Strict Parents well...

[Sylph]

So during my time away, I was doing my thing and my friend told me she came across this odd series in which they was doing a thing about strict parenting and culture and it got me to thinking.

Cause, and yes we're gonna go there, it's a perception that Black people enforce or are more strict with their kids then White people, and although I know this is really not a representation of every single person of either race, it's something I always wondered about.

Because here, especially in the more urban "Ghetto" areas, upbringing tends to be more strict and enforced, by white parents too, although the majority of white parents here are either not Bermudian or are much better off financially and have Nannies, so I don't get to really see the difference.

But they say people from the Islands tend to be a whole lot more strict than even Black Parents outside of the islands. I've seen many videos of Trinidadian Parents, Guyanese Parents, Barbadian Parents and obviously Jamaican and Bermudian Parents, and one obviously commonality that's struck out, was the "Do as I say and not as I do" and the promise of swift discipline.

I mean hell, me personally, I was afraid to cuss till I was even friggin well 18! I'm not bull shitting, my mama would actually ask me to curse, and I could never do, because growing up anytime I ever did, I would get what we call lix or a whalin (beating) and so was afraid she'd flug me one if I ever did. We're very close even when I was younger, but to disrespect her would've been the end of me lol.

It's actually quite rude and offensive to cuss in front of someone who is in their elder years.

So this series kinda opened my eyes abit, cause I've always wondered what's the big difference, why is there even a distinction.

and I do realize the significant majority of this forum is Caucasian, I am not trying to prove a point or offend anyone, but wanna know about how it was at your house hold or what your view on it is. Being from a island, I like to try and find similarities and even differences between us and the rest of the world, to see why that is, it's just always fascinated me.

So this particular situation involves an out of control pair of brit kids and them moving to Jamaica to "get a fixin" and it's kind of long, but it's interesting to watch;














I can't find like the update video to see if they've really changed, but this kinda get's the idea across.

And while they very well may be actors, the message I think is what I'm trying to convey and so I'm curious about what you all think.

And don't just think because "it's Jamaica" as if to say of course a place like that would be hard and strict, it's also the same way here. Not so much in regards to like farming, since we have limited land, but for instance fishing, many boys especially are taken out on fishing trips with their fathers or with other boys to kind of achieve a similar thing.

So fess up gurls ;3

Also, another interesting one that I feel is very similar but alittle more tame in Barbados;
(The little Australian boy would so get it here lol. I've never ever seen anyone act like that before here, same for the gurl, they're worse than the two previous ones)



oh and ps. I absolutely love the Barbadian/Bajan accent. It sounds so unusual, even more so than Trini or Yardie lol, around 12:00-14:00 is when it kicks up alot.

[MisterTinkles]

Ok, so.....as in the words of Sylph "to not offend anyone, but..."

Black Island parents may be more strict, but black parents in the USA (from what I have seen my whole life) are not. Black parents in the USA are lax, lazy, and dont care what their kids do or say. Why do you think so many black kids are "ghetto", "baby makers", promiscuous, violent, abusive, and lazy beyond belief? From what I have seen in my life, the blacks here ONLY have kids for the welfare money....the more they breed kids, the more welfare they get. Thats why ONE black man has 30 "girlfriends".....he keeps them knocked up so they can get MORE government benefits, and in turn they provide him with food, his own place to live, clothes, etc.....so he doesnt have to work..... And when living in California, this was like 99.99% of the black population there.

In Texas its the same, but not as bad. There are a lot of black parents here who are actual parents, they dont have kids just to sit on their fat asses all day watching Oprah, getting knocked up again for the 7th time, to get more government benefits....they actually TEACH their kids good from bad, teach them manners, etiquette, and responsibility, and send them to college to become viable adults in the world.

Yes there ARE white trash parents who do the same thing, but its more prevalent in the black community.

I have a black friend from Bermuda who was raised there until she was a teen. She did not have a strict lifestyle. She was from a one parent family from what I can remember, and from what she has told me of her life there, it was not strict at all.

But overall, where ever..........most parents just dont give a shit. If they did, then kids would grown up with manners, etiquette, and respect for others. As it is, all I see is thieves, liars, cheats, players, drug addicts, whores, "baby makers", and so-called "people" who couldnt care less whether the person next to them lives or dies........unless THEY can make a profit from it, or get their names in the media because of it.

