Caught him in the toilet

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well.

Unlike you I have actually been part of the drug scene, so in my experiences two guys (gay or otherwise) found in a ladies room stall would scream 'they are doing drugs!' over 'they are having sex!'.

Furthermore, I rarely strike first (punch/slap or other activities). While I am real good at hitting back when hit first, I have only struck out first 3-4 times if that.

To be perfectly honest with you, DO NOT be involved in the drug scene.

His doing drugs is going to end up rubbing off on you - eventually. Sure sure, you are telling yourself right now that you would never, ever do drugs. All Drug addicts said that BEFORE they started using.

I said it before I did my first line of coke. Then I said I would never have a needle in my arm, and my Forth partner slid a needle into my arm and took me to a world were I ended up spending more than a few years sticking a needle in my arm.

Your attitude of letting him do drugs, drink party and making him happy is the wrong attitude. Seriously where does this stop? If it make him happy will you drop acid with him? Do a line of coke with him (Oh come on baby, trust me sex on coke is totally awesome and I want to make you happy by snorting coke and taking you to a world you can't imagine).

This is the way it goes - honestly I know way too many people who started using some substance because their partner/lover introduced them to a world that they promised would make them happy. It never does in the end.

You already have what is called 'anger issues'. A punch and a slap is a problem, a serious problem which you need to get into check now. Regardless of what happened, your reaction to what you saw was wrong. Hitting/slapping - violence is not the right reaction.

Is this hitting/punching violence a normal reaction for you? If not, then why are you suddenly doing it? Something is wrong - No?

You are on the edge of a cliff here and apparently now one foot is on a banana peel and there is someone who appears most willing to give you a good shove.

Back out of it while you can.

Understand you can NOT save him from himself. There is only one person you can save that that is yourself.

You can NOT get him to clean up (stop using/partying) and the longer you hang out around him the greater your chances he will pull you into his world.

I have been in that world, and I still struggle at time to keep from going back, and its been nearly 2 decades since the last time I used drugs. Trust me on this, it is far, far easier to keep from going to that world than it is to get out of it.

There are better guys out there, guys like you who have their act together, are not using/partying and who won't lead you into damnation.

Please, please, please distance yourself from that world now, while you still can.

[Geminize]

How would you react?
I would probably have just walked out, and said goodbye later.

How do I move on from this as it still hurts me?
Moving on is not easy. You have to decide what you will put up with from a partner. Him disappearing while you were buying drinks would be unacceptable to me.

Did I do anything wrong?
Jumping to conclusions and hitting a stranger is a bit extreme, but I understand.

Am I being stupid?
I would not choose to be in relationship with a drug user, but that's up to you. Life is complicated. I know people who have used drugs recreationally and responsibly for years. I also know people whose lives have been destroyed by drugs.

Am I wrong to be feeling the way I am?
No.

To me the bigger issue here is that it seemed ok to him to disappear without saying a word to you. Of course you were suspicious. You were out together, you turned your back on him to buy drinks, and suddenly he's off to the toilet with another guy. That's a problem.