When I think about it, they really kind of don't. If your straight or gay, you're attracted to only one side. So someone couldn't really rag on a guy for dating another guy if they're gay, because men are all they like. They can't be with a women very easily because they just aren't attracted to them. But a bisexual...if they're attracted to both sexes, then a bisexual man in a relationship with another man would get flak because they could be with a women much easier than a gay man could, but they're choosing to be with a guy. And I know that it's theorized (or confirmed, I don't know) that no one is truly 50-50 and everyone has a preference. But people could argue that unlike gay people who have little to no sexual attraction to girls, a bisexual man does have a significant amount of attraction to make it work, and yet they choose a guy. So, do bisexuals really have a choice? Because with so much pressure by society, they might as well just go straight to avoid all the trouble that comes with being with the same sex. When people argue that being gay is a choice and the other side says something like "Why would I choose the more difficult life? Gay is just a part of me." The same couldn't really be said for a bisexual because they could choose a girl. So when you think about it, thanks to societal pressure, bisexuals don't have a choice. They have to be straight unless they want to be seen as deviant by society.
I'm kinda just thinking out loud here, I don't really have a question. But what's your take on this? Am I right? Am I wrong? Is there something else to bisexuality I'm missing? As someone who's starting to find both sexes attractive myself, it does feel really confusing and sometimes I wish I could just make up my mind. When I watch gay porn, I feel a little guilty because I'm pretty damn sure I like girls, and yet I'm ignoring them when I don't have to. And if I got in a committed relationship with a girl, would my possible bisexuality be a problem? Would I eventually crave a man? .....I just realized I am now bombarding you with questions that I said I didn't have....
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You're right. Bisexuals can choose to abstain from one gender and limit themselves to the other.
Many do.
Question: Why does it matter? If you truly fall in love with someone, that's who you're in love with. If they're a man or a woman and you love them, more than anything else in your life, who cares if someone is going to give you flak for not falling in love with a certain gender? Love is about the person you fall in love with, not the gender of the person. Expanding on this, love is separate from lust. When you love someone, you'll still feel sexual attraction for other people. I am in a relationship, and still have minor crushes. It is my choice to act on them or not, just as it is a bisexual person's choice to act on his crushes of either gender when in a relationship with someone.
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Sometimes I'm bothered about this problem, cause I think there's a kind of discrimination about bisexuality.
When I found a boy or a girl that I like I'm scared to tell them that I like also boys and girls, cause it makes the things more difficult than saying 'I'm gay'/'I'm straight'.
For examples some gay guys are scared that you could easily betray them with a girl.
I think is crazy, cause we're talking about...The point is not a girl or a boy, is being a piece of shit hurting the one you are supposed to love, or something.
But to the guys (even with my very very small experiences) I always told immediately. With the girls is another pair of hand ahah.
My solution is don't think too much about that. Sometimes I have a crush for a girl, sometimes for a guy.
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And, I don't believe in things like: the 12,4% of the population is gay, the 7.6% bi, the 23.81% something, and the rest straight. I think there are many kind of sexualities and bisexualities and many of the gay/straight are in part bi. Specially the girls, being homosexual for a girl is maybe even more difficult than for a guy, in our bigot society...
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My boyfriend is bisexual but he's planning on coming out as gay to his ultra-religious mom so she won't try and force him to live heterosexually because that's more virtuous or whatever.
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For me, it's not so much the gender that I'm choosing. I'm attracted to individuals rather than their genders. Yes, it would be more convenient to just choose the opposite gender and remain "normal," but if a guy is attractive then I'm not thinking about that. I may be dating a girl now, but the guy I dated before her got my attention for reasons completely unrelated to his gender. The "choice" isn't always what people expect it to be.
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Woollyhats Wrote:You're right. Bisexuals can choose to abstain from one gender and limit themselves to the other.
Many do.
Question: Why does it matter? If you truly fall in love with someone, that's who you're in love with. If they're a man or a woman and you love them, more than anything else in your life, who cares if someone is going to give you flak for not falling in love with a certain gender? Love is about the person you fall in love with, not the gender of the person. Expanding on this, love is separate from lust. When you love someone, you'll still feel sexual attraction for other people. I am in a relationship, and still have minor crushes. It is my choice to act on them or not, just as it is a bisexual person's choice to act on his crushes of either gender when in a relationship with someone. My question boy... are you bisexual?