The parents are not always to blame. A very few parents try, but the kids are just BAD, pure and simple. Nothing will ever get them to see that they are nasty, hateful, vile, contemptible wastes of a human being.

So I say that your descriptions are of Island people, not anything standardized all over.

For me, my granny raised me, and my momma took me and my sister from our granny when I was about 8 years old. But my granny had taught me enough that I knew better than to listen to anything my gold-digging, self righteous, two faced, hypocritical "mother" said. And my "momma" was one of those who was so "pure" that she could NEVER get HER hands "dirty" with spanking me or my sister. She always had the boyfriend do it. And gawd forbid that me or my sister actually LIKED one of the guys she dated......cause she would dump his ass as soon as we said anything about liking the guy. Of course she married the douchebag I hated most!!!! She was a fucking cunt in every aspect of the description.....and thats being NICE!!

[southbiochem]

mmmm...I really know little about the Caribbean culture...maybe I can know how things go on islands that were Spanish colonies, cause most likely than not, Spaniards would have left the same imprints that here...mostly, the Catholic nonense...the wives keep maiden names, and such things..

well..over here...regardless of racial background...(and here Odi, you'll have to know that besides Spaniard/Amerindian mix, there was a heavy European influx, mainly Brits, Germans, Italians and French)

parents can be pretty harsh...not overly psychodads and psychomoms but they are more often than not serious folks,worried about traditions, work and education...

of course current new parents, those folks that grew up in the 70s were traumatized by the Military Regime, hence, they are turning to be overly liberal parents, which is making for some really obnoxious ill-behaved kids...

as for my generation, we were still raised the old fashioned way, with some changes..for example, responsibilities were enforced heavily in our mindset but priorities have changed...women just don't get to marry stay home and stuff anymore, they are actually encouraged to have careers..

I bet we will be fine parentes ourselves, growing up without the radical views of Cold War era in my country, which believe or not influenced a lot on how kids are being raised now, as I already said...

mind you, when I say harsh parenting is not that we were beaten up or punished everyday..

quite in fact my mom never had to resort to punishments nor hits...

she only gave one look at us and we knew we had to behave...so, overall Chilean parenting is very conductist..almost Pavlovian..

first it was because of the Catholic influence, but now, more on the side of achieving success and having a good life quiality wich irrevocably stems from having a proper education and a college or technical degree..

[partis]

Ive seen those worlds strictist parents tv show, no offense, i dont like them, they go outta there way to find particully dumb uk kids who have to leave to get a "lesson" from another country. the kids usually act up for the cameras also, ive seen a couple and its embarrising, i hate the media and how they portray us, everyones carefully hand picked in things like this.

I dont doubt what you say though. My household wasnt VERY strict, though there was no swearing or such, one time me and my older sister were fighting and i swore and my mums boyfriend came in really angry and my sister said she swore and he literally washed her mouth out with soap and she had to go to hospital, there was a couple other things, we couldnt leave meals though he really liked me and not my sister for some reason. he left and my mum got married to my step dad whos a c*** , he tried to hit me a few times but could never catch me.

[Sylph]

Ok, so.....as in the words of Sylph "to not offend anyone, but..."

Black Island parents may be more strict, but black parents in the USA (from what I have seen my whole life) are not. Black parents in the USA are lax, lazy, and dont care what their kids do or say. Why do you think so many black kids are "ghetto", "baby makers", promiscuous, violent, abusive, and lazy beyond belief? From what I have seen in my life, the blacks here ONLY have kids for the welfare money....the more they breed kids, the more welfare they get. Thats why ONE black man has 30 "girlfriends".....he keeps them knocked up so they can get MORE government benefits, and in turn they provide him with food, his own place to live, clothes, etc.....so he doesnt have to work..... And when living in California, this was like 99.99% of the black population there.

In Texas its the same, but not as bad. There are a lot of black parents here who are actual parents, they dont have kids just to sit on their fat asses all day watching Oprah, getting knocked up again for the 7th time, to get more government benefits....they actually TEACH their kids good from bad, teach them manners, etiquette, and responsibility, and send them to college to become viable adults in the world.

Yes there ARE white trash parents who do the same thing, but its more prevalent in the black community.

