I've been out 2 years. I was married and raised two kids that are now married. I have dated a man for 15 months now. We have never been intimate. He was a wild one in his past but settled done 18 years ago and was in that relationship until 2007 when it ended. His partner left and took up with his friend in an instantly committed relationship then married the man. My BF and his Ex's relationship was in trouble for about 3 years before it ended. The partner was hurt and angry that my BF watched porn and masturbated rather than have that intimacy with him and only wanted sex when he wanted it as he had often masturbated and wasn't in the mood. So his partner refused the role of bottom any longer and indulged in video games to ignore my BF when he wanted sex or only topped my BF who is a vers top but now says he will never bottom again .... I want intimacy in our relationship and am hurt by this. I've suggested counseling which he has tried he says in the past and does not see his watching porn as an addiction although it is ruining our relationship and ruins the past ones as well. I love him very much. Any advise. Anyone been through this before. Please help!
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I would understand more if you 2 already had sex, and maybe he loved you but not enjoy the sex, It's definitely time to talk to your partner, without intimacy, M2W, M2M, W2W, etc, it makes atleast 1 feeling some kinda hurt with self esteem, I'll be honest, sometimes with guys age plays a part and there is enhancements that really help, Viagra, Cialis, etc, If you been with him this long, it's time to have a good sit down talk and be honest, Maybe ask what his fantasies are,,,(gives you an idea how to deal with it), if all this don't work, id just straight up ask "Are you sexually attracted to me"? point blank, better to do this now then to drag it out and possibly be miserable later
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He says he loves me but isn't in love with me. He has no problems with erection he says and I know he uses cock rings to stay hard longer while masturbates so he came come multiple times. We had the talk. He isn't ready for sex. And may never be he said it isn't me; however he is 52 in January and I am 49. His ex is 42 and his last boyfriend was 36 which he says they never had sex and the guy left him...
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Can't say I've been through it.
but he seems indeed a bit damaged on his previous relationship..
do try and talk to him and convince him to go to couples therapy, both of you, so he doesn't feel alone in this..
make sure you let him know you're there for him for anything
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He is on numerous websites says he just chats and isn't looking; however I have no idea as I don't creep him. Privacy is an issue with him I think because he is using the chat for sexual enjoyment and his ex creeped him a lot...
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I think you have a serious problem there. Talking with him, and therapy for him (or as a couple) are probably best. As far as I'm concerned, watching porn and chatting on sex sites are for when you DON'T have a boyfriend. That's not to say that some porn can't have a place in a healthy relationship, but if it's getting in the way of sex with a loving partner, that's not healthy.
Get clear about whether or not he understands how you feel about this issue, then whether or not he is willing to work on it. I hope you can move through it together!
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Thank you! I appreciate the insights all have given me. I true lye and deeply love him.
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Lol I truly love him. Autocorrect hog!
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