tiyceman Wrote:hi my brother and his wife have had his first child and of course im happy for them but I cant help feel empty like I need some thing else in my life but my family have told me that they would not support me if I decide to have child and that its wrong but this feeling of emptiness is realy upsetting can you give me some advice
Hey friend, welcome to gay speak.
I know the feeling. From a very early age all I ever wanted to be was a father and the prospect of not having a child did upset me deeply to the point I tried to be straight. Dated women and even tried to convince myself that I could live that way denying who I really was.
Here is the reality that I really had to convince myself of. I could get with a woman that doesn't want or can't have kids. I may not be able to have kids myself. I may meet a fellow that has a kid, I may meet a guy that wants a kid. The possibilities are endless. I may never have a child. There are no guarantees in life. But there is hope. I never thought I could come out to mom and dad, they are very Christian and very conservative. It was hard at first but it's getting better. If they don't approve it's okay because I am a man and do not require their approval.
You aren't guaranteed tomorrow and let's say in twenty years, heaven forbid, you fall victim to some catastrophe that leaves you on your death bed. Which would be a bigger regret never having embarked on one of life's great adventures, or having forced your parents to accept something?
Live for you. It's great to wish to impress your parents it likely means that there is a string loving bond there. But they don't always know best part of growing up is learning what is best for you.
Right now, get as close as you can to your niece/nephew it may not be your child but he is your flesh and blood. Change some diapers, watch him over two nights let your brother and sister in law go on a little trip. That will knock that glitter right out of your eyes. If you still want it, make sure you find a partner that wants the same thing and it will be your decision.
But you are far far too young to give up hope. Without hope we have nothing. I am not a father, I am ten years older than you but I may be one day, and if I never get to be it's okay too. I touched my nephew's life. There is so much to life. Hope opens so many doors, don't be afraid to peek through them.