I have a black friend from Bermuda who was raised there until she was a teen. She did not have a strict lifestyle. She was from a one parent family from what I can remember, and from what she has told me of her life there, it was not strict at all.

But overall, where ever..........most parents just dont give a shit. If they did, then kids would grown up with manners, etiquette, and respect for others. As it is, all I see is thieves, liars, cheats, players, drug addicts, whores, "baby makers", and so-called "people" who couldnt care less whether the person next to them lives or dies........unless THEY can make a profit from it, or get their names in the media because of it.

The parents are not always to blame. A very few parents try, but the kids are just BAD, pure and simple. Nothing will ever get them to see that they are nasty, hateful, vile, contemptible wastes of a human being.

So I say that your descriptions are of Island people, not anything standardized all over.

For me, my granny raised me, and my momma took me and my sister from our granny when I was about 8 years old. But my granny had taught me enough that I knew better than to listen to anything my gold-digging, self righteous, two faced, hypocritical "mother" said. And my "momma" was one of those who was so "pure" that she could NEVER get HER hands "dirty" with spanking me or my sister. She always had the boyfriend do it. And gawd forbid that me or my sister actually LIKED one of the guys she dated......cause she would dump his ass as soon as we said anything about liking the guy. Of course she married the douchebag I hated most!!!! She was a fucking cunt in every aspect of the description.....and thats being NICE!!

[COLOR="Blue"]Okay to compartmentalize all that just a lil bit, cause gurl you gave me alot lol;

I get that from either race can be slobs or effectual parents, good teachings and all, but the only reason I even point it out, was for the fact that even on T.V I tend to see mostly Black parents with a belt, what we call "Shout veins" from yelling and so forth, where as White parents are more "It's okay Billy, if thats what you want, but can I ask you to refrain from breaking mommy's dishes?"

I can't say how American or any other type of parent's are for that matter, but I was always curious from watching t.v, and while I know not everything on T.V is the truth, it had to come from somewhere.

Parent's here find some Black Parents in America to have horrible teachings, what with the violence you stated and all that. True we have our own set of problems, but to not be on your kids to us, is like what the fuck? Killing people, we're a small island community, that'd be like shooting your Aunt in the face basically. So that's why I'm shocked with the Americas in that that is so prevalent and does add credibility to the whole lazy black and sometimes white parenting thing.

I would imagine any race in Texas would be a bit more respectful in regards to like conduct and presentation of ones self, because they are a southern culture, which similar to our own is known for it essentially.

However to touch on your Bermy Gal pal, I don't think she knew what the fuck she was talking about no offense, maybe it was in the era she grew up in and her age when she left, cause all kids think their bit of freedom is spectacular, but here and now, it is very strict.

Our schools, it is mandantory to write and in some cases(not often) orally present in Standardized English, I've said this before. Not so much in Primary or Middle School, but there is a heavy emphasis in High School and to not do so is grounds for punishment. The Academy I went to, it was extremely "proper" and regulatory. We even had a barrack for dogs just down the hill from our school that would do random searches of the school.

I grew up in a particularly hard part of the island... the center,what we call "Bakatahn" so I know from experience that in those areas especially, the people there tend to be very old school in the ways of parenting. Curfew at 8pm sharp, any minute later is a day you'd be made to stay inside on the weekends, don't eat dinner? Have it for breakfast, talk back, you get lix. Steal, take it back to the store and ask to work off the cost.

The island for the most part, or rather on the surface is known or seen for it's Party atmosphere like most other islands, the carefree lifestyle, the beaches, perpetual summer, but people fail to realize there is hardships here and "not all dat weh glitter dem is gold".

But I digress lol.

I do remember this black couple though brought their kid with them to the Beach, they was Americans you see and when the child acted up, I was shocked to not see them flug the bie senseless. Any Bermy child acts like that, especially in the presence of older people, would get the nappy hair slapped from their skulls. Girl or Boy.

