everyone else...

and yes, I'm not talking to him anymore..

fuck it...

[justbry87]

eep!

Sorry that it wasn't the response you'd hope for. I totally know what
you mean about pretty much about 'talking out of your ass' while you
haven't slept properly and pretty much tired. Things just come out of
nowhere and well I'm sure a part of you wanted that person to know or
well, at least someone to know..

I'm glad that you told someone though..

Don't worry I'm sure there's a guy out there for you, lol.. just to counter balance
his hopes that theres the 'right' girl out there for you..

hehe <3

[matty7]

this might sound very strange - the guy you came out to accepts that your gay and has let you stay over but because of his beliefs and you wont talk to him again - its difficult im sure but try to get him on board as a friend , you are gay so tell him that - if he cant accept that your partner will be a man then you can move on - but give him the benefit of the doubt to stay as a freind

[partis]

Sorry he gave you that reaction, though on the other hand maybe its a good thing you told someone and a step in the right direction. With your first "coming out" you met with one type of attitude towards being gay, you know it exists and you shouldnt feel horrible, to not sound too harsh just cancel him from the list of people you need in your life, his opinions never change and neither will you, only his opinions are based on his beliefs, yours are based on who you are, and you could say your first coming out was to your friends here at gs

[southbiochem]

Matty7: I see your point

I did not oust him of my life because of his beleifs,

I merely avoid getting further into the "your going to hell cause you won't marry a woman" dangerous path

now, even while being a scientist I never mocked him nor ostracized him cause of his religiousness, he did not return the favor...and going on about me finding a woman is hardly accepting the fact I'm gay

I didn't stopped talking to him right away...the next time we met he asked me If I had met a woman yet..

sorry if it sounds awfull, but I don't have to put up with that crap

[matty7]

no you don't = simple as that ... and I agree totally , shame he cant bend his religion to accommodate ,, but that's a hot topic anyway

[southbiochem]

it is...

now, I don't hate him or anything...he's still overall a decent guy..

but me...I need to move on to a place where it's Ok for me to finally tell the folks and such...

"going to hell" does not help...

[matty7]

if it helps then ill be right next to you in hell ?/ ill be the one in speedos and a slayer t -shirt lol ...shame he just couldn't see you as a mate and that's it

[mbennet35]

Well you know what my stance is on religion. I am... here it goes... a gay christian. *Gasp*

You know know how often I hear about how I am going to hell. From my own family. I just ignore them because I know that God loves me for who I am. He made me this way.

[jimcrackcorn]

It is so "easy" for a straight christian male to say that sex with another man is a SIN........ It's easy because they are heterosexuals and therefor not affected by it. What's worse, is they don't accept the fact that gays, lesbians, and bisexuals are born this way. They depend on a 2000 year old book to explain the intricacies of human nature. Back then, they knew next to nothing about what makes nature tick.

We've come a long way since then, and they need to update that old, antiquated religious book.

I wouldn't have anything else to do with him either. He will always be trying to convince you that having sex with a man is a sin,,, and that you need to marry a woman. I'd become friends with him again - if he made a "choice" to not believe everything he was taught concerning what that antiquated book says.

God, deliver us from your followers.

Jim