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I don't know if I'm right or wrong but I agree with you TonyAndonuts.
And if I got in a committed relationship with a girl, would my possible bisexuality be a problem? I don't think you'll have that problem if you are in a really committed relationship with someone (either guy or girl) who you really love. If you really love someone, you won't cheat on that person. Am I right? So I don't think bisexuality is the problem here.
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Jake Wrote:My question boy... are you bisexual?
Nope, but my boyfriend and a lot of my best friends are (I actually ended up explaining bisexuality to one friend, who realized she was bisexual and came out the next day), so I'm used to associating with them and I think I have a grasp on what it is to be bisexual. Before I met these people, I still knew what bisexuality was, from the same online source where I first learned what homosexuality was (which I'll include at the end of this post - it's excellent). What I've said essentially is that a bisexual isn't driven mindlessly by a mad sexual craving to have open relationships where they're having sex with with people of both genders, to sate an over-powering lust that propels them through their lives.
Which probably sounds ridiculous, but this is frequently the argument I hear following the line, "I would never date a bisexual because...", or even, "I am considering cheating on my [insert partner] because"...
And I know it's just not true, or at least, it doesn't have to be.
http://www.stop-homophobia.com/bisexualityisreal.htm
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[quote=TonyAndonuts]When I think about it, they really kind of don't. If your straight or gay, you're attracted to only one side. So someone couldn't really rag on a guy for dating another guy if they're gay, because men are all they like. They can't be with a women very easily because they just aren't attracted to them. But a bisexual...if they're attracted to both sexes, then a bisexual man in a relationship with another man would get flak because they could be with a women much easier than a gay man could, but they're choosing to be with a guy. And I know that it's theorized (or confirmed, I don't know) that no one is truly 50-50 and everyone has a preference. But people could argue that unlike gay people who have little to no sexual attraction to girls, a bisexual man does have a significant amount of attraction to make it work, and yet they choose a guy. So, do bisexuals really have a choice? Because with so much pressure by society, they might as well just go straight to avoid all the trouble that comes with being with the same sex. When people argue that being gay is a choice and the other side says something like "Why would I choose the more difficult life? Gay is just a part of me." The same couldn't really be said for a bisexual because they could choose a girl. So when you think about it, thanks to societal pressure, bisexuals don't have a choice. They have to be straight unless they want to be seen as deviant by society.
I'm kinda just thinking out loud here, I don't really have a question. But what's your take on this? Am I right? Am I wrong? Is there something else to bisexuality I'm missing? As someone who's starting to find both sexes attractive myself, it does feel really confusing and sometimes I wish I could just make up my mind. When I watch gay porn, I feel a little guilty because I'm pretty damn sure I like girls, and yet I'm ignoring them when I don't have to. And if I got in a committed relationship with a girl, would my possible bisexuality be a problem? Would I eventually crave a man? .....I just realized I am now bombarding you with questions that I said I didn't have....[/QUOT If you are a good person being gay, straight, or bi etc. dont change who you really are, being bi myself I dont feel the need to have to come out and tell everyone, my partner knows im bi, so is she, we both stay between us our other sex interest, in our case, the same situation is an interest in just sex, not romantic, but we're both human and honest about it. For those who have romantic feelings I feel the most important thing is to wait before you settle down with a partner, until you find one who respects all your interests and accepts them, as well as you should do for your partner
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Personally what makes me BI is that I like checking out the curves on chicks but my ex wife and girl friends all sorta drove me nutts eventually so I couldn't stay with them. I find that I can be more intimate with a guy in the bedroom then I ever could with a woman. So me being bi doesn't necessarily mean I can date both and switch back and for but more so that I have a base attraction to both sexes in some way. I though about dating a tranny in the past as long as they are still preop and they don't want to completely transition to something like a straight woman. So I guess the definition varies.
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Do bisexuals really have a choice?