Appearantly kids can call the police in America on their parents? Not here gurl lol. Call 911 and the police join in, heck [/COLOR]

mmmm...I really know little about the Caribbean culture...maybe I can know how things go on islands that were Spanish colonies, cause most likely than not, Spaniards would have left the same imprints that here...mostly, the Catholic nonense...the wives keep maiden names, and such things..

well..over here...regardless of racial background...(and here Odi, you'll have to know that besides Spaniard/Amerindian mix, there was a heavy European influx, mainly Brits, Germans, Italians and French)

parents can be pretty harsh...not overly psychodads and psychomoms but they are more often than not serious folks,worried about traditions, work and education...

of course current new parents, those folks that grew up in the 70s were traumatized by the Military Regime, hence, they are turning to be overly liberal parents, which is making for some really obnoxious ill-behaved kids...

as for my generation, we were still raised the old fashioned way, with some changes..for example, responsibilities were enforced heavily in our mindset but priorities have changed...women just don't get to marry stay home and stuff anymore, they are actually encouraged to have careers..

I bet we will be fine parentes ourselves, growing up without the radical views of Cold War era in my country, which believe or not influenced a lot on how kids are being raised now, as I already said...

mind you, when I say harsh parenting is not that we were beaten up or punished everyday..

quite in fact my mom never had to resort to punishments nor hits...

she only gave one look at us and we knew we had to behave...so, overall Chilean parenting is very conductist..almost Pavlovian..

first it was because of the Catholic influence, but now, more on the side of achieving success and having a good life quiality wich irrevocably stems from having a proper education and a college or technical degree..

[COLOR="Green"]To be perfectly honest Biochemy, we regard the spanish as a sort of brethren of sorts, I'm not sure why exactly, but it's probably due to that influence you speak of, because although we don't speak spanish, our second official language is Portguese and so I guess we can feel the commonalities. Also Bermuda was once intended to be a spanish colony, discovered by the Spaniard Juan de Bermudez, whose last name we adopted, despite being known by some as "The Devil's Isle".

Not to mention with like Salsa and all that, it's similar to our type of music, dancey and what not. People many times say Caribbean and Spanish are the best dancers. and to be clear, geographically we are not in the Caribbean, but that's our culture. We're listed as "North Atlantic Caribbean" along with Turks and Caicos and the Cayman Islands, although they are closer to the Caribbean Antilles.

I've never really had the chance to get to know anyone Spanish really, so it's interesting to hear of things like that. Although I think everywhere is sort of the same, you get some old school and some way too new school "hands off" parents.

To be clear alittle bit, we don't get beat every day, only when we do wrong lol.

I used to walk to school every day from when I was about 7 all the way to 18 and only ever got in trouble once for stopping to get candy and was five minutes late after my curfew. Needless to say, that was my first and last time making detours without my Nana or mother's knowledge. That was like my 3rd or 4th day of P3(primary 3).

Lucky I wasn't hit but did I ever get the scolding of my life and never did I get to even eat my Candy LOL!!!

But that goes to show how children here are raised, because I wasn't the only kid to walk to school at that age. But as I understand it, and with just cause due to kidnappings there, American kids do not walk to school at that age. Atleast not alone.

Hmm.. perhaps I need to find a Spanish boyfriend to teach me these things.. I wonder oh wonder where any of them lot are <3 :hello-handsome-smil lol[/COLOR]

Ive seen those worlds strictist parents tv show, no offense, i dont like them, they go outta there way to find particully dumb uk kids who have to leave to get a "lesson" from another country. the kids usually act up for the cameras also, ive seen a couple and its embarrising, i hate the media and how they portray us, everyones carefully hand picked in things like this.

I dont doubt what you say though. My household wasnt VERY strict, though there was no swearing or such, one time me and my older sister were fighting and i swore and my mums boyfriend came in really angry and my sister said she swore and he literally washed her mouth out with soap and she had to go to hospital, there was a couple other things, we couldnt leave meals though he really liked me and not my sister for some reason. he left and my mum got married to my step dad whos a c*** , he tried to hit me a few times but could never catch me.

[COLOR="Red"]Oh gurl nothing you can say would offend me boo, but I did kinda get that after the two shows I put up had like only UK kids. And it all seemed too convenient or fast.

For the record, I don't think of England/UK as like cokehead, methheaded weeded out, strung high as de kite... well you get the point. I am aware the UK is quite fabulous and all that, despite my sometimes dogging on you top hats , but unfortunately they were the only ones I could(and could care) to find on Island parenting Vs. other parenting styles.

Bermuda should do one, it'd be both funny as hell and alittle scarey... the things gurl...but anywho, yeah they were the first I saw, so I hope I didn't offend you actually.

and I'm sorry, but until that person has married the parent of the child and made significant contributions to both their relationship with the parent and the child, they are not to punish the kids, especially without the parent's condition.

It's a fine line here, being an island community, we tend to "parent" kids who aren't even ours, although may very well be related, such as telling them to head straight home if they're lingering about or stuff like that, but the moment someone outside the parent's condition to punish their child attempts to do so, is when all hell breaks loose lol.

Except in school lol. Act up in school and you get your hand switched with a very...solid...wooden ruler >.>

Note to the wise, don't back talk the teacher, even if you're having a bad day lol.[/COLOR]

The unruly people you see from the islands, tend to be the ones who didn't either get hit enough or just don't wanna go by "the rules", hence we have gangstas like most other places lol. It's What most people associate with Reggae/Dancehall especially and even Soca music.

It's funny though, cause in Jamaican schools they're taught against sexual anything basically, and yet a good deal of Dancehall music has to due with sex to some degree. So our parenting has flaws too peeps. It's why our culture can be seen as a sexual one, but that's really only one facet :p ... Don't judge me! xD

[justbry87]

:out of topic:

Sylph your signature

braaap-braaap!

haha xP

[Sylph]

:out of topic:

Sylph your signature

braaap-braaap!

haha xP

Gurl chu kno dat enuh!!!

Burmp burmp burmp! Yes bie!

Omg, I'm so mad we don't have our Bermy Christmas Carols on Youtube, it's soooo funny cause our accent is so weird for singing omg. I looked and looked, but it's only local ugggh. I hear it on the Radio all the time!

[Pix]

one obviously commonality that's struck out, was the "Do as I say and not as I do" and the promise of swift discipline.

Though the definitions of "promise of swift discipline" probably differ I suspect that's common around the entire world.

[Pix]

I wish I could find a runaway documentary online that I saw as a rented video over 10 years ago. One of the most surreal bits was a pimp (a black man) actually bragged of kidnapping, raping, and pimping runaways, he like actually puffed out his chest as he boasted, "I'm a pimp!" The guy came off as a monster to me.

Later on in the documentary the team noticed that this guy who boasted what a violent powerful man he was seemed to be trying to hide and got curious. And thus they caught when the pimp was confronted by two women...one his mother. Both women were loud, no-nonsense, and condemning of his lifestyle and the kind of person he was and though the pimp was taller than both of them he hung his head and somehow looked smaller, I could actually imagine him as a little boy. And when one asked if he was trying to hurt his mother the loud, profane pimp said meekly, "No, ma'am." (Or that's how I vaguely remember it, it's been so long since I've seen it.)

One black guy told me that the worst thing black boys growing up in Chicago (at least back when he was growing up in probably the late 70s/early 80s) feared from the police was not being beaten or anything like that but the police calling their mother who "could be so much worse."

[Sylph]

Though the definitions of "promise of swift discipline" probably differ I suspect that's common around the entire world.

Oh yeah, but I guess what I mean by that is basically a "flugging" or getting hit with a belt. Or just lix (I guess smacks is what you'd call it?).

Typically a saying here goes; "If you do not listen, then you shall feel".

When parent's here say discipline, it usually means getting hit lol. Amongst other things such as not being allowed outside or access to like toys or whatever.

I actually spoke with an American couple when I was working at the beach who were actually shocked to see a Bermudian mother smack her child in the mouth. They asked me if that was okay and to me, it's not unusual, cause usually it's to tell the child, if ever they say anything bad, they get hit in the mouth. So that they won't say what ever it was that they were hit for again.

Not like a sucker punch or anything, but like a firm tap that kinda startles the child. Sounds alittle barbaric, but I told them it's not anything to worry over.

I was never hit like that, but I've seen other kids get hit that way, so I made sure to never say bad things lol. Hence my fear of cursing for so very long... and now I just let it the fuck out.

We are taught that these are adult words, and kids don't say those things. Actually, Kids were only supposed to be seen and not heard and spoken when spoken to. That's how my nana raised me ( my mother had me when she was 14, so she was sort of growing up with me).


This is sometimes why I look at American and some European people on t.v and think... what the fuck happened? I know not the whole of the country is bad, but sometimes the shit I see lol

If ever a daughter wined and complained to her parents, got defiant like how the "Barbies" girls do... well I just wish them well in the infirmary, cause gurl >.>